Perhaps your mother is being passive-agressive and thinks that shocking you is the way to get you to think more clearly about the finances. You have a couple of viable options. I’m not sure taking Northwestern up on their visit is a good thing to do…the gap and the potential gap over the four years just doesn’t seem viable. I agree with your father that most parents aren’t interested, as they approach or begin their retirement years, in having huge loans for their kids’ college education hanging over their heads. I know I wouldn’t do it if there were viable financial options. You could take a gap year and start over with J schools on the list - Michigan State, Ball State, Montana, Missouri and there a dozen more…in addition to reapplying to some of your in-state options and see what kind of yield you get financially. If you don’t want to do that take the expensive options off the table and have a discussion with your parents about the more viable options. Or take Stony Brook’s J school and don’t look back.
Looks like none of the current acceptances (lowest net price of $17,000) are in range of realistic self-funding if the family contribution is $0.
Not really sure from what I read when the discussion of $0 started with the parents. We told our kids very early that paying for college would be their responsibility. We did let them know they could go to their choice of local state schools and live at home and we would help pay for the 1st semester. I work tirelessly to help my kids find affordable options, but that is really the point. They need to be realistic. S1 had the ability to go to just about any school in the country. There were some that were not worth applying to because they had little or no merit aid. He was not interested in competing for 1 or 2 full rides and some schools and investing emotionally. He made his own choice and has been very happy.
Yes, if, in fact, the family is not going to contribute the answer is clear. The OP should work and go to a local CC or commutable university just so many kids do. Or work for a year and try again with a list more geared to financial options. I don’t agree with the parents because I’m a parent who set a budget before the apps went in, but it is what it is so from my perspective Northwestern would be off the table. Perhaps the mom was indulging in wistful thinking, but how many parents have we seen come and go on these forums who engaged in that type of thinking and let their kids proceed to apply to colleges knowing full well their income isn’t going to garner their kids financial aid and banking on their kids getting merit tuition discounting? There are threads like that every day of every year. And how many of those same parents really go to sleep at night with hope their kids don’t end up because of cost at some directional in some random state or at an LAC that is barely afloat and takes anyone who applies?
I’m sorry, but I just can’t take this seriously. I’ve been dating a college journalist for almost 4 years so I know a little about this. As a high school student it is veryy unlikely, honestly, that you have some mindblowing, outstanding thing on your application that shows unprecedented heights of talent and achievement. I can’t believe that a college professor would publicly badmouth his school to a supposedly promising, talented student. Isn’t that the kind of student they’d want to attract to their program?
Previously in the thread I mentioned that my boyfriend has gotten internships at very prestigious publications and just received an acceptance to Columbia without even going to a school with a journalism program! If you really want to do this, you can make the opportunities for yourself. I’m not saying you have to go to Buffalo but I strongly urge you to not decline the offer right now. Keep the option open.
Just catching up on this thread. Someone upthread-ucb, I think, brought up several HBCU’s that have either rolling admissions or very late deadlines that also offer full rides to someone with your stats. OP. As the parent of a child who plans on attending an HBCU, we’ve visited many, she is leaving on a trip to visit some more, and we’ve researched them extensively. If you are willing, some of them offer excellent options for a bright student like you. I’d take a hard look at Howard-it’s not far south, it’s in the heart of the political world where there would be plenty of options for an aspiring journalist, and it’s a large school with many strong program should you change your major (it happens).
The one thing we’ve found about HBCU’s is that they offer VERY strong support to freshman students. They WANT kids to succeed, so if you get the full ride and go there against your parents’ wishes, you won’t feel so alone.
I know that many believe HBCU’s are “less than” PWI’s. It’s a shame because there are many, many successful grads who go onto great jobs or grad school at Ivies. But for you specifically-one of the newscasters on a local Seattle channel here is a Howard grad. She is part of the local UNCF chapter that raises funds for scholarships, and a couple of years ago headlined the yearly “big deal” fundraiser. UNCF, btw, has hundreds of scholarships and any UNCF-affiliated college will put you in their UNCF pot, but some you would need to apply for independently. Not all are need-based. You could start looking at them today.
I don’t know your parents, so I don’t know what they will do, but I’d proceed as if they will give you nothing, while continuing to see if they will offer to pay SOMETHING. Other posters are right-you have some good options-gap year, community college, etc. You wouldn’t be the first to have to do that, and wouldn’t be the first to still become successful. My H lost his first parent at 6, his mother died 2 weeks after HS graduation. There wasn’t much money to begin with, but at that point the contribution was 0. He attended community college for his core classes, transferred to UW and paid his own way by working FT at night and picking up weekend jobs when he could. It took him 6 years to graduate, but he has an excellent job in communications, has worked at the state capital, and when they were worth something, for the largest newspapers in OR an WA. It’s completely possible for you to achieve your dreams through a non-traditional path.
This is actually an excellent idea. Mom sounds highly emotional and little erratic (sorry!) and I think she might be sold on the school if she attends. Personally, I was very impressed with the University of Miami at their Stamps/Singer weekend a few weeks ago. It’s as much sales pitch as anything else (less than a third of the kids who attend will actually receive the big money scholarships, but of course the school would like all of those top students to attend) and I have to admit, I was sold! Miami is just barely affordable for us, but it’s still on the list of choices, and that is precisely because they did such a great job of presenting all the benefits of the school. (It also happens to be probably the best fit for my son of all the schools he is choosing from.)
But enough about us. The point is, I believe that your mom might actually be swayed by a NU sales pitch. The problem is though, even if she agrees to pay 41k for the first two years, you always run the risk of her freaking out when the price jumps up two years later and leaving you in a very bad position. Also, it sounds like there may genuinely be serious financial problems in your family, despite the high income. Not everyone who makes a good income budgets their money well, and life is very expensive. So they could feel somewhat “broke” even with a relatively high income.
I find this absurd. But if its true, this professor is doing you, his department, and his university a huge disservice. And which is worse for journalism, attending Buffalo or not going to college at all?
You should leave all affordable options on the table for now. It hurts no-one by taking your time right up until May 1st to figure this out. You have a very difficult situation, and you do not want to let a single affordable option go. You might need it.
Also, I firmly believe your parents will pay something when they really have to. If I were you, I would be looking for an affordable option (you have three to choose from) that allows you to move away and live in a dorm. I think the actual college matters much less than you getting some space from your family and starting an independent life as an adult. College is not just about academics, it’s also about growing into the person you will become. For you at this time, I believe the first, critical step is living away from home. I’d be looking to go to any school that made that possible.
Good luck!
Oprah went to Tennessee State University. Journalism is one of those fields where you don’t have to come out of “the right school.”
I think Christiane Amanpour went to Rutgers.
You will not be held back by going to your state school.
I just don’t believe that’s the case. Mom is just being dramatic. She wanted Cali to get a full ride somewhere and she’s hopeful that will still happen, so she’s not yet facing the reality of the situation. But they are not going to contribute $0 in the end, as that would be dooming Cali to no college at all. They will come around. This just sounds like a highly emotional, chaotic family that does not communicate well. Sorry Cali, that’s not meant to be a slam; it’s just that I come from a similar background and I recognize the behavior patterns of poor communication and overly dramatic threats that are obviously empty, since they are so ridiculous, ie. $0 contribution. It’s like when a parent says, “You will be grounded for the rest of your life,” or “you will never be allowed to play video games again.” The parent makes exaggerated threats because they are frustrated, but of course they don’t follow through on such harsh decrees.
@CaliCash your best bet right now is to find an affordable school and very gently work on them to help you attend that school, even if it means taking the $5500 in personal loans.
Another question to ask…even IF you went to the school where you could commute…the cost would be the same as your sister’s, right? So ask you parents what they are hoping your post high school plans should be. If they say…“we expect you to work”…that will be different than “we can help you a little”.
The head of the Communications department at SUNY Buffalo, Thomas Feeley, got his bachelor’s, master’s and doctorate there. He has a list of plausible-sounding publications. I can imagine that Dr. Feeley told CaliCash that if money weren’t an issue, she’d have more opportunities at Northwestern. That’s true, and if she happened to have a quarter of a million dollars in her pocket, she should choose Northwestern.
As it is, I don’t see the point of even keeping Northwestern on the table. Maybe to show her parents how cheap her real choices, the SUNYs, are?
Except that mom is so unpredictable and emotional she might still be swayed, especially if she attends a NU sales pitch weekend…Perhaps Cali is hoping that she can ultimately convince her parents to pay for NU.
But she’s so unpredictable, and Northwestern so expensive, that even if she were swayed, she might be swayed back right in the middle of CaliCash’s sophomore year or something like that.
And the mom might REALLY get swayed when the sister graduates in two years, and the family contribution jumps to $70,000 a year.
It’s entirely possible that your parents don’t have the money. Even with a salary of $240k a year, they could be making unwise financial decisions and spending what they make. Three vacations a year could be a clue to their spending habits.
It is possible that despite original poster ( OP’S ) parents high income ($240000) they have a lot of debt (credit card debt or otherwise) that eats into their disposable income and which the OP is not aware of. And living in New York there is high cost of living expenses that the FAFSA and CSS profile do not consider (FAFSA &CSS also do not consider credit card & other debts). Considering that the parents did not save previously for college and may not be good at budgeting (taking 3 family vacations in 1 year, for example) and having to pay $50,000 per year in property taxes (according to the OP) it’s no wonder they are freaking out now that it’s time to make the decision and commitment to fund college, even despite the high income. SUNY Buffalo, Albany and Stony Brook are all great schools and should be doable even if it means taking out student loans and borrowing from OP’s parents. And remember, it’s not always the school you go, but more often the student and person you are, and success will be dependent on your motivation, initiative and talents. The main goal is to get a college degree.
If a 7K contribution to an older sibling is unaffordable to the family, then take Northwestern out of the picture. I suggest that it’s a good idea for the mom to meet with the NW people and be told IN PERSON that no money is coming her way. Then impress on her that state schools have even less money to give away. NW wil not happen without a big lottery win
Yes, very true. I think Cali is caught in an emotional entanglement with Mom and if she really wants to break free of it, living away from home at an affordable college in a dorm (Albany, Stonybrook, or Buffalo) is her best bet. Make it easy and affordable for the parents and they will agree eventually. Even if she somehow gets them to pay for NU, she will stay hooked in to this drama, because they will be complaining about the expense and threatening to stop paying for the entire four years (and could possibly even do so).
You know Cali, we grow up in these emotional relationships with our parents that, while not necessarily horrible, do get tiresome. If you want to really break free from the control and drama, you have to live away from home, and you can’t be financially tied to them in a way that creates a hardship for them and causes Mom to continue the drama. If they can’t manage their finances, 41k-60k really will be a problem for them; they are probably not lying about that.
Also, ask if they can divert the money from taking you on vacation towards college expenses.
By the way, other parents, suppose Cali goes to one of the SUNYs, with her parents paying the $~8K and her borrowing $10K each year. She emerges $40K in debt. How reasonable is a $40K debt for a journalism graduate? That sounds high to me. I don’t like to see a kid with a debt that is greater than a year’s salary for a new graduate.