<p>Honestly, I just don't think the "so and so is famous and they didn't go to Harvard" rings true. The bum at the end of the street and most of the guys and gals in jail didn't go to Harvard either. The reality is, there are people for whom where they go to school (or going to school at all) makes no difference-- and then there are people for whom the 'right' school makes a difference. The question is...how do you make the 3rd choice or the less prestigious school the 'right school' in the eyes of a child who has been innoculated with thinking otherwise for 5 years or more.</p>
<p>Well, you don't. The kid is not an idiot or they would not have been applying to those schools to begin with. THey are not going to wake up the next morning and say, "You bet, I am going to be just as happy and successful going to 'random college' as I would be if I had been accepted to 'prestigious university." </p>
<p>Sorry, but if you got this far with your child and the message that they have gotten is Ivy or Bust than YOU have blown it. No one here can make you feel any better for it. YOU made a mistake as a parent. It is time to FESS UP!!!!</p>
<p>You tell your child this. "I made a mistake as your parent. Everyone makes mistakes and this was a big one. I think I forgot all along in this process to tell you that I have enough confidence in who you are to know that there are many, many schools which would help you grow into a fantastic adult. I made this mistake and I am sorry."</p>
<p>Then you give your child a hug, you ask for their forgiveness.</p>
<p>They didn't make the mistake, you did. Any suggestion otherwise is a further dishonesty.</p>
<p>MANY of us have children whom we could have played the 'IVY OR BUST' card with. MANY of us could have approached this as a process to enhance our own sense of self. MANY of us could have tried to live through their child instead of letting the child have the life. BUT...MANY of US did not. </p>
<p>So, if you did and it didn't work out- be the adult, be the parent, take the blame and then ask for forgiveness. And then, forget about placating with silly blah blah, take the time to honestly look at the options and try to love at least one of them.</p>
<p>Sorry to be harsh, but I hate the thought of all these kids feeling like THEY did something wrong.</p>