Parent Faux Pas at Move-In

<p>It’s interesting to hear how involved some parents are with move-in. Freshman year, I had a short vacation with my mom and sister before move-in where they helped me bring in some boxes and do some minor set-up. The past two years, they dropped me off at a hotel or tribal casino and I have taken a shuttle to the airport.</p>

<p>FERPA waivers are really about trust. I’m very open about my grades when talking to my parents and have done quite well GPA-wise, so I don’t sign any waivers. If a student had a history of needing parent intervention, then the waivers might be a good idea for their family.</p>

<p>How long does it take to set up a room anyway? With just 2 of us working, it took maybe 1.5 hour tops for D and closer to 2 hours for S (his was harder since the roommate was setting up at the same time and we were stepping over one another). Both times, the only thing the kids needed to do afterwards was connect computers to the Internet and printers to computers. Everything else - done and put away. I don’t know what would really take longer!</p>

<p>It depends. If you are putting together IKEA furniture or assembling floor lamps, a lot longer than if you are not. Also, if there is a common room to furnish, it takes longer. And it depends on what the school provides in terms of furniture, etc. Some schools all you really have to do is make the bed, hook up your computer and unpack. Other schools you need to buy some things and assemble, etc.</p>

<p>And dig your lovely black and white sheets out of the garbage bag and remake your bed…</p>

<p>My parents flew across the country with me, a trunk, and two suitcases, which they helped me carry upstairs to my dorm room. I think they greeted a few other parents, then hugged me goodbye and that was it. They then went off to some local activity and flew home the next day. This was in the days before helicopter parents were invented, so there was no orientation for the parents, just the students.</p>

<p>I hope I can be as cool with my own kids. My oldest is a junior in high school, so I have some time to improve, but when I dropped my son off at camp last summer, I made the horrible mistake of making his bed and unpacking his duffel bag. He has forgiven me, but after reading this hilarious thread, I see I still have things to work on.</p>

<p>I confess I still don’t get assembling furniture in dorm rooms. It seriously would never have occurred to me in a million years that I should expect there to be enough extra space in a dorm room that it would make sense to bring a sofa, chair, or bookcase! </p>

<p>Schools don’t furnish common rooms in dorms? There’s no furniture?</p>

<p>Depends on the school and the dorm. There can be a mini-suite where there’s a shared but unfurnished common room. The desk chair might be incredibly uncomfortable, or the student might need more back or lumbar support. The room might not have built-in bookcases. Sofas can fit under lofted beds. </p>

<p>Since you can often (always?) see the dorm room layout and dimensions online before move-in, you’ve got a sense of the size of the room beforehand. </p>

<p>We made D1’s bed, and left the rest of the unpacking to her. I’ve got no idea how long it took her, or even if she ever finished. :)</p>

<p>My son is in a suite with six guys. There are five bedrooms (one is a double). There is a bed, desk, and chair for each kid, but no furniture of any kind in the common room. This is pretty much the way it is for all the rooms at the college, so everybody needs to get some kind of furniture for the common room.</p>

<p>Wow. S is in a suite with a common room, but the common room has some sofas and chairs already - nothing glamorous, but enough to sit down and hang out. For $55K, I think they oughta furnish the common room! Wouldn’t being expected to furnish that room wind up being a hardship for kids on fin aid? Not everyone can afford to trot to IKEA and buy a couple of sofas.</p>

<p>There are much cheaper ways to furnish the common room, if you’re not too picky.</p>

<p>I have thoroughly enjoyed this thread! D goes to school thousands of miles away and flies by herself, while I am getting the things that don’t go with her on the plane shipped. Last year, one set of parents helped set up the room (triple) and left. This year, her roommate’s mom and another relative came with and set about cleaning, setting up, making purchases and my D was overwhelmed. They stayed for several days. It delayed the girl-bonding time and was awkward because the mom did not want my D to help pay for stuff, even though D had a generous allowance for kitchen items, decor etc. She felt left out of the decisions. It was a relief when the relatives all left.</p>

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<p>I don’t know; I’ve only been to IKEA once in my life and am pretty unimpressed / underwhelmed by it. But I can definitely see how that could cause a problem if Billy Big-Spender and Frankie Financial-Aid have to go in on furnishing a common room, so one would think the colleges would want to avoid that.</p>

<p>If they can’t afford Ikea (which is pretty cheap), they use cast-offs (which is what we did when I was in college–we had a couch with no cushion and no legs–we put it on cinderblocks, and I bought a big piece of foam rubber to use as a cushion). I don’t know what other colleges do–those with traditional dorms don’t have this problem, since there is a single common room for a lot more kids, and those do tend to be furnished.</p>

<p>most colleges have a “yard sale” type of thing where discarded items from previous dorm residents are sold</p>

<p>Yeah, but with the proliferation of bed bugs I have read it is best to steer away from any “softscape” type items like upholstered furniture.</p>

<p>We have a relative who calls Ikea “Scandinavian Design Home Depot”…I agree.</p>

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<p>I get that for apartment living, but it still doesn’t seem right to me that a kid moves into a dorm and has to scrounge for furniture. That’s the whole POINT of a dorm, IMO - the college has done the set-up and provided the basics, you bring your personal belongings. That’s the whole differentiator between that and an apartment!</p>

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<p>I agree. Additionally, when my brother was in college and had an apt. my parents thought it would be easiest for him to rent his furniture (he was not within driving distance). He ended up with a couch that had a needle in it! He found the needle by accident after a short time of having it in his apartment. He was just so lucky that he was not stuck by a dirty needle it prior to finding it!</p>

<p>At an orientation meeting which discussed the health/pharmacy services available on campus one parent asked what the co-pay was for filling a medical marijuana prescription. After a very noticeable eye roll, the presenter informed the parent that the campus followed Federal law on this issue. So, no filling of a medical marijuana prescription and if student was caught with this ‘product’ the published disciplinary action would be taken.</p>

<p>I could help but get the feeling this particular parent had planned on buzzing on down to the pharmacy after the end of the meeting to obtain said prescription and was now a bit befuddled since they didn’t have a plan B.</p>

<p>You shouldn’t have to furnish a common room area in a dorm, but I’m sure many (parents especially or only in some cases) find accommodations lacking in aesthetics and easy to remedy for a very small price (and a boost to their ego).
I will say my mom hated my dorm room (you could see it on her face) but I loved every inch of it as being MINE totally to decorate and do with as I pleased. I would have been very upset if she had started imposing her taste on my new digs no matter how poorly she thought of them. To her credit, she made my bed for me (that one last fabulous parental gesture of love) and left me to my own devices (and bit her tongue as to my decorating techniques…)</p>