Parents have wildly unrealistic expectations...?

<p>I need help convincing my parents that their ideas about my chances at college acceptances are very unrealistic.
I have a 3.56UW, 3.9W GPA, and a 2130 SAT (600 math, 740, reading, 790 writing)
My ECs are ok (very involved in ballet) and I'm international.</p>

<p>They think that schools such as Williams, Swathmore, Amherst, Middlebury, and Wesleyan are matches for me, and that Barnard is a safety. I don't think I have a chance at most of these schools, but they keep insisting that I am 'selling myself short' with my college list and keep disregarding the colleges I pick because they think I could do better (I am looking at schools like Colby, NYU, University of Washington, Franklin & Marshall). How can I convince them that I am not a particularly exceptional applicant and get them to agree to look at more realistic schools?</p>

<p>If some of those schools have results threads here on CC, you could show those to them.</p>

<p>If they’re willing to pay for the app fees, why not go ahead and apply to them all and see what results?</p>

<p>It’s smart of you to ensure you have a couple of realistic safeties that you apply to.</p>

<p>you can pretty quickly find the stats for the freshman class at most colleges. Compare those to yours, and it shouldn’t be hard to figure out.</p>

<p>Does your high school have Naviance? Your best bet is to show your parents the scattergrams on Naviance or on other online sites which show how many students with similar stats are rejected from those reach schools. </p>

<p>Also, look for definitions of safety, match, and reach schools. Many of the schools you list are reaches for EVERYBODY because of their very low acceptance rates.</p>

<p>If it makes your parents happy, you might as well apply to a couple of those reach schools, but be sure to apply to a range of match and safety schools as well.</p>

<p>You probably do have a shot at all of those schools–it’s not preposterous to apply to them.</p>

<p>But you’re right that it makes sense to add some safer safeties.</p>

<p>When you say you’re international, do you mean you are a foreign citizen attending school in your home country? It’s hard to compare GPAs if you’re from a different educational system. Is yours a very strong GPA for your own school? (Are you one of the top students?) If so, don’t be scared off by the higher numbers you see from US students. If you’re attending a US school, then, yes, 3.56 is on the low end for those colleges, but doesn’t put you out of the running if you bring something to the table that interests the school.</p>

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<p>That’s terrible advice. That just sets the parents up to continue to not deal in reality.</p>

<p>agree with if they want you to apply and they will pay for it - do it. D1 regrets not applying more than 9 places- D2 applied well over that - safeties ended up were not and reaches they got into. this after much info comparing- go for it but grow a thick skin ahead of time…and work on the math score</p>

<p>What do you mean?
“…I’m international…”</p>

<p>Pizzagirl- years ago I had a great disagreement with H on D1’s app to a very high level school- I told him he was setting her up for a huge disappointment and it was not fair to her. H held his ground and said ‘you do not know this for sure’ and encouraged her to apply- yup that is where she went- interestingly got rejected to much lower schools and got into others that were safeties. did not get into her matches. However, I agree parents and applicants need very thick skin.</p>

<p>If you’re international (as in, you don’t live in the US), you’re probably going to have to lower your standards. By A LOT. International students have it rough. </p>

<p>I got rejected from both Swarthmore AND Barnard.</p>

<p>International students pay full fees because financial aid is limited. Are your parents going to pay full price for those schools?</p>

<p>Do you want to continue to pursue ballet? If you apply to schools that care about such things (and Ivies are among these, actually; don’t know about the “little Ivies” on your list) then extensive ballet can be a real advantage in your application. Make sure to include information, recommendations and videos, using them in an arts supplement to tell the schools more about who you are.</p>

<p>Barnard has a great ballet program, actually. It sounds like you are not applying to the NYU conservatory at Tisch, so dance would not be as much of a help there. Skidmore and Connecticut College are other possibilities.</p>

<p>Many top schools recognize that students have different strengths. The math SAT may not be as much of a problem as you think.</p>

<p>*Quote:
If they’re willing to pay for the app fees, why not go ahead and apply to them all and see what results?
*</p>

<p>When parents are being very stubborn, sometimes it is best just to apply to some/most of the schools that they insist upon, but also including some back ups that you like. If you are rejected from those schools, they will know for sure that they were wrong. If you’re accepted to some, then great. </p>

<p>The problem with trying to convince them is this. Even if you do convince them, it’s very likely that during the years to come they will pepper conversations with “You should have applied to X, you would have gotten in there.” Sometimes it’s best to let the reality of the college rejections slap THEM in the face.</p>

<p>the truth is that your UW GPA and your Math SAT are low for top schools. Your Writing is high, but many schools don’t count that section as heavily. The Math + CR is usually more important and yours is a 1340…not high for top schools.</p>

<p>Since you’re an int’l applicant, are your parents willing to pay for these expensive schools? NYU would be very expensive…not likely any aid from them.</p>

<p>As a full-pay international student, you may have a better shot than you think, especially at public universitites like UC Berkeley or UCLA. They want the money…</p>

<p>Ultimately it will depend on your answers to some of the questions posed here, but I agree that you should apply to at least a couple of the reaches that your parents think are matches, plus realistic matches and safeties.</p>

<p>My D1, now a junior, applied to mostly reaches, one match, and one safety. She is now very happy at her safety, but in retrospect, she wishes she would have applied at many more matches and safeties. She probably would have ended up at the same great university, but her ego wouldn’t have been as bruised.</p>

<p>Our D2 is applying at matches and safeties, and one reach just for the fun of it. I feel much better about her choices.</p>

<p>As parents, we encouraged D1 to “reach for the sky”, but that was before I found CC and became educated in her chances. By that time it was too late to change courses. In all honesty, I think it was partly an ego trip for H and I to have out daughter apply to the reaches she did. But now, I’m over that. H not so much, but each time he gets a little excited about D2 applying to a reach, I just bring him back to reality.</p>

<p>At least you have a shot. I know parents who talk about their kid not being interested in M.I.T., they prefer Harvard or Stanford. This with an SAT score around 1500/2400!</p>

<p>Deblerg, if you do not have Naviance graphs from your school to show them, what about your school guidance counselor? Is that someone who could talk to them about this? Your total list is 10 schools… that is actually not an unreasonable number to apply to. </p>

<p>Curious, though, about your answer to the questions posed above about financial aid and what you mean by “international”. That could make a big difference in the advice you recieve here. Good luck!</p>

<p>On another thread I believe the OP said she lives in Greece but is a US citizen.</p>