<p>What do you think when you get a letter addressed to Parents/Guardian of DS/DD from University X? The kind of letter I'm talking about is the glossy send your DS/DD to University X viewbook/letter. The "We are amazing, rich, and full of talented kids blah, blah, blah" parent pamphlet letter. From a students POV I find it sort of undermining and condescending that a college would send promotional mail to my parents, instead of me. To me it says that the college assumes your parents run your life and should make your college choices. Also, I don't think we need any more pressure on kids to apply to colleges they don't like from parents. I think parents should be kept in the loop, but I do not belive they should be sent promotional materials. Do you CC parents agree or disagree? Do you like getting "parent viewbooks" from colleges, or do you let your DS/DD relay the info?</p>
<p>It's marketing, plain and simple. The colleges want lots of applicants so that they have good choices and so they can report on selectivity. So they figure that, if they position themselves such that the parents have a favorable opinion, that's a good thing. That means that the parents don't say, "What? I've never heard of the place," when the student mentions the school. And yes, it also might mean that the parent suggest the school to the student. Both are good outcomes as far as the college is concerned.</p>
<p>I haven't been paying attention. It all goes into a file, and S will look it over once the break starts.</p>
<p>I realize its marketing and advantageous (for the most part) for the college, but I think it is tacky and a turn off. I know this is a stretch, but its similar to marketing cigarettes to teenagers. Sure it sells more cigarettes, but is it the ethical way to? IMO, it not the place of parents to dictate where a child goes to school. </p>
<p>Plus, my mom is kinda gullible and "imprints" to a degree. She'll read some marketing figures from Podunk U and be sold!</p>
<p>If the parents are expected to pay, I think they get a say. That's how it works at our house. : )</p>
<p>One could argue that teenagers are much more susceptible to advertisement and marketing tricks, so flooding teenagers with glossy brochures is even more unethical than targeting parents. </p>
<p>I am not a parent but I think that parents' active involvement in their children's college search and application process is generally a good thing. "Dictating where a child goes to school" is taking it one step too far (in most cases at least), but why should parents not make suggestions, offer their insights and even push their child into the 'right' direction? Ideally parents have a lot more life experience and can look at the situation from a more neutral point of view.</p>
<p>I agree that parents should have the final say in regards to paying. Its just that its more of a turnoff for me as an applicant going over my head to enlist my parents. </p>
<p>My parents have had zero input on my college search. That isn't to say that they don't care, they have been really supportive- shutting my ass to SATs, bankrolling college visits, ect. Most importantly, all the insights that my mom has offered me came in the form of actual observations that she gleaned from campus visits or from conversations we had about colleges and not from the marketing literature that she received in the mail.</p>
<p>davnasca,</p>
<p>I guess it's no different than marketing nursing homes to 40-something-year-olds. ;) Some things are joint family decisions and college is one of them. It makes sense to get everyone on board.</p>
<p>Much of the stuff that comes to our house (D's test scores not that impressive) seems to be aimed at a ten year old mentality. We constantly get stuff from one whose message is "We're on the BEACH!!! We're ON THE BEACH!!!! DID WE SAY WE're ON THE BEACH?!!" Another one sent us a big pop up multicolored accordian brochure advertising that "We're Three Dimensional!!" but no one could possibly read the verbiage amidst the origami.</p>
<p>This kind of advertising must work, or they wouldn't do it. That's the only ethic advertisers follow.</p>
<p>Colleges realize that for many families it is the parents who are doing the research and making the decisions. See the helicoptor parenting thread!</p>
<p>I think it's important for the schools to also send information to the parent instead of just the applicant. 4 reasons:</p>
<ol>
<li>It's "Probably" the parent who is mostly involved financially with their kid's college.</li>
<li>Parent's need to feel comfortable with their child's safety, education, school facilities, clubs, etc... (Kids might not show all the info to parent and not all parents are as Internet savy as many here might be. The snail mail may be the only information they get).</li>
<li>Parents have been gradually grooming their kids to make more and more decisions themselves. That is good. However; you can't just wake up one day and put the entire college decision into the student's hands. Which college they go to can be one of the most important decisions that will be made for their future. This isn't the time to just throw the baby bird out of the nest and tell them to fly.</li>
<li>Most teens getting ready for college out of high school are very impressionable. All of a sudden there's someone (A college) saying how much they "Want Them". Everyone likes to feel needed or wanted. At this age it's very important. With a number of colleges telling the student this, it's easy for the student to go after schools that might not be right for them. Educationally, financially, or socially.</li>
</ol>
<p>While I understand the college's motivation is marketing and trying to get the student in, there are definitely positives to contacting the parents also. It is definitely NOT undermining. If your parents are involved with paying for your education, then it's not undermining. Companies send information all the time to "Stock Holders". That's because the stock holder is the one financially allowing the company to exist. Well; your parents (If they are paying) are your stock holder. As far as condescending; that is a perception you need to get over. If you think that you are 100% capable of choosing the right school and paying for it; then I can see how it may feel condescending. As though they are treating you as a child. The truth is; the majority of perspective students aren't able to with 100% objectivity choose the best school for them. They tend to look at the social side of the school, the weather, recreation, status, and a host of other issues. Even with marketing, corresponding with the parents is not meant to be condescending.</p>
<p>Christcorp
I couldn't agree with you more! My Ds are in a very different position than I was when I was looking for colleges. I was the first in my family to even graduate from High School. They were really unable to help me find the best "fit" for a college and I ended up in an excellent college that was not a good place for me. However, my girls have two parents with college backgrounds and have some insight on what makes for a good "fit". We (the parents) have made suggestions based on our experiences and information that we received but our Ds made the decisions on their own. I think marketing to the parents is a good idea as long as the parents are able to "read between the lines" and not be swayed by pretty pictures and "on the beach" type statements.
davnasca,
Try not to let any of this get to you. The colleges are businesses. They want as many applicants as they can get and they will use any and all means available to them to influence you to apply to their school.</p>
<p>The "Parents of" mail I get these days is usually a request for a donation. Heck, we're still paying them tuition, I think it's a bit much to ask for donations, too.</p>
<p>NR4P</p>
<p>That really yanks my hubby's chain too. We love our son's school and are likely to donate generously when he's done, but while they're students, it seems a bit premature to be asking for money.</p>