@momofboiler1 A finger toothbrush might be the trick! I think I would have better control and get into his mouth, assuming he doesn’t bite me! 
I am on the hunt for an adult one on Amazon, but mostly I am seeing for babies and dogs!
As long is it fits on your finger – and you don’t use it on the dog first – I think you are good.
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I may have read this here, but I often recall hearing people say their elders’ plan for their sunset years is “not to get sick.” I guess that is a form of denial. I have a friend going through it now and I thank my lucky stars that despite all the awful parts of watching my parents age, at least they let me take over their finances, research doctors and treatment etc etc. They did not really fight me much on anything.
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When I was working we use ‘Toothettes’ for oral care.
Googled ‘Toothettes’ and got a link to this product:https://www.amazon.com/Disposable-Sponge-Tooth-Cleaning-100pcs/dp/B073YQTSFS/ref=asc_df_B073YQTSFS/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=242015000053&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=10297603894679393027&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=1027027&hvtargid=pla-449958520462&psc=1
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My mom’s hospice provided these toothettes for her. They come pre-moistened, I believe.
Such great practical advise here! Nice to have resources of a large and varied group.
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This reminded me, we had several varieties available through my career.
Pre-moistened Lemon-Glycerin swabs:
https://www.amazon.com/applicators-Non-sterile-Medical-Applications-Latex-Free/dp/B07YSQ74SQ/ref=asc_df_B07YSQ74SQ/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=509606954327&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=18296072922795034871&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=1027027&hvtargid=pla-1213581005511&psc=1
And the Toothettes - all were dry sponges but some had an embedded mint flavored baking soda coating.
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Hoping to add some levity here. I got ten voice messages from my 92 year old father yesterday who is in a nursing home, telling me how his phone is broken and he can only see it in Black and White (I have his number blocked because otherwise he rapid calls me in the middle of the night). The last one actually said it was his computer (he doesn’t have a computer). Then this morning I got a new voice mail from him telling me “nevermind”, it was his TV and it is fine now (I guess he pressed something that made it B&W).
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Oy, @kiddie! Thing that make you laugh instead of crying.
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My SIL sent me a picture of my mom, who thought a blue bingo dauber was roll-on deodorant. 
My 96 year old dad is very sharp, well cared for by his younger wife in their home. I’m really thankful. But the phone message post above did remind me of something my sister and I joke about. Dad will leave phone messages for us if not home. They go on for 4 minutes (max message length on my machine). If he’s not done, he calls and leaves another message. We do love it… but checking voicemail tis not a quick thing.
A small snippet of the life of my SIL (and caring for the in-laws is just a part of the (blank) storm at their house)
BIL/SIL went to the grocery store together. For some reason, my almost 90 y.o., and not very mobile, FIL - who among other things has a bulging disk in his back that is inoperable due to his general health… decides to take the 150lb monster dog (Pitt bull mixed with something much bigger) outside. Of course, he falls and hits his head and is bleeding and the dog is now running loose. And he’s managed to lock himself out of the house. My MIL - if she were even able to process that a ringing doorbell is something you should get up and answer - doesn’t have the strength to walk 5 steps by herself let alone to the door. But of course, she is able to tell BIL to turn around and bend over so she can shove a bottle up his a**. She’s long been verbally abusive. Physically too, though with her general strength, I guess she can’t do but so much damage… She did manage to scratch SIL’s eyeball the other day.
(and yes, ~40 years ago she bought really good LTC insurance anticipating this scenario, so a home would probably be free. The year we set them up in AL/memory care was free, but FIL checked them out after a year claiming he was tired of the food. I suspect he was tired of listening to MIL constantly say she wanted to go home.)
Food for thought. When my mother became/becomes verbally abusive (thankfully not that crude!) I will not tolerate it. Yes I KNOW it’s the disease. However, it is not good for me, and my mental health, to hear it. My needs are at least as important as my mother’s.
When she starts, I tell my mother “I know you can’t help it, but I do not allow anyone to speak to me that way. If you would like me to stay, you will have to stop. Otherwise I will be going now.”
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Power goes out pretty frequently at my parents’; we had a generator installed last year so it kicks on when the power goes out, and back off again when the power comes back on.
I am up at 6am, Mom is already up bc the generator turned on at 2am and she stayed awake — with the lights on, mind you— after that to “wait for the power to come on”. Power is restored about 9am, which we know bc the generator turns itself off but the lights stay on.
Mom, pacing around the picture window : “the neighbors’ lights aren’t on, maybe the power is still off…oh NO the generator must be broken”
DH then spent a bit of time explaining electricity. And then made my Mom breakfast when she still wasn’t sure if “the power is on the whole way”
@Youdon_tsay Does she have a red one, too? Maybe that’s the source of the red you saw on her face last week. Hugs.
When I found it that’s exactly what I thought, but I didn’t realize it was blue, not red.
I had a conversation with my father’s elder lawyer yesterday. My father’s dementia is getting worse (like the bizarre B&W phone incident). He is starting to get paranoid and accusing workers and other patients of doing things to him. The lawyer has confirmed that these accusations are unfounded. He is also rapid dialing and leaving messages for a number of people (not just me) - other family members, the lawyer and his paralegal, etc.
Some of the aftermath of MIL’s passing & dealing with her estate continue. I am so frustrated right now, but some of this will all get settled in a little over a week. Just need to vent for a moment.
MIL’s house is owned by DH & I. MIL’s name is not on the deed. We’re selling the house to Open Door. Closing date is a week from Friday, but we have to have entire house empty & photos of empty rooms uploaded to their portal by 11:59 pm the day before (so on Thursday).
Estate sale people are coming to the house next Monday to take a bunch of things that they’re going to sell in their consignment store. I know that there’ll be plenty of things they won’t take. It’s DH job right now to get a junk hauler to come and pick up the remaining stuff.
Has he lined that up? NO.
SIL is coming into town this weekend to pick up some of the furniture and MIL stuff that is going to her house. She’s declared to DH that she’s not going to MIL’s house at all this weekend.
I told DH, “Fine, but WE still have a lot of things to do and clear out of that house. So I don’t care what your sister chooses to do, but I AM going to be at that house all Saturday and Sunday if I have to. Because ONE of us has to deal with it all. THIS IS THE LAST WEEKEND! We are OUT OF TIME! And I CANNOT take any days off of work next week for this! So FIGURE IT OUT!”
Oh my goodness. One more week. Send some good vibes my way. It’ll be over soon.
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Oh, vent away! You are entitled to let off a bit of steam over this unfair situation. Plus we all learn a bit when reading about potential estate settlement complexities.
Once it is all over, we’ll also need your feedback about selling to Open Door.
I wish we all lived close to you, could drop by to lend a hand.
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Is he able to do this? I am concerned he is not able and the longer he delays, the less likely a junk hauler may be available on dates that you prefer.
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