@dragonmom in my experience (8+ cardioversions for my DH) they don’t use general anesthesia, just a very very quick propofanol or similar. Are you sure he had general?
Also, maybe this is a good opening to discuss different levels of care or living arrangements. Unfortunately, health issues are only going to increase and their ability to live independently is only going to decline, so perhaps this is a good time to think about what to do the next time there is a health issue.
Thanks, wow you are a veteran for the procedure. I’m going on what my mom relayed, which is probably about 75% correct. 
He is doing better today.
We have had “the talk” but as milder dementia works through, they forget what we wrote down last year.
God bless my sisters who are physically closer and bearing the brunt of this.
Thanks to everyone for your good thoughts.
@compmom how’s your mom? And how are you? Thinking of you!
Worst day yet. Moaning constantly (can hear down the hall), crying, miserable. Not making any sense (word salad). Crying about going home (doesn’t have another one). Wants to see her “other daughter”(doesn’t have one). In pain, pale, sick, dizzy, needs constant attention (drink, repositioning, comfort). Not eating. Just gave her morphine w/crackers. At this point I want this to end! Bedbound for two months now.
How long can this misery go on?! Thanks @oldmom4896.
Oy @compmom, sounds like a sad ordeal. Have the hospice people been helpful in informing you about her prognosis, meaning of course what no one ever wants to say, how long your mother has left on this earth. At the end, my father couldn’t swallow properly and since there was no way I would allow a stomach tube, all I could do was swab his mouth when I was there. Very tough! But my father was stoic to a fault. Hoping for the best for you and your mom during a very difficult stage for both of you.
Sorry to hear of your mother’s distress. And it is so difficult for you to witness and to feel powerless. Does the morphine help?
I’m so very sorry @compmom. Praying for peace and comfort for you and your mom.
Many of you have gone through this. In the afternoon she peed on herself in bed (never happened), and we got stuck with her on the toilet and me holding her head up so she wouldn’t fall. Then to complete the picture she threw up. I managed to get the nurse (who is caring for 68 people in the AL) to give my mother her sleep meds early. I left two messages with hospice. I should have called them instead of handling on my own. I’ll meet with them tomorrow. I pray for relief for my mother! Thanks all.
I’m so sorry,@compmom. When my mom was bedbound and in hospice care at the end, she was transitioned to adult diapers, with no attempt to get her to the toilet. She was at home with my sister and me though. Perhaps the recommendation would have been different if she was in a facility, but not sure. Hospice was helpful in giving us an idea of how much longer she probably had at the end. All the best to you. I know it is very hard.
@sevmom this is the first day she has lost control of urine. She has been barely peeing and it is very dark colored. She pees once a day that I have seen. She wore Depends before the colostomy and got yeast infections, large areas. But she has lost so much weight (35-40lbs) in the last two months, that she might wear them more comfortably. Buying some tomorrow.
I was just reading some sites on various stages and I think the cognitive issues today, some of which were confabulations, may be typical and not her usual type of dementia behavior. If she “wants to go home” and “wants to see her mother,” those are feelings that need to be honored. My sister is estranged from the family so even though my mother seemed to understand that,specific absence, the wish to see her “other daughter” must come from a feeling of something missing that she cannot identify. I am going to try to interpret things more metaphorically.
ps Assisted living aides are no help- not their fault but when I was holding my mother’s head and shoulders to keep her from falling off the toilet, I pressed the emergency button (we were stuck!) and noone came. And the nurse- one nurse- is caring for 68 people most of whom have significant medical needs as well as dementia. I don’t blame any of them. Not at all. But the model doesn’t work well for many residents. Not sure what would happen to my mother if I am not there. My brother has stepped up more lately too.
Hugs 
It sounds like your mother is experiencing terminal agitation. Did the hospice team cover this topic with you? It can be very hard to witness for family. Reassurance that ‘you can go home mom when your ready’, ‘we will be ok’ , ‘you will see estranged sister again’ , ‘I love you’ etc soothes some people. This is so hard. I’m sorry.
Does your hospice have an in patient unit? It may be time if she’s unsafe.
FWIW, it’s unacceptable for no one to respond to the emergency call button.
Thinking of you, compmom. Hope that hospice can be of further help. This sounds like more than any one person can handle and I understand the wish for having a loved one’s struggle be over. Maybe there is a way to bring in some additional help for part of the time.
I am so glad that is the case. At least I hope so–sometimes my brother’s help with my dad was a lot more trouble than it was worth, lol. Hope you get a little relief from this huge stressor! 
Yes on the sibling lol!
I found out today that she hasn’t gotten her high strength tylenol for two weeks!
I have to call the pharmacy every few weeks because the AL doesn’t notice and in this case hospice didn’t either. Palliative hospice care with no tylenol!
@compmom I really feel for you. That is a lot to deal with, and must be so difficult to watch. I hope the hospice can make things a little easier for you and more comfortable for your mom
Hey @compmom, how’s your mom today? And how are you?
Turns out both Tylenol and Gabapentin (which boosts her sleep med) were omitted for 8 days. I knew something was wrong! This resulted in 1am calls to me about administering Ativan. Also some doses of Ativan that noone at the facility told me about, causing me to wonder about the worsening cognition (which is terrible to begin with). I straightened it out w/pharmacy and MD but it could have been omitted forever. It is scary that we can never sit back and let the system take care of things.
Right now she is in bed as always going on and on about how she has to get a car and move. She called the emergency number by mistake on her cell and the Fire Dept. came so I had to take the phone away. Now she calls the front desk 10 times an hour if I go out!
“I have to buy a car.” Over and over. The dilemma is, as the afternoon progresses, she gets more and more agitated but sedation makes her worse overall so what is the answer? We are having a family meeting with hospice on Friday.