<p>While I know that many will say, "It's the student's responsibility" and "They're adults and need to handle things themselves," I would still like other opinions on this...</p>
<p>My child has asked me to attend an upcoming advising session because his advisor is apparently "scattered" and unclear about critical issues related to courses and credits needed to reach the graduation requirement. He is uncomfortable asking to switch advisors this far into the process. He has had several sessions thus far and emerges unclear and my concern is that he does not have "the facts" about exactly where he is in the process and how much farther he has to go.</p>
<p>He has asked me to attend his next advising session -- not my request but his -- and I said I would gladly attend. So my question is...can an advisor refuse to allow a parent to attend?</p>
<p>If your son is the one who requested it, I don’t see why the advisor can refuse.</p>
<p>However, the request may need to be put in writing and filed with the appropriate office depending on the school and their policies. </p>
<p>There is a slight risk…especially with older Profs that the advisor may hold this against your son on account of perceived “lack of maturity/independence/initiative”* which may influence the advising/support given. </p>
<p>However, if your son’s this unhappy with the advisor’s support anyways, changing the advisor and preferably not having the Prof for courses in the future may be the best course of action in the longer term.</p>
<ul>
<li>Back when I was an undergrad in the mid-late '90s, I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve heard Profs tell classmates “This is college. You’re not in high school anymore.”</li>
</ul>
<p>Is this for high school or college? For high school I would say absolutely attend if he has requested it. For college, I think it would be very unusual.</p>
<p>Aren’t there resources available on the school’s website that describe what courses are required for graduation, credits, what classes fulfill that, or whatnot? If there is, your son could look into it himself and present this information to his advisor at the meeting.</p>
<p>If your son doesn’t think his advisor is doing his job well, he should do what is right for him and switch. If I was an advisor and my advisee invited a parent I would question if the student was ready to handle their education if they don’t feel confident advocating for what is best for himself/herself. It’s hard, but it’s a part of life. Would you do the same thing when he is negotiating benefits at a new job?</p>
<p>Tell your son not to hesitate to switch advisors. Do it ASAP. Ditto cobrat–he should also avoid classes taught by the old advisor if he thinks there will be any “problem.” </p>
<p>(D stuck with a bad advisor, who obviously never warmed up to her and had a known reputation for “playing favorites,” D even took multiple classes from her. . .D didn’t even consider that she COULD switch advisors. This lack of knowledge and poor decisions on this hurt D in the long run.)</p>
<p>Switch. An advisor needs to be helpful. If he/she is not helpful to the student, the student should find someone else. The old advisor will be probably be happy to dump this responsibility.</p>
<p>It’s fine, although a little unusual, for you to attend a college-level advising appointment with your son at his invitation, particularly if he is new to the advising process, but be prepared for the advisor to expect your son to ask the questions and do the talking, not you. Your role is to listen, not intervene. The advisor may not want to talk to you directly. Don’t take it personally. Don’t use the word “we,” as in “we have questions about…” Your son is going to have to learn to read his audit, understand the written catalog requirements, etc., without someone telling him everything explicitly. It’s possible that he just has a bad advisor, as others have said, but it also may be that he is used to having his program laid out and signed off for him. The advisor is not going to tell him exactly what to take and in what order. He needs to get over that expectation (if indeed he has it).</p>
<p>It is extremely helpful if the student comes in with a written course plan that the advisor can respond to effectively. Too many students come in with a totally passive attitude, as in “Tell me what to take.” Again, I’m not saying that’s your son, but I’ve seen it many times.</p>
<p>Does the college have an online degree audit? This might help your son figure out what he needs in terms of requirements to graduate. I would also recommend changing advisors, especially if there is another faculty member in the department that your student likes. I have never had a parent sit in on an advising session but I did have a spouse sit in once.</p>
<p>RE changing advisors: students do it all the time. It’s not cause for offense. Your son could ask the department chair (or the person who does the advising coordinating) for a different assignment.</p>
<p>Thanks to all for your wonderful guidance. So sorry that I was unclear…this is college and my son is entering his senior year. Says his advisor is nice but scattered. Given that he’s reaching the 11th hour in terms of courses/credits, there’s no opportunity to play around with it and he’s not getting the details he needs. So he asked me to attend.</p>
<p>Oh, and need to add based upon a recent response…the advisor <em>is</em> the department chair so this is part of the awkwardness about asking for a change.</p>
<p>If you attend, what will you DO? Will you ask questions, question the advice of the advisor, or what? If your son wants you there for moral support, I would say, yes…go if you can. But I would think the interactions and discussions should be between the advisor and your son.</p>
<p>Is there any way you could coach your son in advance to give him the confidence to speak up if he is concerned about what the advisor is saying? Can you check the course requirements with your son, make a list of what is remaining, and ask your son to get a clear answer about which courses will be taken when (although if your son is a senior…he either has only one more semester to schedule, or two quarters left to schedule)?</p>
<p>I don’t think the advisor can tell you that you can not attend, but it will be a bit awkward, one would think.</p>
<p>My response is as someone who frequently hires recent college grads, not as a parent here. </p>
<p>I would do as Thumper advises. Have your S work through the course catalog/requirements that are surely available on line to figure out where he stands based on what is published. Have him write up an agenda and questions and attend alone. </p>
<p>He is about to enter the work world and will surely need to work independently on more complex problems that this and with more scattered people than his advisor.</p>
<p>At my daughter’s college, as soon as declare a major, they write up a contract with their adviser laying out the courses the student will take to graduate. The contract is revised as needed but there is always a signed off document to everyone is clear. Thank goodness.</p>
<p>It seems like your son might benefit from writing up the classes he has taken and what requirements they fulfill. I can’t really see why he can’t figure this out on his own. Is this information not available on the college and department website? But if he writes up his classes taken and intended classes, then he shows it to the adviser, does he think this will resolve the issue?</p>
<p>Oh, and has he gone over this with you in detail, can you see where the confusion comes from? Maybe you can help him sort it out or you can see what it is that needs clarification.</p>
<p>I think it would be strange if you go. What would he do if you didn’t live close enough? He has to learn to be clear, ask clear questions and be upfront if he isn’t understanding the adviser. The dept head must know these answers so it is a matter of communication. He should go in being very familiar with all written material on the subject. He has to keep at it. He has to say ‘I don’t want to leave here confused. Does class X satisfy my requirement… with this schedule I have written, will I be eligible for graduation…’</p>
<p>I agree with what others have posted. Between the school catalog and other materials, your son should be able to figure out whether he is meeting the requirements for graduation or not. I went to a rigorous LAC and didn’t need my advisor to do much besides sign off on my registration for courses every semester. I would use the catalog, check off courses as they were accomplished, etc, and during independent research just checked in weekly with the supervising faculty member. If your son didn’t like the style of his advisor, he should have requested a switch long before now, department head or not. I think it would raise eyebrows to have a parent need to sit in with a senior for advising. If your son doesn’t fully understand a job requirement, is he going to ask you to come to work? I see no difference at this point. He needs to get his questions needing clarification down on paper, use that during his meeting, and keep questioning until he is clear about the answers. Unless he is doing a very unique, personally created major, the other place he may be able to go for clarification is the registrar’s office. They are usually very familiar with graduation requirements, have seen it all, and pretty much know when someone is missing something important. He could stop in that office and ask for some guidance as well. My mother-in-law is a registrar and she is the one who catches kids that can’t graduate for some reason or another…</p>
<p>When I went to college, I just read all of the degree requirements and planned courses accordingly.</p>
<p>I could see it being more difficult if a lot of the required courses are not offered every semester, or if the student is undecided between several majors with a lot of non-overlapping requirements, but that still should not be an impossible problem to solve on one’s own.</p>
<p>No, don’t attend. I really cannot imagine a situation in which that would be okay, honestly.</p>
<p>However, you could work privately with your son to figure things out in terms of courses and credits needed, and what he should be taking or wants to take this fall.</p>
<p>Honestly, none of my three kids really depended on advising and for the first couple of years I often served as a sounding board for course selection- they enjoyed my enthusiasm for the classes.</p>
<p>When I went to college, I had one required meeting with an advisor in my whole four years there. The rest of the requirements I figured out from the course registration & degree requirements. However… last spring I was looking at the graduation requirements at some of my D’s potential colleges, and some of them are almost impossible to understand. Was trying to work through with D what the requirements would be in her major at 3 different colleges. Two were pretty straightforward, but one was just byzantine. No way could it have been understood without help from an advisor. So… while I do think it is very unusual at the college level, I also think you may have to do this. And it could hurt him if he is expecting this prof to write any recommendations for him – otherwise probably does not make a difference.</p>
<p>I would insist that your son do his own analysis (you can help if needed) of this to take in to the advisor, though. If the school does not provide any tools for this (some do), have him make a spreadsheet of the requirements, then a column for each one where he documents what course fulfills the requirement. Obviously blanks are courses he has yet to take. And flag any questions he has about whether a given course does fulfill the requirement.</p>