Overshadowed by sibling?

<p>I have a sister who recently got into a college (a really good one too!) and I was so happy for her. but honestly, ever since that, life is just not as nice as it used to be. more and more I have started to notice people coming up to me to talk about my sister, and that my parents are comparing me to her more than ever. I HATE IT!!! i have written so many stories (titled "depression of the lesser sister" and such) because writing helps me vent my emotions. but there is only so much i can write, and i really wish there was someone I could talk to about this... somebody who really understands how i feel...</p>

<p>You might want to seek out help from a therapist. </p>

<p>Seriously...that was the best thing I ever did. :)</p>

<p>please you dont need a therapist. The whole point of that is to talk to them in a different way and the reason its different is because they dont know you and vice versa. Its the anonymity and you can have that on online forums. That is why people flock to these because you can create your own persona or talk however you want.</p>

<p>try being compared to a twin.</p>

<p>that must suck</p>

<p>Just work harder to overtake your sibling. My little brother is smarter than I am when it comes to match and hard science concepts. They just do not click with me. However, I am the master in my family when it comes to writing, logic, and reason. Sometimes, my logic and writing skills are seen as "inferior" to his straight-up math skills. So I make sure to work even harder, knowing I have the extra incentive. It is his goal to always keep up with me so if anything, a little healthy competition is good.</p>

<p>cmonn its life. u cannot honestly say life is just not as nice when there are sibling-less orphans in Africa living in a poor village without a sweet drop of water in their mouth, starving, and reaching out for help from strangers.</p>

<p>lol, i might have overexaggerated it but its life. Theres ups, theres downs. Just wait, everything happens for a reason and you dont realize that until the event has passed. What doesnt kill u, only makes u stronger.</p>

<p>At least you are being overshadowed by an older sibling. I am being completely overshadowed by my younger brother.</p>

<p>He is in 7th grade right now taking H math analysis in a nationally recognized joint middle-high school. He doesn't even study and always sets the curve on his math tests (he is in class with high school sophomores and juniors) that the teacher is recommending him to take AP Calc BC next year. Not only that but he enters essay competitions often and win about $2000 scholarships every couple months. He also scored a very high SAT score for the CTY Johns Hopkins program and is getting a $50,000 scholarship for use in college. Not to mention that he has straight A's right now and writes like a student in AP english, funny thing is that he never studies (goes out every freaking day) and doesn't even care that he is smart. His IQ score was 168.. I took a test too (got a 137), but I just told him that I didn't take it. </p>

<p>I am by no means slow or anything, but having a brother who is a complete genius is hard. Even though he doesn't show off or anything, you consistently compare yourself to him and sometimes your parents do it too. </p>

<p>Sigh.. :( Yeah, I understand your pain OP.</p>

<p>Once you get into college and everyone is smarter than you in so many different ways you won't worry so much about being overshadowed academically. People all have strengths and weaknesses, if she's better than you at some things she's probably worse than you at other things. (My brother has a PhD from Caltech. But I'll always be better than him at NetHack! :p) And in high school it may look like there's a linear progression of "smartness," but really intelligence doesn't matter that much, and there's kind of room for everyone to fit into the world even if they're not so smart or didn't get such good grades...like in research, the top authorities aren't the most brilliant scientists, they're just people who've worked on the same problem their whole lives. And there are many different problems to work on, so lots of room for both you and your sister to thrive...</p>

<p>In other words, it'll get better. Cheer up :)</p>

<p>I love being an only child. Problem is that all my parent's hope rests on me, so I really can't afford to screw up.</p>

<p>@GPAx213: your younger brother will probably be only a university professor. That's how all child prodigies end up. And yes, I have a jealousy vibe right now</p>

<p>i am not saying that i don't like the life i am living...its just a little bit more unpleasant. I guess i am a little bit jealous because now she is in the limelight, versus in the past, I would be the one in that position. its just hard to cope with :(
and also I made it sound like I hate my sister, which is definitely not the case. she is like the greatest person, and I really do love her, but its everyone else who compare us that completely ruins the relationship. the main thing is, I consider myself to be smart as well, but because of her recent successes it seems that people instantly judge me as not being intelligent at all. if i was in any other family, I feel like I would be the star...</p>

<p>maybe i am just waaaaayyy too dramatic... haha probably. it's just not a fun feeling :-/</p>

<p>Find something you're really good at and become really good at it. Once you're the world's foremost expert on nose-picking habits of Australian Aborigines, no one can say that you're stupid.</p>

<p>People compare me and my twin all the time, she has harder classes so people walk up to me and say "So N is the smart twin?" I hate it, my family dose it to and when I tell them what they are doing talkig about us like we are an expirement they just say "We don't compare you." Then they say something like "You are the sensetive twin arn't you." So yeah I know what it's like to be overshadowed by a sibling. Not that I would trade being a twin for anything I just wish people coud see us as two people not one.</p>

<p>awww that sucks.... it must be so hard to be compared to a twin :(</p>

<p>and i understand about the parent thing too...</p>

<p>I SAID ***** YOU GOT SOME SIBLINGS AND I DONT LIKE IT</p>

<p>unforgivable aside, I have no idea what you're going through but my words of wisdom are contained within this</a> message</p>

<p>Haha, upper classmen don't know me by my name, but as -insert sister's name- little sister. Really though, my sister is better at english and history, while I'm better at math and science. I think she's a lot smarter than me, but she's really really really lazy in most classes, but she still gets good grades. I guess I try harder. It doesn't really faze me, we're good at our own separate things.</p>

<p>but at least you try hard right? i always used to be the little sister who everyone knew, i kept good grades, and i didn't even try at all. it also hurts the most when comparisons come from your relatives (i.e. grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc). that's actually the thing that gets me the most. i do a lot of stuff outside of school too --- have i already said that? ---- but it seems not to matter because i am academically inferior...</p>

<p>Well if you try harder, than your grades might become even better! (: As other people have said, find something you love to do, and really go for it. Your own unique little thing.
And honestly, I think that
one's own opinion > opinions from other people, so you can maybe tell them you don't appreciate their critique</p>

<p>I think it's just as bad as being overshadowed by distant relatives. I have some cousins down in MO who got into this exclusive BA/MD program at UMKC, which I was rejected from. Of course, they enjoy bringing up the subject, but fail to remember that they applied ten years ago and are instate. It's just irritating.</p>

<p>I feel your pain. =[ What sucks is when almost all of your teachers have had your siblings as students before you. All my science teachers have had my siblings before and they expect me to do the same kind of work. But none of them seem to realize that I'm not my sister or brother and I don't do as much homework as either of them!</p>