<p>This doesnt pass the smell test. Its highly unlikely the school will allow your father to live on campus with you. What kind of housing is this?</p>
<p>@jym626 We live at a off campus apartment…</p>
<p>OP - I agree with mom2colkegekids that this will likely get better in time for your parents. It seems like you are on the right track by apologizing to them . I understand feeling embarrassed but there will be students living at home at your college. Take this one step at a time. Your parents are hurt and angry and while they may say you will live with them until you get married- that is a long time and a lot can change in that time. Just do your best, be trustworthy and over time you will probably get more freedom. </p>
<p>In your OP you said hew had to live with you on campus. Was confusing.</p>
<p>The college I am going to is a solely a college town and it’s unlikely people commute to their parents. I can live with the time thing, but I am worried they will just get used to this whole situation and embrace it. My mom takes things overboard alot of the time. Recently after like 6 or 7 months since the incident she has yelled at me and smacked me to reveal details I have already gave months ago. </p>
<p>You are lucky they are paying for any college at all. I would go ahead with living with your dad. No worries about them making you do it until you get married, once you have a degree you can get a job and do what you want to. And if your dad travels a lot, you may get a bit of freedom when that happens (unless he has your mom come and stay then…). My thinking is, either way your living with your parents. You might as well go to the better school and do it.</p>
<p>You lost their trust. Are you the first child? Maybe a daughter?</p>
<p>You know what they worry about most is probably how you and they come off as parents to the Indian culture. Their anger is probably more about what everybody else is thinking. Your actions represent the family. Right now, they just want to make sure you get back on track. Get a better education and have a decent future. And only way they see getting back control now is by having our Dad live with you. </p>
<p>Honestly, that is just going to cause more issues for you and for them later. It’s going to strain your relationship between you and your parents. </p>
<p>I am their first son. Well no one knows about it and I keep relatively quiet. I do agree that it will put more strain on our relationship. Living at home and constantly having arguments about them reading deep into my personal text messages and Facebook messages puts alot of restraint. There is one thing about them being upset and I am sorry, but they are invading the privacy of my friends by reading messages they send to me in confidence. Like one thing that makes me feel my parents go overboard is that I don’t have privacy every person has. Its not enough that I stay at home all day, but they feel like something is going to happen from my living room so they need to read my messages EVERYDAY. </p>
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<p>But you WOULD do it again otherwise? Maybe that’s the attitude that worries your parents.</p>
<p>If you want privacy. Don’t use social media to say things!</p>
<p>Or do you mean on your phone? email?</p>
<p>This one you can control.</p>
<p>Either way, I would just not communicate with friends through Facebook, texts and emails. If these people are your friends they will understand that in order for you to communicate them that you’ll have to actual pick up the phone and call them.</p>
<p>Let’s look at it this way. If the cops caught you doing drugs instead of your parents, you could be complaining about losing your freedom inside a 10x-10 cell . Even if they did not catch you, drugs only lead you down a bad path.
Your parents just want to make sure that does not happen. Do you think it’s fun for the parents to have to do what they are doing?
You need to stay on a straight and narrow for some time and earn their trust.
You are lucky to get a second chance, some other parents may just cut you off altogether. See how you like your freedom then.</p>
<p>Oh please. How are they reading your text messages and FB posts? Change the passwords on your FB account…or disable it entirely. You will survive. </p>
<p>What kind of advice is that? I am sure they would ask to have the passwd. What do you suggest the boy do ?</p>
<p>Close his FB account. Just close it. Communicate with friends differently. If there is concern on his part, he can delete text messages from his phone immediately after reading them. Heck…I do that all the time. </p>
<p>That is what I would suggest. </p>
<p>If he doesn’t HAVE a Facebook page, there won’t be one to read. If he deletes his texts…there won’t be anything to read.</p>
<p>Great, just great. </p>
<p>I have tried the facebook deletion, but I talk to alot of my business partners overseas with it and it becomes inconvenient. Even if I delete they usually reactivate it. Actually I have caught my mom messaging my friends from my account and thats what concerns me even more. Look I messed up, but I guarantee that 90 percent of college students have drank before. My parents don’t drink so even drinking a little shocks them. I believe that my grades are not bad enough for them to do what they do. I get that this is technically a second chance, but DePaul was like the start of my second chance and now this new State school should be a renewed sense of letting me be alone. If everyone made mistakes and get punished the way I did then everyone would have their parents move in with them. I guess my dad can live with me, but I really dont want it to be a permanent thing. </p>
<p>What you did was irresponsible and all, but it’s clear that you already realize that, plus people have already discussed it, so all I’m gonna say is that I sympathize with you. I’m a senior in college, and I didn’t do drugs or anything (so I guess our situations are a bit different, but still), but my parents are being very controlling (because college apps, grades, I wasn’t on my best behavior, whatnot)—like, I’m already stressing out about colleges/grades and all, I really don’t need them adding more stress x_x I feel dead sometimes. But I digress. I wish you the best 
If you don’t like the embarrassment of your dad living with you, perhaps you can offer an alternative, like a camera? (I watched the Nest Ad recently) I’d hate it, myself, but perhaps it’s a slightly better option for you? Or make a deal with them, saying that you’d do this in this, in exchange for your freedom after this amount of time. Or just sit down and have a talk with them—say that right now your relationship with them is strained, and doing this move in would make it worse, and that you’d like to talk this out for the good of the family. Something like that. Whichever way you go, logos or pathos, good luck.</p>
<p>One of the best pieces of advice I have heard today. I am thinking of writing a letter instead of talking because it seems everytime I bring up the topic they don’t listen. </p>
<p>I still do not understand why you can’t have accounts that your parents have no knowledge that they exist? </p>
<p>I say you pull their bluff. Tell them that you arent going off to college. Say you’ve decided you need to stay home one year and work hard to regain their trust. No, this really isnt going to go off well and it isn’t going to be truly an option for you, but it will probably freak them out. A choice between not attending college or staying home and working isnt usually an accepted option. How would they explain this to their friends and relatives if you’re hanging around since nobody seems to know the family issues? They might agree to let you go off to college on your own. Stipulation is that you get 3 months off at school to prove that you can manage without Dad there living with you. You screw up and Dad had every right to be on your tail.</p>
<p>Another great idea</p>