Parents guilt

@myyalieboy —Hey, if you think the poor have it easier, then go for it! Anyone can be poor. Why should they have all the advantages? /sarcasm

@garland Sigh. I did not say it was easy to be poor or that they had all the advantages. My comment was thoughtful, nuanced and true to my experience. There was no need to mock or exaggerate it. I did not for example characterize your comment as meaning that nothing can go wrong for non poor people and that they deserve no sympathy. Try to see it from someone else’s shoes - even if they have more money.

My own comments that you addressed said nothing about life being easy and perfect for the well off. I was simply addressing the part of the OP’s post which implied that the students getting financial aid were better off than her kid who didn’t. And I disagreed with that. You mischaracterized my disagreement–hence my response.

“Amen. Don’t even remotely kid yourself you really know someone else’s finance unless you are their accountant or financial planner. You have no idea what assets someone really has, what “silent” health issues they have that are none of your business, if they are supporting grandma, etc. None.”

@Pizzagirl , that is so very spot on, and sage advice.

worry about your own situation, and never assume you know anything about others. at the risk of sounding boastful, I make a lot of $$ relative to most people. that said, I have my fair share of problems and challenges. nobody is immune. we all struggle with something, usually more than one thing.

@garland I did not mischaracterize what you said. Your post says that you “reject the notion” of doughnut hole families, thereby dismissing their struggles. And yes we do disagree as it is very possible for such a family to be put into a situation as bad as some people who do get aid and it is better to graduate without debt than with it. Full stop.

Some comments in this thread remind me of this common exchange:

“No matter what I eat I can’t seem to gain any weight!”

“Keep that to yourself!”

(Just trying to lighten it up a bit…)

You should feel proud that you have had the opportunity and ability to raise a child that values education, is able to be the best student they can be, has knowledge about the college process, is able to apply to a variety of schools and finally is smart enough to choose a good value school where they can stand out and be a star without having tons of student loans and you still having retirement savings.