<p>As application season comes to a close my DD has had a second wind of emails and snail mails encouraging her to apply to various schools. One of these schools also sent an email addressed to: The Parents of DD. It went on to explain why we should encourage DD to apply by the deadline.</p>
<p>This is not the first letter we have received. I understand why schools do this, after all parents are a major influence on where DC chooses to apply. However, I find it quite off-putting. I want my DD to drive the process, and I want her to own her choices once she is in college. These letters make me feel like the school is not taking her seriously as an adult and as the decision maker.</p>
<p>I am curious if others feel the same. Is this a marketing strategy that backfires?</p>
<p>The only e-mail directed to me from a college was from one of the schools to which he applied; I believe the application asked for a parent e-mail address. It was a nice e-mail informing me that he had applied and directing me to various info sources if I had questions.</p>
<p>I’ve received several snail mail letters from colleges addressed “to the parents of…” with financial information (i.e., Don’t tell your child you can’t afford Yale! You might be surprised).</p>
<p>My son ignored ALL of the marketing materials sent to him by colleges, whether snail or e-mail, considering it all spam. Plus, I’ve heard college admin reps say the most common mistake students make is missing deadlines. So perhaps the admissions office figured a heads-up to parents might not be a bad idea.</p>
<p>I received some emails from Mt Holyoke from a parent telling us how wonderful the school was for her daughter. Like you, I found it a bit off-putting (not to mention that the whole tone of the letter made me SURE Mt Holyoke wasn’t for her-- talking about how well-mannered the girls are as a prime reason to go there!). I got these in the “decision time” month of April.</p>
<p>For people who are offended by this, are you saying your kid is making all the decisions when it comes to college? A kid who has never made a decision for anything with value greater than probably few thousand dollars (if that), all of a sudden is now able to make a decision which would probably cost 250k+. No, my kid would not be the only decison maker when it comes to the college process.</p>
<p>I agree here with oldfort. I would actually appreciate being involved in a decision this large, which I am funding. Plus they still are in high school, for the most part under 18, I don’t have any problem being included.</p>
<p>I’ve had a couple of letters, but since Happykid only applied to the local CC the first time around, handed out her info at only one college fair, never took any standardized exams (long story for another thread), and has only toured four campuses, the correspondence has been minimal. Yay!</p>
<p>Would I be influenced by a “Dear Parent” letter? Only if it included these words: “We are so delighted to be able to tell you that Happykid has been awarded a full-ride scholarship that includes all costs including (among other items) tuition, fees, housing, meals, books, materials, spending money, local transportation and long-distance transportation to and from Perfect College twice each year.”</p>
<p>I would not mind hearing from colleges where my DD had been accepted. I totally agree that the finances make that decision a family decision. But these are letters and emails from colleges inviting her to apply. That is why I find them ineffective. I want the school to talk directly to my child about why the school is a good fit for her. I want her to be at a school that treats her as the primary “customer”.</p>
<p>I also found that many of them speak to stereotypes of what parents might want that actually have no bearing for my daughter. Like the ones that talk about how they provide a good education and safe environment based on Christian values … we are not Christians. At least for us writing the parents has the opposite effect of wanting DC to apply to the school.</p>
<p>My D put my email on her first PSAT test app… ever since I have gotten lots of emails. On her actual SAT she used her own email. We have both gotten quite a few emails the last couple of weeks to “apply here”… I look forward to the cut off for the college mail, but I am sure the postman will be doing cartwheels when the college mail stops coming lol</p>
<p>D1 went to a college she couldn´t imagine attending. She was convinced it wasn´t a good “fit” for her. She based it on her 17 year old idea of what she was going to be doing in college - hanging out at cafes, clubbing at night, and maybe doing some work during the day. Her first choice school didn´t have classes on Fri, so she thought it would be fabulous to go away for long weekends.</p>
<p>Most marketing is effective, whether it´s to parents or students. CalTech´s marketing material was to tell D1 how much fun its students have on weekends - yes, they go mountain climbing. D1 threw it in the trash bin after she read about hiking for fun.</p>
<p>My favorite ever was a letter sent by ASU to a friend of mine; his response back is below it. It was published in the newspaper and then picked up by quite a few other papers:</p>
<p>THE ACCEPTANCE LETTER
To the parent or guardian of Truman Bradley
Dear Parent or Guardian:
Congratulations on 987-45-4321’s admission to Arizona State University! We commend you for the significant role that you have played in helping him to prepare for this exciting and critically important time. A.S.U. is committed to providing an outstanding collegiate experience, and we are pleased that he has chosen to take advantage of this tremendous opportunity. We are fully prepared to assist 987-65-4321 in making a successful transition from high school to college.
We also recognize that even though your relationship with 987-65-4321 may change in the next four years, the importance of that relationship will not diminish. At Arizona State University, we value your continued participation in his academic, social and personal development and actively seek your support in that endeavor. Whether through involvement in the A.S.U. Parents Association, attendance at numerous events for A.S.U. parents, or the occasional visit to campus, you will be a partner with the university in encouraging 987-65-4321 to succeed.
We look forward to seeing you at an orientation program and during A.S.U. Welcome Week prior to the start of the fall semester. Information about these programs has been mailed to 987-65-4321. Many of the activities during both events are designed specifically for you. In the meantime, contact the A.S.U. Parent Program office… if you have any questions or concerns.
Sincerely,
President, A.S.U. Parents Association
Assistant Director, Parent Programs </p>
<p>THE FATHER’S REPLY
Dear ____:
Thank you for offering our son, 987-65-4321, or as we affectionately refer to him around the house - 987 - a position in the A.S.U. class of 2003. His mother, 123-45-6MOM and I are very happy that such a prestigious institution of higher education such as A.S.U. has extended this offer.
In selecting a college for 987, we are looking for a place that will prepare him for the technological challenges of the 21st century. We seek a college in which he can learn to master computers and learn to communicate with clarity and sensitivity. I can only imagine the competence with which you will, as your letter puts so well, “assist 987-65-4321 in making a successful transition from high school to college.”
We will miss 987 when he goes off to school, and are very interested in a college in which he will receive personal attention. I was particularly touched by your sentence in which you note that our “relationship with 987-65-4321 may change in the next few years.” This is certainly true. Already we are beginning to focus as well on his brother, 123-45-6BRO.
I look forward to additional communications from your office. You manage to convey more in your letters than any other college we have seen thus far.
Sincerely,
123-45-6DAD
A.k.a. Jeff Bradley</p>
<p>I’ve received a few emails that confirm my kid has applied to the school and resources to check out for parents since they recognize it’s a family decision for most people. I appreciate being kept in the loop because my kid is very independent and has not been so forthcoming about her application process. Yes, she is driving a lot of the process, but at the end of the day, we are paying for it and will have some input into the final decision. But if I were REALLY honest, I would admit I am just hoping there’s choices involved!!</p>
<p>Jaylynn – I think they did send quite an abject apology, but the story had really been picked up by quite a few newspapers by then. Truman didn’t end up at ASU.</p>