My parents mean well and I understand that but with ACTs and all that we made a subtle agreement for me to study everyday for at least 30 to 60 minutes. As a highschool student who gets around 5 hours of homework every night, adding this on is my lowest priority and hard to get done. So whenever the topic comes up, they just bring up the passive aggressive “oh she’s no studying everyday” and maybe I just need to like get my stuff together…BUT I ALSO WANT TO PASS MY CLASSES. So my dads gave me the typical spiel “you’re this close to being done with highschool. Just pull through”. But none of that motivated me, it just made me angry at them and feel like a total failure which results in me not wanting to do anything. So how do I deal with this studying problem and how do I deal with parental pressure
That sounds crazy. My kid did a prep program and he would work like more like 2-3 hours a week in big blocks. Tell him you’ll do 2 hours every Sunday afternoon. You can probably fit 2 timed sections with corrections into that time block. Maybe see if you can fit one other timed section with corrections in during the week. I think there is more advanage to doing it in blocks of time and doing full timed sections.
First, your homework should not be taking five hours. That’s either a gross over-exaggeration, or you’re taking classes that are much harder than you can mentally handle. Either way, not doing all of your homework shouldn’t have that big of an effect on your final grade if you’re putting in effort while you’re in class. If doing/not doing your homework is the make or break of you passing or not, that’s a huge problem, especially this late in the year. ACT prep should be something that takes priority over your homework, not under it, since it’s something that is short term. I studied on most weekdays for about 30 minutes for a couple of months and I got a 36 on my first time taking it, despite taking six AP classes that all required homework, and many extracurriculars that had rehearsals and practices and such. For everything in your original comment except for the parental pressure, your only solution is to create better priorities for yourself and put the ACT higher on your list, even if it means getting less sleep per night (which is something really inevitable in high school). For your parents, I think the best solution is to have a conversation with them about how they’re making you feel more stressed out than you already are
Hi there. Honestly, I am in the same situation and feel.
A lot of times I put off studying for the SAT/ACT for maintaining my grades in classes. One thing that I have found helpful is to do one ACT/SAT daily problem on the way to the bus or while eating my breakfast in the morning. It is an easy way to integrate some practice without too much time in a busy day. Also, in your daily schedule, take some time for mental health and relaxation too- it is important to be able to maximize the productivity during all the time you are working.
As for the parental situation, I am going through the same one. Whenever I talk to them, they continue to stress how important the scores are even though I have my GPA to worry about too. I call it a “burnout” (when one feels unmotivated). I think about the big picture and address it to my parents. Tell them about your “burnout”. Tell them about mental health. Tell them how you really feel about the work. I know that sometimes it is seen as a first world problem, but the stress of high school is causing depression and anxiety among students. In the long run, your standardized test are not the only statistic that colleges are looking at. And heck, the college you go to DOES NOT define who and how successful you will be. (I suggest the book “Where You Go is Not Who You Will Be”- it gives you a nice perspective on life and college. ) Know that your mental and physical health is FAR more important than any number of a sheet of paper or any college that cannot see you for who you are behind the scores.
I hope this helps and good luck! :)>-
OP: I have to confess that I also pushed my kid regarding the SAT/ACT stuff too… and it was not helpful to her. At all. She attended a rigorous prep school, and had the same amount of homework that you do. She was also overscheduled with sports, music etc. and working very hard. And I had bought into some of the “noise” here on this forum from panicked parents and kids who were obsessing about the possibility of not getting into any great colleges because things are so competitive these days, etc. etc.
A couple of things really helped me get a more reasonable point of view: I attended a presentation by someone who was a college Dean of Admissions for many years and is now a consultant; and I really learned a lot – like how to calm down! LOL Seriously, he has a great blog and website, and there is a ton of really great info and guidance there. Check it out and have your parents read it, too. It’s called BestCollegeFit.com .
I also had a talk with my kid’s advisor and with her college counselor at school. If there is someone at your school in a similar position, perhaps they can help you and even advocate for you a bit. In the end, I really listened to my daughter when she told me how stressed out she was feeling. I could hear it in her voice, and it worried me. There is nothing more important than your wellbeing and health, both physical and mental. My kid was registered to take the SAT/ACT for the second time because her scores could have been better – and then I told her to go ahead and blow off those re-tests. Her scores were perfectly OK the way they were… and she would go to college, somewhere, I was sure! She and I both felt very relieved and more in control of things after making that choice to ditch the tests. And in the end, she wound up attending the college she liked best. Hugs to you – it’s a difficult time, and it’s easy for parents to get swept up in the college admissions “panic”.