We can guess all day as to why this situation exists. For now, it’s up to the parents. My guess is that they’ll come up with something for college. Zero is not at all reasonable for them, Not even for many familys with a zero EFC. But they who control the gold, make the rules. If it doesn’t work out, Cali can look for a job, get a DIrect loan and go to an inexpensive local school as a commuter. Or work, and save up for next year, and see if parents get a change in heart or mind, and redo her list, knowing that full ride is what is need. Momfromtexas wrote a great, though dated post in her search for only full rides for her students, and succeeded. It can be done, at least for small amounts. There have been students here who have so managed as well.
@CaliCash, this could be your first big story. I bet a lot of people could relate and you could publish it somewhere.
$40,000 of loan debt will be a little over $400 a month repayment for 10 years.
What I’m hoping is that Cali can strike up a plan with her parents wherby they contribute half of that…and not as a loan. The balance would be her direct loan amount each year…and at Stonybrook, her $5500 merit award. And then a loan from her parents for several thousand.
And she needs a job. She is going to need that anyway regardless of what she does next year…especially if her parents expect her to be self supporting.
While $40,000 of debt is not pleasant, I think it’s somewhat manageable, and I’d rather see Cali take a modest amount of debt than not go to college at all. What would not be manageable is $240,000 in debt, which is the approximate price of NU. That’s not reasonable for Cali or her parents. I think she needs to drop NU and choose between the three affordable choices. Her parents will help her, if their contribution is only around $10,000-$12,000. I’m sure of it.
One more point. I think it is entirely reasonable and justifiable for the OP to approach her rich grandfather now. She can legitimately say her parents are refusing (unreasonably) or unable to give her any money for college. If there is ever a time to reach out to the grandfather, this is the time. Seriously!! Under these unique family circumstances calicash would not be selfish to ask her grandfather to help out so she can go to her instate school (the least expensive option). She got into such great schools that she cannot afford. The least the wealthy grandfather can do is help her out in this situation.
@CaliCash are you willing to go to one of the affordable schools: Stonybrook, Albany or Buffalo?
Let’s run a budget.
COA at SUNY Buffalo is $25,718.00 for a student in the dorms. That includes a transportation cost of $1078. That sounds high for an on-campus student with no car, but CaliCash needs a job, and she’ll have to get to the job somehow unless it’s an on-campus job-- transit fares mount up. So we’ll go with the $25,718. This is all ballpark anyway.
SUNY Buffalo COA: 25,718
Daniel Ackers Scholarship: 5,000
Loan: 5,500
Earnings from work: 6,000
Still need: 9,218
I agree with Thumper…Northwestern is too risky. It does zero good to go to Northwestern for a year or two then have to transfer because the finances aren’t there…no one cares where you start college, it’s where you graduate from that matters. ThreeRedheads, it doesn’t matter one wit what the parents do, no parent is obligated to pay for college for their kids. Lots of them do contribute what they can, but I’ve written before that I know a doctor-doctor couple and a CEO-CEO couple that did not pay for their kids’ college and it wasn’t because they had ‘bad’ kids, it was their choice even knowing the cost of college these days. I know plenty of college educated upper middle class - lower wealthy families that send their kids to CC for two years and don’t bat an eyelash or think it’s “beneath” their kids. it’s a rarified “air” sometimes on these threads what parents are willing to do. Clearly the OPs parents are not going to sacrifice much to send her to a very, very expensive college and personally if they want to take vacations they are entitled as much as that is disdainful to some parents here. Their spending habits and priorities are exactly that…THEIR spending habits and priorities. There are many kids that don’t exactly get that message and sometimes the sense of entitlement that kids have about their parents appalls me. It does not help the OP to give “false hope” that her parents are going to be “wowed” by Northwestern. Her mother and father were wrong not to give her a budget,earlier and now the pedal is hitting the proverbial metal as it always does around here in April. I wish her well, and I hope they can all get on the same page.
I agree, it’s not that the parents don’t want to pay for an elite education that is really the problem here. The problem is that they weren’t clear on what they will pay, so the list of colleges is more expensive than what may be realistic for paying, especially Northwestern. It seems like there should have been a lower cost safety in the bag, at a school that gave lots of merit for OP’s stats. A full tuition scholarship at least. But since the OP wasn’t aware that the cost restrictions were so low, she didn’t go for any schools like that.
@momofthreeboys, you and I are often at odds, but not here. Northwestern is out of the question. It seems to me that going to the fly-in is just prolonging the problem, and very likely to make the communication difficulties between Cali and her parents worse instead of better. Her family is not going to contribute a quarter million bucks to her education, Northwestern is not going to give her more money, and the whole Northwestern scenario is just a waste of energy that ought to go toward finding an affordable option.
@redpoodles Christina Amanpour went to URI and then worked in Providence.
Are you? The mom said they’re contributing $0. The older sibling is commuting to a SUNY and has to repay the parents, so I think when the mom says $0, she means $0. I suspect that because Cali is very smart and has great stats, the mom assumed somebody else would be paying.
@calicash, I’d get a couple apps out to the schools ucb mentioned in post #138. That gives you some control. You may need to take the student loan (~$5500/year) for travel & personal expenses, but it sounds like it’s doable for you. Then you can talk to your mom about the SUNYs and see if your parents will loan you the money for room & board. I’m not sure I’d give up a free ride (if you get it) if the alternative is depending on your parents to loan you that money every year. If your mom changes her mind in year 2, 3, or 4 you’ll have $10-30k worth of debt, no degree, and no money to go get one.
@trackmb3, Suppose Cali does get money from grandpa for a year or two. What’s she supposed to do if something happens to grandpa and the people controlling the money won’t pay for her to finish?
I was thinking the same. Grandpa is 91. The life expectancy for a 91-year-old is less than 4 years. If Cali were to be able to get him to contribute money toward her education, she should not assume that his support was ongoing. She should, rather, be grateful for any gift that he could give her right now, and treat it as a one-time gift rather than continuing support.
And grandpa just remarried. Hopefully, he and his new wife are enjoying some of the things his money can buy.
Wouldn’t the gift be limited to a maximum of $14,000? That still takes Northwestern off the table.
No, I think Grandpa could pay the entire college bill, if he wished
I do think the parents will pay $10,000-$12,000 when it really comes down to it. The fact that Mom said they would pay $0 shows that she is not giving Cali a realistic number. Communication is really bad in this family, so we have no idea what will really happen.
But everyone is right, Cali needs to get this figured out asap! Good luck! 
Here are 2 threads with identical scenarios.
Buffalo is out for me.
I tried speaking to my mom today. She said she doesn’t want to talk about anything heavy today because it is Easter. Ridiculous. But when a conversation hasn’t happened in 2 years, what’s another day, right? Lol
Thankfully tomorrow, I am meeting with an independent college consultant. No, we are not paying for it. One of the leaders at one of my programs is dating a consultant and his boss is agreeing to meet with me. Maybe he can help me out!