My daughter has been so focused on the aesthetics of a campus and her top 2 choices, even though she got in, are not options due to cost and no merit. Any suggestions on how I motivate her to look at the other 6 schools she got accepted to as colleges she may want to attend?
Have her start following the other schools on social media, join admitted students boards, start a deeper dive on courses for her major, look into the clubs, etc…
Hopefully she can get excited about at least one of the other affordable options.
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What are the positive traits that made her apply to those other schools. Focus on those.
Also, she may need some time to process that the other two schools have to not be considered. Give her time. She doesn’t have to make a matriculation decision until May 1. Maybe just don’t talk about college for a few weeks…and let her decide what to do and when.
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She fell in love with the campuses, how pretty they are!
And you’re right, I need to back off a bit probably. I just worry that the next 3 months will fly by and she’ll be no nearer a decision on April 30th. I was hoping for accepted student days but I don’t forsee those happening
Check for online accepted student things. Many schools are having those. But maybe wait a couple of weeks…give her some time.
Another suggestion someone posted here a while ago…if you want to talk about colleges…choose a limited amount of time on a certain day. Like start off with 15 minutes on Sunday at 4:00. That’s it. Then just talk. Try to let her do most of the talking. Ask questions but carefully. When the time is up…done. But let her know you will talk to her at other times if she wants to.
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Give her a little time to mourn. Even if schools aren’t having official admitted student days, post on the parent college FB pages and ask if anyone has a student in her major who is willing to give you guys a personal tour. I’ve found many parents will “offer up” their students who love giving tours. Spend time at the possible top 2 or 3, walk through town, go to the bookstore, go out to eat, etc.; let her “try on” the schools and see how they fit. This may take a little more time than a basic college run tour. Have her join the student pages; usually they create snapchat groups. Talking to other students will probably help. Good luck!
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DD’19 had to shift her mindset over the course of senior year when it became apparent there was one viable option, and it was one she didn’t want. She had preconceived notions because it was semi local and many from our HS attend. (Luckily, though, it did meet her aesthetic requirements.)
Visits helped (not sure if you can), especially meeting with professors. The FB group for admitted students showed her how diverse the class would be. Snapchat groups were good and bad, one devolved into not-so-nice stuff so she left it. Talking to her aunt, an alumni, seemed to be a major turning point. Reading through the major course descriptions in the catalog got her excited.
It was a slow process and I felt bad about the struggle, but had to hold the line on finances.
Since cost is a factor for you, we also talked about how big loans would cripple the first decade or more of her life out of school, and that the shallow, pretty things that drew her to more expensive schools weren’t worth hocking her future life.
She loves her school now!
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Is there an alumni group in your area? Maybe reach out to see if anyone can connect with her or let her know of any socially distanced or zoom events they may be having. Also the admissions office can connect her with a current student with similar interests in either academics or clubs.
If cost is an issue for four years of attendance, look into transfer opportunities if you can justify two years cost of attendance. I wish you the best!
Thanks for all the suggestions…my daughter made her choice and it ended up being the least expensive choice! We did another visit, she loved the campus and then connected with students on the class of 2025 fb page and found roommates. She is so excited to go in August!
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Thank you so much for circling back to let us know. So happy for your D!