<p>Oh, you mean that you told them what schools you were applying to and then told them which ones wait listed or rejected. There was your mistake. </p>
<p>note for future - limit information to parent to only that which will make them happy.</p>
<p>I strenously disagree that this young man should try to find out “why.”. For what? To give his parents more ammunition against him? “see, I told you you should have taken up chess / the oboe / won the science fair / been president of student council”?</p>
<p>I think HE wants to know why because he is considering getting off WL. He doesn’t need to tell his parents why. I think it bothers him just as much as it bothers his parents. He is trying to find closure himself, which sometimes may not be possible and one must then move on. This is not closed for him yet because to him there are still 5 possibilities for him.</p>
<p>It is what I am reading between the lines. I could be wrong.</p>
<p>What if there is no why? It just is?</p>
<p>Attenuation – for both you and your parents – what went wrong is the one thing you cannot control: luck.
The results of college admissions are often confusing.</p>
<p>You sound like an uber candidate and will continue to be successful in life as long as you continue on the path that has gotten you this far which has been to work hard and learn as much as you can. Many years from now when you look back on this period perhaps you will have met some special person/people that you would never have met had you gone to Harvard or Princeton. A decade ago a friend’s daughter was offered condolences by her high school peers because she was “only accepted” at a second tier school. She ended up being nominated as a Rhodes Scholar which would not have happened had she gone to an Ivy.</p>
<p>There are many paths to success. remember – life is the journey not the destination. It is often the unexpected curveballs thrown at you as you move through life which make it interesting. You have alot of options – make the most of them and good luck to you.</p>
<p>Pizzagirl - that’s a life lesson too. “It is what it is.” Sometimes we think what we we can’t have is better than what we already have.</p>
<p>I’m only considering getting off the waitlist for one, maybe two schools. the others i declined the waitlist; i wouldn’t go even if a spot opened for me. it does bother me, but not really because i was waitlisted, but because my parents keep talking about the waitlist schools (specifically harvard) so much more than they are about the school i currently have set my sights on (which is a good distance from where i live 
). of course, i personally am curious about why i might have been waitlisted, but am not as driven in trying to find and and would not be sad at all if i didn’t get off either waitlist; i know that my chances are very, very small given the way waitlists function. the problem is, my parents don’t, and think that by analyzing where i must have been “weak” i can compensate for that by sending in a magical waitlist letter. … right.</p>
<p>again, i appreciate all your responses.</p>
<p>Hi, Attenuation.
I know the dynamic of a different generation. I read “The Joy Luck Club” by Amy Tan. I’m sure that you are going to succeed. Don’t forget that your parents love you; however they belong to a different generation. If I tell you the stories of my ancestors… you probably will laugh or cry. You are a new generation… and improved one! Best wishes.</p>
<p>haha, i actually read that book about six years ago and made my parents watch the movie, but all they could focus on were the “corrupted americanized kids.” sigh.</p>
<p>I’m sorry I still don’t get why people who are unknowledgeable and unsophisticated about a culture get treated as if they are the sole arbiters of what is prestigious.</p>
<p>:( this is not working. i have been yelled at multiple times each day for the past two weeks. NOT COOL. not cool.</p>
<p>I wholly agree with oldfort about getting your GC involved with your 1-2 fav WL schools. That is their job, and they likely already have a fairly good feel for where you stand. But by calling your WL schools now and/or after May 1, in addition to finding out the ad com’s position on you, specifically, GC will also be able to gauge the school’s WL situation generally and, as you come from a “feeder” type competitive HS, your chances of getting off the WL compared others from your school who might also be WL’d at the same schools. </p>
<p>To illustrate, my DD’s GC approached me the other night to share her take on my DD’s chance of getting off her one WL (if she decides to try). GC said (a) the ad com had previously raved about DD’s essay, which is a heavily weighted factor at the WL school, and (b) because the 1 kid accepted to that school and 2 other kids WL’d to that school had all decided to go elsewhere, the GC was now free to push hard for my DD as the sole candidate from our HS to attend the WL school (where our school’s students have had a good track record, thus are considered desirable). Factor (c) is negative–the WL is extraordinarily huge; but related thereto, factor (d) is a slight positive–the school is pricey, so it’s expected they’ll have to reach fairly deep into the WL. (Like Harvard, the school is need-blind, so ability to pay shouldn’t come into play. If you have a WL school that is need-sensitive and you aren’t applying for FA, that is arguably a positive factor for your WL push.) Factor (e) is positive–geographic; (f) is negative–unhooked and good but unremarkable ECs; (g) is positive–demonstrated interest; and (h) is neutral–DD can show maintenance of senior grades & ECs, but no spectacular “new news.” </p>
<p>Good luck.</p>
<p>TXArtemis - that’s great analysis your GC did for your daughter, best of luck to her. The only thing I would add is even need-blind schools will most likely take full paying students over FA students, this year especially. Even Harvard is cutting costs, so they must also be feeling the pinch.</p>
<p>Pizzagirl - they are the sole arbiters for OP because they are his parents. Unless he decides to have nothing to do with them any more, he is going to have to work with the situation. Who are we to judge whether they are right or wrong. I could see their point, but I don’t agree with the way they are going about it, which is to make OP feel bad.</p>
<p>OP - it is not an easy situation for you. I am not sure if there is anything you could do about it, or change your parents mind. Do you think your GC could have a conversation with your parens? Maybe hearing it from your GC would make your parents understand better. If not, then you will need to just tune them out. Put up with it for a few more months, and you’ll be free. Trust me, this is not the worst thing to have to put up with parents.</p>