<p>Hello everyone, I am having a huge dilemma and would really, really appreciate some advice! I will write a lot so please bear with me lol. I wanted to go to Fordham University in NYC for a long time and it was my first choice. I live in Ohio and my parents paid the acceptance fee for OSU and would not pay the acceptance fee for Fordham back in May. At the time I didn't have a job and there was no way that I could have paid the acceptance fee, therefore I can't attend this fall. Since that, I have been falling deeper and deeper into a depression because I feel like they are not listening to me and are making one of the biggest decisions of my life for me. OSU is a good school for some people, but I could never go there, I absolutely hate it. I don't know what to do. I am thinking of deffering a year, and then going to Fordham next year but I am so scared. There is another aspect of this whole issue as well. Around a year ago, we went to NYC on vacation, and I went into an open call for a modeling agency (IMG models) and an agent there told me I had a lot of potential and she wanted to sign me, but my mom told her I still had a year left of high school. My mom thought I would forget about it and did not take the whole thing seriously at all. She thinks modeling is a whore's job quite frankly. She only took me because I begged her and my dad wasn't with us. We (the agent and myself) have recently been emailing and we both feel since that I am done with school, it is the perfect time to pursue this career. I know it sounds like a pipe dream, but I already have a huge agency willing to sign me, and that is the hardest part of becoming a model. I have researched this career and know every single aspect of it and I truly believe I could be a successful fashion/runway model. That is why I think it would be a good idea to defer a year and move to NYC, where I would live in a place called a model apartment, funded by IMG. I just turned 18 two days ago and I feel as though I am young and should pursue this because life is short, right? However my parents are immigrants from Somalia and are incredibly conservative and call modeling prostitution basically. I obviously disagree and think it is an incredible opportunity to travel the world, save a lot of money for college, and do something not many girls get to experience. I have thought about modeling and dreamed about doing this for such a long time and isn't that what life is all about, pursuing dreams? I don't want any regrets and there is a very small window to get into modeling, since it is all about age. My parents told me if I do this, they will never speak to me again. Can you please give me some advice on how to deal with this whole situation?</p>
<p>If you are 18 or older, then you are free to pursue the modeling without your parents permission. Just be prepared for them to do what they say they will do. Which is more important to you? Having your parents in your life or having the modelling career?</p>
<p>If you do the modelling career and they hold up their end of the bargain and don’t talk to you forever (or a long time, anyway) then you may need to wait until you are 24 to go to college, that is when you can fill out financial aid papers without your parents information.</p>
<p>It is up to you to decide what is best for you, knowing that you don’t have control over how your parents will react. Only you can decide what you can or can’t live with, no one else can tell you. You will have to decide on the information you have been given.</p>
<p>If you are 18 you can do as you wish. Don’t expect your parents to pay for Fordham.</p>
<p>To bajamm, that is probably the big dilemma. I know that if I don’t pursue my dreams because of my parents I will resent them. I just wish they unconditionally loved me. To Erin’s Dad, I always had intentions of paying for everything myself. That is a big reason why I want to defer as well, to save up some money for college so I am not completely overwhelmed.</p>
<p>Yes you can do what you want…but proceed with caution…ask for a copy of the contract they want you to sign…before anything…and FYI…no repeat no agency signs without proper photos first…many many girls have the height, body, looks etc etc…but it’s all about how they photograph…my Mom was in this biz for years and let me tell you…it is not easy and very very cutthroat…proceed with Caution…do your homework first and don’t believe everything you are told by agency reps…all you represent to them is their paycheck and unless you are one of the 3% that succeed…they will be looking for the next top model as soon as your back is turned…don’t throw away an education…
Think this through…</p>
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<p>There is a HUGE cost difference between instate tuition/room/board at Ohio State and the costs of attending Fordham at private school costs in NYC. WHO did you think was going to pay those bills? Did it dawn on you that your parents might not have the cash flow or resources to pay for you to attend Fordham? Did you ever discuss finances with your parents?</p>
<p>Certainly, you are free to do whatever you choose. BUT you do need to understand, that for financial aid purposes, you will be required to use your parents’ incomes/assets on any financial aid forms from Fordham (or any other college for that matter). The cost of attending college at Fordham is about $50,000 a year. How do you plan to fund that?</p>
<p>Re: modeling…I will tell you that our daughter (who is mighty darling) was also told she had “potential” as a model by a very well regarded agency. Keep in mind…they say this to a LOT of people. It takes a lot of time, management and tenacity to be a successful and well compensated model. If you think you can do it…fine, then go for it. Don’t be surprised if you spend a fortune on head shots and photos, and it goes no where. That happens with many folks.</p>
<p>The biggest issue I see is that you think you can pay for this all yourself…going to college and/or living in NYC. I can tell you…I live in the northeast and I’m from Ohio also. The cost of living is oppressive in these parts…and I’m not in the city. Be prepared for complete cost shock when you come to look for an apartment.</p>
<p>If you pursue modeling, how are you:</p>
<p>Going to pay your way to NYC
Pay for the head shots and other pictures you need for your portfolio
Pay the rent to live in NYC
Eat, purchase toiletries, have $$ to go to go sees
IF you do not get to do run way or the big money modeling gigs
Pay for Fordham (where is the 200k coming from?)</p>
<p>Apparently, you parents are sending you to the school that they can afford (which is not Fordham)</p>
<p>Why don’t you create a win-win, go to OSU (which is a great school), sign up with a local agency. Perhaps save some money and spend your summer in NYC?</p>
<p>To everyone, thank you for your input. To thumper1, please do not underestimate my preparedness for college. I discussed EVERYTHING with my parents, and finances were at the forefront. I was a very good student in high school and received a very hefty scholarship to fordham and I would have been able to attend without help from my parents. I did not expect them to pay a dime. The main issue is that I did not have the $700 plus available at the time to pay for the acceptance fee. I know fashion modeling from the inside out and IMG does not charge any models of theirs for head shots. I was measured, weighed, and had polaroids taken of me and the contract was right there, ready for me to sign. I wasn’t able to because I was still a high school student at the time in Ohio. I’m sure your daughter is gorgeous, but I doubt she was sitting in the agency with several agents and a contract for her to sign with the agency to become a model for them. I am a smart, level headed girl and would never pursue such a risky career unless I knew I had a shot. Very few girls get a chance to be signed. The agency has offered to pay for my plane ticket to NYC and they would be paying for the apartment that I would be living in with about 5 other models. If an agency is truly reputable, they will NEVER make a model they believe in pay for anything. Did you read everything I wrote? “That is why I think it would be a good idea to defer a year and move to NYC, where I would live in a place called a model apartment, funded by IMG.”
To sybbie719, they would pay for my transportation to NYC, models at IMG don’t pay for head shots for the portfolio, the agency does. There are model apartments that models live in paid by IMG, they pay for every expense we have until we get steady work as models. I had a scholarship to Fordham. OSU is a great school, I am not arguing that. It is just not for me. I have big dreams for myself, I always have, and I am a strong believer that you become successful by taking some risks. Agencies in Ohio are laughable and not even close to IMG. IMG represenets the biggest supermodels in the world (Gisele, Heidi Klum, Kate Moss). They know how to breed successful models, which is what I want for myself. I feel as though if I went to OSU I would hate it and not be encouraged to do well and what is the point of my parents paying for college if I wouldn’t be doing my best?
I could save money as a model taking a gap year. Also, what does everyone think of gap years? Good idea, bad idea?</p>
<p>Barr, it sounds like you have this all worked out. If you think it will work then try it. I would heartily recommend you have at least three months of living expense money saved before you go to NYC. If this agency was ready to sign you, and you think you have the bases covered financially in the interim, you are over 18 and can do what you want to do.</p>
<p>Is it possible that OSU would allow you to defer your enrollment for a year…with your scholarship money? That would give you a safety net in case you change your mind or things don’t work out.</p>
<p>I’m guessing you had decent scholarship money at OSU too.</p>
<p>Gap years can be good ideas for most students. </p>
<p>You actually don’t “know fashion modeling from the inside out” because you haven’t lived it from the inside yet. You may have heard/read stories about how the business affected other people but the stories haven’t been written yet on how it has affected you. </p>
<p>You already have everything all planned out. Why are you looking for advice from strangers online? Be more specific about what kind of advice you’re looking for since you already slammed some well-meaning people on here who tried to give some good advice. Are you just looking for help with the actual words to use to break the news to your parents about your plans?</p>
<p>If you are taking a gap year, you need to ask if you will still have your scholarships, when you do decide to attend.</p>
<p>To thumper1, I did wonder about that, but I think I will defer a year from Fordham so I can go there in a year’s time. Yea I did, but it was irrevelent to me because I would never want to go there 
Thank you for your input!
To woody35, I’ve heard that from most people I’ve asked but the idea of a gap year still scares me sometimes. When I say that, I mean that I’ve researched it to the extent that I know a lot about it. I really don’t have everything planned out, I’m still trying to figure out how this will affect my relationship with my parents and so many other things. I like to hear other people’s input, especially adults that are parents, that’s why I posted here. Basically I wanted to know what people think about taking gap years after high school, what things I would need to keep in mind if I were to take a gap year, and if anyone had any ideas of ways I could compromise with my parents, etc. You obviously misinterpreted me, because I didn’t slam ANYONE. I simply clarified myself and cleared up any misunderstandings, I’m sorry you couldn’t interpret that from my writing. Yes, that would be useful as well.
Thanks sybbie, I will be sure to ask them that!</p>
<p>You will need to contact Fordham to see if your admissions offer and scholarship are still available to you. You did not make a decision to attend Fordham by May 1 and actually deposited elsewhere. You may not even have Fordham as an option…call them to find out.</p>
<p>Students take gap years for almost any reason. The best plan would be to defer your current acceptance for a year. Otherwise you will be applying all over again.</p>
<p>OTOH, you may actually find a different set of colleges to apply to.</p>
<p>Going to Fordham is probably at least $50,000-$60,000 a year (including rent in New York City)</p>
<p>Even if your parents have significant money, they may have concluded that Fordham is not worth that kind of money, when you can go to Ohio State (at presumably in-state tuition).</p>
<p>Also, making a living as a model is like making a living as an actress. Very unlikely. </p>
<p>If you can’t even afford the initial fees to attend Fordham, how would you possibly afford to pay the tuition and living expenses?.</p>
<p>You can try and become a model AFTER you graduate from Ohio State.</p>
<p>You say you have an agency ready to sign you, but what exactly does that mean?</p>
<p>How many others have they signed, and how many of those make a living at modeling.</p>
<p>You act like your problem is unique, but I would bet that there are thousands of kids on CC who would prefer to go to a private college in New York City instead of their flagship state university in some non-sexy place. But they do what they can afford to do. </p>
<p>If you really want to try the modelling thing, I would say you should move to NYC, get a job waiting tables, or working part time as a receptionist, find some girlfriend who is willing to let you flop down on her coach in exchange for some rent money, or share an apartment with 3 other girls, and try to make you way in that industry. You can attend community college while in New York, and then transfer to a 4 year college if you don’t make any progress in trying to be a model. Ohio State would probably take you as a transfer student.
I would bet that this whole modelling thing is little more than a scam though, but you would have to investigate further.</p>
<p>Florida, the OP indicated that she had a very very excellent scholarship to Fordham and her parents would not have been paying for her to attend. In addition, she has indicated that the modeling agency will fly her out there, provide her with housing with other models, and pay for her photos. </p>
<p>To the OP…there are NO free rides. If this modeling agency is giving you many “freebies” to entice you to sign on with them, it is highly likely they will be taking a HUGE commission from any jobs they get for you for quite some time. I would read their contract VERY carefully…in fact, I would have a lawyer read it carefully before you sign. You want to be sure YOU are protected if you decide to leave…and that you are protected somehow if they decide to terminate you (e.g. how much notice do they have to give you before they ask you to move out of their subsidized housing?). </p>
<p>I have to say…if it sounds too good to be true…it probably IS too good to be true. Don’t get taken…be very careful.</p>
<p>And do see about getting a deferral from OSU…</p>
<p>barr27, if you were my daughter, I’d accept the gap year idea since it sounds like you don’t want to attend OSU and could get full scholarships elsewhere, I would ask you to try to get a deferral from OSU in the meantime while we research the modeling career, I would hire a lawyer to review the contract before you signed it (especially making sure you could walk away at any time without penalty), and I would travel with you to NY to see the living arrangements and have you talk to the other girls who have signed on and have been with the agency for a while to get the ‘inside scoop.’ I would also be searching for info on this agency from every source I could find to make sure they live up to their promises. Then I would look for family and friends who live nearby so you have a support system locally because if anything goes wrong, I won’t be there to help - and unlike college, you will have no local infrastructure looking out for you. </p>
<p>Without this kind of ‘due diligence,’ I’d be very uncomfortable sending my 18 year old off to do modeling. Unlike your parents, I would not threaten to cut you off - because if this is a terrible mistake, I want you to be able to call me and come home.</p>
<p>Once you’re 18 your parents cannot force you to go anywhere. Well, except out of their house, they have that right when you’re 18.
But back on the topic:
You can go to any school or any modeling agency that you can pay for. But you cannot make parents pay for your choices. You see, that’s the difference about being 18. Before that, as legal adults and parents they must pay for you. At 18, you are considered a legal adult. You can make your choices at 18; but your parents are over 18 too. They can make their own choices.</p>
<p>I am assuming you have checked out the agency with other agencies, and BBB and other sources to know they are legitimate, right? Merely holding a casting call does not prove that. Plenty of girls are lured by this and kidnapped and such.</p>
<p>There is definitely a time limit on being young and beautiful, now is the time to pursue this particular dream. I say go for it… but try to create as many safety nets as you can, just in case. We parents have lived long enough to know that not every dream succeeds and catastrophe can strike regardless of our preparedness. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try it, just remember that if your parents cut you out of their lives (for a while) you’ll need some back up plans. A college acceptance waiting for you at the end of a trial modeling year isn’t a bad idea, if things work out in NYC then you can withdraw from OSU. I do believe that the Fordham acceptance is probably gone, but it doesn’t hurt to check. If there is no way that you’ll ever be persuaded to attend OSU then try the modeling and reapply to colleges later. </p>
<p>When I was 18 I defied my parents’ wishes, dropped out of college and sold my car to go to Europe by myself for a year. This was in 1971, there weren’t any cell phones, internet or other modern communication devices. It was wild, exciting, scary and wonderful!!! They forgave me before the year was out and I had an unbelievably fabulous experience. Not all of it was fun, there were some terrifying moments, but being young and resourceful usually wins the day.</p>
<p>Good luck!</p>
<p>younghoss is right, make doubly sure that this is a reputable, legitimate agency.</p>
<p>Thumper1, thanks I didn’t even take that into account, I just sort of assumed that they would be readily available in a year’s time! 
That is true that I would have options to apply to other schools, but I would rather avoid the whole application process again lol.
floridadad55 I feel like you didn’t read all I wrote!
Thumper1, you are totally right there aren’t, the agency would be taking 20% of everything I would make, which is standard. They pay everything upfront and deduct from my earnings when I do make them. It’s a pretty high pressure situation because if I don’t make money I end up in debt 
I was thinking of getting a lawyer but they’re so expensive! The contract is a 1 year contract and to my knowledge, if I don’t make a certain amount of money in that period of time, my contract would not be renewed. I have a question, can I have a defferal to two schools or would I have to choose between Fordham and OSU?</p>