OP, another idea is for you to take a gap year and work full-time, live at home, and save up as much as you can for future college expenses. Then, after one year, apply to colleges as incoming freshmen.
If you do that, do NOT take classes at any college, even community college, during that time! You won’t be considered incoming freshman anymore and will lose your chance at the biggest merit opportunities.
It’s only one year! I had to a take a year off from college, midway through, because I ran out of money. I lived with my parents, worked full-time at a local factory, then went back and finished my senior year and graduated.
The year went by fast.
In your case, your best bet is to go ahead and take the year off now, rather than later, so you can be competitive for merit scholarships.
@BeeDAre Another problem is I don’t know if that 5k is certain at all. I tried to get her to clarify and I never got an answer. She told me she’d tell me when I found what colleges I wanted to go to. I tried telling her that’s not how it works but it fell on deaf ears.
I’d be looking at 3-5 gap years to be honest if I go that route. I’m skeptical she’s even going to give me anything now.
Have you talked to your uncles who “worked their way through college”? Might they have some insight of current college issues, more than she? Any chance they went on the GI Bill or otherwise had significant help she wasn’t aware of?
I would suggest you look into a field related to what you would want to study in college, and try to start there in some way, even if it is in a mail room or a go-fer. Some people can’t go to college until they have a job and have tuition benefits.
I think one of the biggest downsides of CC is that there is a significant skew towards parents who have enough money to send their child to a selection of colleges, and have the mindset to do so. Yes, there are people who worry that their child can’t afford a particular college, but in your case, it sounds like if you have zero parent buy-in, you can’t even go to a community college.
Kudos on getting over your social anxiety disorder. I’m not sure what’s going on with your mom, but if you can recognize her behavior is not standard, hopefully you can move beyond it and realize that perhaps she can’t help her behavior, that is, she can’t help herself, so it is difficult for her to help you at this time.
@BurgerMan1 , I’d go ahead and choose some colleges to apply to, and show them to your Mom. Tell her why you want to go to those schools, what you want to study and why.
If you can get your uncles’ help - or anyone else who has been to college recently, or knows about the current college process and job prospects after college - in talking with her on your behalf, that may help her see things your way.
I’m tagging @CaliCash to look at this thread. She had some issues with unrealistic expectations from parents with regard to college, and while the circumstances were different, maybe she could give some guidance on how to bring reality into focus on the parent side of things.
@codemachine My class rank is like top 14% and my EC’s are pretty weak as well. Parents working all the time plus social anxiety=no transportation to anything.
Again, at least look at Americorps. Pre-tax, doing it for 2 years would give you more than $10,000 towards school. Plus, if you want to make the “I’m independent” argument, living away from home would help a bit.
Have you considered trying to get a full time job at a college as your gap year? IU gives a discount of about $1200 a semester towards tuition.
Do you have any experience with kids? One of my D’s acquaintances worked as a nanny. Pay is surprisingly good and she had free room and board. She got weekends off and worked almost every weekend judging the high school EC she’d participated in. She did this for 2 years and had enough $ for first 2 years. During those, she figured out how to pay for the rest.
Oh yeah, that’s right. Doesn’t it work like if you join a branch of the military they will cover most of your college tuition? I also think this goes for teaching in an urban school district and working for government agencies (CIA, FBI, etc.).
@codemachine is correct, I think- on a 1.5 year payback per 1 year financed, if you are a US citizen majoring in Math, I recall seeing scholarship opportunities. IPFW and Alabama (an maybe others) leave a shortfall of about $15,000, if you include room & board, health insurance, books, and incidentals. Summer + term-time employment could net $5,000; loans start at $5,500. This leaves a $5,000 gap which could be covered by small scholarships ($500 - $2000) the first year; plus help from his mom.
Merit scholarships; service scholarships; or counting on help from Mom will get great solutions. I am sure she will come through.
Also, Louisiana Tech would be automatic tuition, & fees. Transportation, incidentals, and books would be another $6,000 or so. This could be doable with work and/or loans. If Mom comes through, that would be gravy. So, you do have an alternative, even if you consider it a backup plan.
Look at the NSA for scholarship programs, if you’re interested in math. They’re the largest employer of mathematicians (and they hire lots of CS people too).
@SlackerMomMD I looked at the Stokes Scholarship and it says it’s interested primarily in minorities and those studying CS and Engineering. I am a majority and don’t want to study CS or engineering.
Are there other scholarships? I tried looking but couldn’t find any.
Edit: I found the SMART program. Is that the one you referring to?
Yeah, I was thinking of the SMART scholarship because Stokes, sadly, didn’t quite fit you. I don’t know if the SMART program will provide all the funding you need. The NSA also has decent summer work for undergrads.
I honestly thought they offered more scholarships to other majors, math, foreign languages, linguistics, etc. than just engineering and CS. A bit disappointing
@codemachine although this family may not have a lot of money for college, this family is not low income. Questbridge is for low income. This family 80k is well above what most Questbridge families have.
@SlackerMomMD SMART looks like it requires you to already be enrolled in a university when you apply. Sadly this looks like I can’t do this (to pay for schooling, at least) because I’m either going to a place with a good scholarship or not going to college at all. There’s a good chance I won’t be accepted to SMART, so if I go to an expensive university and get denied I’ll be in a bad position.
Sorry it turned out to be a dead end. But keep looking. You don’t have to just settle for CC or expensive college. There’s a lot in between. Just don’t settle for engineering if you want to study math (or physics). Most people don’t know math so they don’t realize how different engineering is from math. Good luck.