With all due respect, how many people do you know who can be persuaded to spend $250,000 they hadn’t previously intended for a pricey college education? THESE parents already have a known history of sending an older sibling to community college and then expecting to be paid back for the cost of the final two years at university. With that already-established history, and the mother’s well-documented (by Cali anyway) ambivalence about the entire process, encouraging NU at this point seems highly imprudent.
I’m puzzled that UF would remain on the list instead of Syracuse.
While I think it would look great on the college consultant’s resume if he counseled someone who later enrolled at NU, I believe he is just drawing out the drama for Cali. The parents are clearly balking at the costs of NU. Cali can’t pin her mom down to a number that she’d be comfortable paying and she’s been trying to do just that for several months. There’s a whole lot of room between $0 and $35k, and a much greater gulf between $0 and $70k; I don’t for a minute think NU will fill it. And I have doubts that Cali’s mom is suddenly going to go from $0 to $35k in the next 23 days. The chances of getting her to agree to $70k for years 3 and 4 are much more remote.
I hope, for Cali’s sake, that her mom gives her a concrete answer sooner rather than later, but it sounds to me like everyone is stringing this child along. If you keep saying “we’ll see” long enough eventually time will run out and the decision will be made for you. The parents are not only NOT paying enormous sums for Cali’s sibling to go to school, they’re making her repay what they are paying. I think all the parents on this thread who are encouraging Cali to hope for a miracle are doing her a disservice. If the parents won’t give Cali’s sibling $28k, do you REALLY imagine they’re going to give Cali nearly a quarter of a million dollars? She can hope NU works out, but she needs a solid plan in the event that it doesn’t.
CRD you’re talking perfect world. If the parents can’t or won’t, she needs “eyes open, full steam ahead.” There may be 23 days but I do not suggest she reconcile all this two weeks from now. She needs a fast fall-back. Not: maybe she joins the military or maybe she ages out to 24 or maybe she finds a 20k job after hs graduation and another to cover years 2-4. And not: maybe NU comes up with another 30k.
I think she got better aid at UF…so the net price is less.
At this point, the financial aid issues need to be resolved.
If NU does not become affordable, then what?
And what about the older sibling who is being asked to PAY BACK the total costs of attending a school to which he or she commutes? Sorry, but even though Calicash says she is the cream of the crop, I think the sibling needs to be considered as well. This sibling saved the parents a ton of money on college…and now will watch her sibling get $30,000 plus a year to attend college? The sibling didn’t get $30,000 TOTAL, and is being expected to pay it all back
I think there is something seriously wrong with this picture…and story.
If there is something the parents should not do, it’s expect one kid to fully pay back a rousing $16,000 for two years as a commuter, and give Scott free $30,000 a year or more to the second kid.
And I don’t care what the opportunity differential is…this is a family…and this is screwed up thinking, in my opinion.
I agree, thumper1, and frankly I find the whole thing hard to believe.
Sorry you all. I’m rooting for Cali and there is no downside to going for broke for the next 23 days! If it doesn’t work, perhaps something else will. In my first post in the thread I mentioned Harvard Extension - a perfectly viable option - when her mother was at 0. The point in doing that is to point out that there is always a plan available for any situation.
Since then, mom has moved off 0. Mom is considering the benefits of Northwestern. Cali has started to consider other options. This an enormous ground shift.
Sure there is drama. So what. Sometimes drama is worth it. Pessimism is not a healthy strategy. Neither is drama avoidance. Sometimes persistence pays off.
It is always suboptimal to exercise your option early.
Go Cali!
I couldn’t disagree more. If we believe Cali’s tale, her family has been unforthcoming, unrealistic and inconstant for years about finances as she pursues college applications. I can’t see any hope that her parents will come up with the money for her to go to Northwestern, and keeping that unrealistic option on the table is just delaying and confusing a process that has been delayed and confused already for far too long.
The possible downside is that Cali gets no money to go anywhere. Or she gets a promise to go to Northwestern, and her parents renege when it’s time to pay.
Realism is not the same as pessimism.
What people DO can tell you much more than what they SAY. And what Cali’s parents have been consistent about doing is NOT writing large college checks and NOT writing college checks at all without a signed loan document.
Her mom encouraged the Northwestern application as I remember so it isn’t impossible that the mom, after a visit and possibly a slight shift in the aid package, will change her tune. If she hasn’t acted rationally up till now, who’s to say that she won’t have a swing. Maybe they really can’t pay and maybe they just don’t want to or like the drama of being in charge. People are weird. It seems that if she’s fixed on a solid second choice if NW doesn’t work for whatever reason she can deposit at the last second as long as mom and dad know that $500 or whatever will need to be paid by 5/1. It cold also be that mom has another round of sticker shock at Northwestern and one of the other viable options starts to look like a pretty good deal to her.
IF they actually have the means to make Northwestern work, even a modest adjustment in the package could give the mom an excuse to OK it after all.
Root for her all you like. But don’t leave her without a net, without a back-up, a doable, feasible, ultimate back-up idea. If she were my young friend, I’d have her explore that pronto. Set aside the dreams for a moment and gain some perspective on what she can do. This is crisis management. Not wishing. Then if the miracle does occur, fine. In every major life step, you can’t just go with, “I hope, I hope, I hope.”
Btw, this is not the first time we heard the theme of 240k or more but no funds for college. Some claim they earned the mortgage, the cars, the vacations, the debt and can barely squeeze out any more. And some, in all fairness, have not been earning that amount through the years and couldn’t have saved enough. Bottom line: she may be left in a quandry. She needs a solid back-up, in case.
@Consolation I mean, that’s okay lol.
My parents are really lost when it comes to financial aid. They aren’t transparent and would rather wait for a final package rather than give me a budget. Idk why, but that is their mindset. So they may be a little delusional about what aid is available. And they may have very poor spending habits. But they aren’t bad people. And they are not the type of people who would jump ship in the middle of my education. This is the second time that I have said this. This is not a concern of mine. I know that the place where I enroll in the fall will be the place where I spend the next 4 years of my life and will be the place my parents will be paying to send me whether it is NU or SUNY Albany. I just wanna clarify that. That is not a concern of mine.
My sibling will be paying my parents back, not as a noble effort, but because of a falling out between the two. That needed to be clarified as well.
Lastly, this is not a tale. If you do not believe me, that’s fine. But I would prefer that this didn’t turn into a “she’s lying thread” and instead stay as a “let’s help her thread”.
But you also said, “She coddles my sibling and would pay anything for them. For me? Not so much.”
I don’t believe they’re bad, but you may have a big challenge to deal with.
In post #264 she shares her narrowed list which does include realistic options assuming the parents budge just a little. She is not ignoring the SUNYs and still has 2 on the table out of her 4 remaining schools. Obviously if the parents stick with a zero contribution stance then she will have to go back to the drawing board completely, but it was sounding like they are breaking it down step by step and there is movement towards a productive discussion.
Similar to the students on CC typically being high achievers, the parents on here are very well versed in the college application process and are extremely straightforward. For my parents, they hold this mentality: “If it isn’t impossible, you should not rule it out.” They live for hypothetical situations. So right now, they are keeping the door open so that in the event the unlikely happens, I will have it as an option.
Is getting an extra $10,000 per year from Northwestern likely? Of course not.
Is it impossible? No, it isn’t.
I’ve come to accept that as my parents mentality. Is it helpful when I need concrete answers, nope, most definitely isn’t! But it’s what I’m working with, and I’m trying my hardest to push through it.
@lookingforward My sibling is coddled. Most definitely. Gets pretty much anything. But paying for school is a punishment of sorts for reckless behavior.
I should also mention that my sibling is very supportive of me and would support any school I go to.
Did the college consultant give you any reason to believe that appealing Northwestern’s decision would result in anything but a token change in their aid amount, like two or three thousand dollars?
The lesson for students whose parents are vague with cost constraints for colleges is to look for full ride merit scholarships when preparing the application list. High stat or NMF students may have some automatic full ride safeties, though students who do not qualify for such may find it more difficult (i.e. need to seek competitive full rides and be prepared for the possibility of a financial shutout).
@"Cardinal Fang" They didn’t give me any reason not to. This was someone we are speaking to for the first time, so no specific financial details were given.
@ucbalumnus That is sound advice.