@MAmomto4 any chance that you could add a ADU to your current house? Folks around here are more and more considering that option rather than moving.
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See if she can qualify for a rehab place that does intensive rehab (multiple times/day) to help her get back to full functioning asap. There is at least one such place in our state.
If there is space on your property, building another 1st floor bedroom with a bath may get you what is needed sooner than a unicorn house.
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It sounds like rehab followed by short term assisted living might get her back home in better shape, to remove the urgency of moving or building. I can see there is a short term problem but looking ahead, a longer term one that needs to be solved.
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I doubt that after surgery at her age, the doctor will not require her to go to rehab after her hospital stage.
I hope so, but she had surgery on her upper spine (a different issueâŠsigh) a year ago. She was in the hospital for 4 days then they discharged her to home. She ended up staying in a hotel near the hospital for another 5 days (the same family friend who is coming this time stayed with her) because she couldnât manage the stairs or our noise yet. The hospital sent a PT to visit her once a day while she was there. It was a kind of âmake your own rehab facilityâ but without insurance support for the facility. 
Was that situation related to COVID?
No, they were just planning to send her home after the hospital stay. They said that is their standard procedure. They recommended she have a PT visit at home daily, but with our house setup & uncertainty about finding a good home-visit PT where we live, we thought the hotel close to the hospital made more sense.
I wonder if you should reach out to the hospital social worker and explain the challenges your mother has at her home.
But to get an admission to a rehab facility, I think you need to have a hospital stay of 3 days and be recommended to be placed in a rehabilitation program. Iâm pretty sure that is a Medicare requirement. At least thatâs what we were told.
When my mom fell over the holidays, we were very upfront that she lives alone and that she could not go home.
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This is good info, thank you!
Leaving my momâs. We got into it this morning. sigh
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when my Dad was hospitalized and they wanted to discharge him to home, still sick, because they didnât have therapy on site, we found out there was a step down unit but family had to ask to be considered. And once we asked, they had to evaluate him and THEN he was put in that for another 4 days. Long enough to get organized at home.
So now, I always say âAre there other choices we arenât aware of here? have you told me all of them?â Always ask.
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Great advice! And push back if you donât like the answer.
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The three day rule is correct. Some hospitals will keep a patient in the ER rather than admit them, and it can mess things up for rehab.
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After my mom had a very major car accident, my older (uninvolved and didnât want to be involved) sister did a hospital visit âfor showâ. They wanted to send mom home or alternatively to a nursing facility (at our expense and at momâs objections, but I guess they thought they could do a transfer over her objections IDK). My younger sister and I both objected to the hospital - my younger sister at the time worked in that city and probably did in person and phone call; I called earlier, and then called again (after younger sister gave me the 411) and talked to the charge nurse and I said âshe needs two people to get out of bed, and cannot go home until she can walk with one assistâ. It needed an administrative MD to âsign offâ - and he came that evening to see mom wearing a tuxedo. But we got the hospital stay extended. I am sure mom totally put on the charm to the MD (with her sweet Swiss accent). I flew home and helped mom one week during her home recovery (taking a week of vacation from work, and leaving two young kids to DH), and younger sister took a week vacation as well to help mom with her home recovery. Older sister did nothing - always an excuse/series of excuses. Her H and older sons could fend for themselves in her absence. All of you on this thread know about siblings that want their say (or act like they are âhelpingâ) but not of any real help.
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Has anyone read this yet? Starting it now.
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I actually couldnât bear to read it. I did however, read most of the comments.
I would be upfront with all involved as well. In order to get into acute rehab (what HImom was describing), she needs to âneedâ two out of three disciplines of OT, PT, and Speech. If she is not independent with all her ADLs (transfers, walking, eating, dressing, etc), there is a way.
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It wasnât nearly as depressing as I thought it would be. The reader comments were interesting.
Wow. The story really gave me a lot to think about. All I can say is, I hope that I am never faced with a similar situation.
That was such a sad, tragic story.