Parent's are mad that I got accepted. Has this happened to you? Advice? Thanks!

Prep School Admissions
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<p>I got into a boarding school, one of the HADES, but my parents are (a little more than) hesitant to let me attend. </p>

<p>FA isn't a problem, but they have a problem with me attending.*
I'm pretty sure they're bitter because I was rejected at another HADES school; I'm not sure they really understand how many excellent applicants there are out there.</p>

<p>However, they keep blackmailing me with not letting me attend, and they've been yelling at me ever since the acceptance letter, for reasons I don't understand, and ignore me when I ask them why. They tell me about how much of a failure I am. My mom berated me for not saying anything nice to her within thirty seconds of opening my letter. She was glaring at me the whole time when I opened it...I would have thanked her for letting me apply and helping me mail my app+driving me to interviews, but I was kind of scared at the time by her attitude. Should I have expressed gratitude right when I opened the acceptance letter?</p>

<p>I'm also being yelled at for character flaws because of little incidents like ^^aforementioned, like forgetting to change toilet paper rolls right when they run out, or showering for a minute too long (I take 5 minute showers....)</p>

<p>Because of all this, I'm perplexed beyond expression. I try my hardest to not say anything, but sometimes tears come out when they yell, as hard as I try to suppress them. I get yelled at even more, so I try my hardest not to cry as well.
On my part, I've taken up a huge number of unpleasant household chores voluntarily, like washing dishes every breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and cleaning the house. I vacuumed the carpets in the whole house and took out the garbage, and cleaned out our whole attic. I just want my parents to not be mad at me anymore.</p>

<p>I'm so confused. They were the ones who introduced the idea of boarding schools to me in mid-December last year. Why are they getting so....I don't even know how to describe it...It's so bizarre.</p>

<p>Parents, please tell me what you think. Any advice? How can I convince them to let me go to aforementioned HADES? And fellow applicants, has this happened to you? Oh, and guys, I don't really care if you're snarky. I've built up a very thick skin over the years and I'm used to it. I just want you all to be as blunt, forward, direct, and honest as possible. Thanks so much for your time and effort!</p>

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<p>I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. Could it be that they’re mad that you didn’t make it in to their top choice for you? As a parent, I can understand being disappointed in the school, but I can’t fathom being disappointed in my child!</p>

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<p>@neatoburrito: I think they’re mad because some people they know have children that were accepted, at least that’s what they’ve told me is one of the reasons.</p>

4

<p>I’m sorry that is happening. I would wait for a calm moment and try to have a reasonable discussion about it.</p>

<p>I will say that in our house there was an initial euphoria followed by some very stressful days. I think everyone has lots to think about. As a parent, as happy and excited as I am about this opportunity I am also by turns sad, terrified, and concerned. I have to think for many families this is a very emotional time.</p>

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<p>@bluehaze: </p>

<p>I’m sorry you have to go through this. Do you think they might really be upset about you leaving the nest? Maybe they were okay with the idea of boarding school when it was just a possibility but are now saddened by the reality that you’ll be leaving for school. Is it possible they aren’t aware of how they’re treating you or how upset this is making you? Do please try to talk with them about this.</p>

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<p>not sure if this applies, but i noticed as we got closer to my son’s dearture to boarding school last August our relationship was more and more strained. i was flipping out about little things, had no patience, etc. i think i was subconsciously missing him before he even left. is it possible your parents are reacting to the realization that you may be leaving home soon?</p>

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<p>If they introduced the idea in mid-December - just 30 days before applications were due - you must have worked hard to get your applications done! Congratulations on getting a HADES acceptance. </p>

<p>Now the results come and it sounds like they are highly stressed. There could be a lot of reasons. Somehow it feels like more than just “where you were accepted” because all of the HADES are pretty good. But in the end you can only ask.</p>

<p>Think carefully - are you sure you want to go to boarding school?</p>

<p>If so, one thing to try - make a list of the ten things you like the most about the school where you WERE accepted. Keep it tucked away. When a quiet moment comes, if the issue really is that school’s reputation, you can explain clearly why you want to go there.</p>

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<p>They are scared. </p>

<p>Scared of you leaving home, scared of whether you going away to school is the right decision and scared that the dynamic of your relationship with them is going to change now that you are going to be living away. It’s not your fault or anything you have done, but it is them struggling to come to terms with the fact that you are growing up. It sounds as if you are handling it the best you can, and keep trying to do just that.</p>

<p>Px3</p>

9

<p>Frankly, yours seems like a very odd situation. Are your parents specifically mad that you didn’t get into Allegedly #1 school but only Allegedly #5 school? Because I don’t understand why they would have gotten you to apply to anything but A#1 if that was their thinking…</p>

<p>With our beloved boy, we aimed for the stars with just 2 applications, to what <em>we</em> (including he) thought were the top 2 schools. We ended up on the moon, with 2 waitlists, but that’s just us. </p>

<p>Treading carefully here, I have noticed that certain people I know from certain cultural backgrounds get very intense over the success of their children, and expect nothing less than perfect. Might that be the case for you?</p>

<p>It isn’t quite clear whether you are qualifying for full FA, or your parents don’t need it at all. If it’s the latter, I am afraid you have to accept their decisions whatever they are, even if they are being complete jerks. If you have FA they could still probably stop you, but you have some leverage.</p>

<p>It may, of course, be some of the parental emotions that other posters have indicated. But I’m sure that if you were our kid, we would be jumping for joy (even as we sweated the financial implications).</p>