<p>Hello!
Dear candidates out there, would someone please help me with my situation?
My parents do not seem to approve of me going to boarding school. Or even applying. Despite my effort to persuade them that this is a good idea, they do not seem to be swayed.
I already go to a (in some ways) prestigious school here in Asia. It's international, got pretty intense academics, advanced technology, etc. It is a nice place. But I want to go somewhere better. My parents do not understand the "better place" concept. </p>
<p>My Argument:
1. It's in America. I like America. (Prepares me for life later on. Sometimes I feel like I can do nothing here in China. Maybe just my problem though...)
2. More extracurricular choices than current school.
3. Experience for being independent. (<-Sounds like I'm running away or something. Haha.)</p>
<p>Parents' Argument:
1. So far away from Asia.
2. The money. (We're not poor though.)
3. Mean, snobby, and filthy rich kids in boarding schools. (I know that not ALL people are like that, but they're convinced that everyone is like that.¬¬)
4. "Not the only choice."</p>
<p>Please help me! Would those who are roughly in the same boat as I am give me a few tips? Can parents please tell me what you folks think of boarding school in general? </p>
<p>THANK YOU VERY MUCH! <em>bow</em></p>
<p>(I think that if I were to get in maybe that could make them seem my perspective a bit more. But I'm not going to get ahead of myself, since I also happen to need my parents for the fees and for traveling to America for interviews and tours, etc. I have tried showing them websites and viewbooks of schools I wish to attend, but they did not even bother taking a look. They lectured me saying that I am deceived by what the school wants me to see.)</p>
<p>I don’t want to get your hopes up but some admission teams travel to Asia. Can only suggest you check or contact the schools your self via email inquiring if they will be in your theater. I know that St. George’s for example seems to do an annual trip to China. Meantime request brochures from multiple schools to be mailed to your home in hopes that maybe Mom or Dad might pick one up and take a look. Good luck.</p>
<p>^^Loomis Chaffee also does admission presentations and interviews at various locations in Asia. Check the Admissions portion of the website if interested…</p>
<p>You could always pull the “Successful Person X went to Exover Academy” thing.</p>
<p>But more important, I think is you connecting with an international student from the forum who may have been in your shoes and is now at or graduated from an American BS. Hopefully one will show up and send you a PM soon.</p>
<p>Have to say, I’m with your parents. You already go to a good school. It IS very, very far. It IS expensive–not just tuition, but travel back and forth. In a few short years, you can go to college in the States. I don’t agree with concern number 3, but 1,2, and 4 all have real validity.</p>
<p>I guess I’m in the same situation as you, except I’m actually in America, and my parents think that everyone at BS doesn’t do anything except study, and that I’m going to be the stupidest person there (if I’m lucky enough to get in)
My dad was actually the one who told me about boarding school, and he said that I should try it for a year. (just freshmen…but then i’ll make all my friends and then leave!) My mom wasn’t exactly enthusiastic about the idea…she has the same perspective as your parents. (“You’ll use up all of your college fund to go there!”)
But anyways, try telling them that there’s not really any harm in applying. I mean, the worst case scenario is that you spend all that time and effort and money and got rejected everywhere. Can your parents live with that? The only real loss for them is the money, and I don’t think that’s THAT big of a problem…</p>
<p>I agree with Seven Dad. Showing the important figures thet went to those schools. Of course you can always request info and show them some of the letters and discs… Good luck</p>
<p>@ops Yes I know… I have already done my Hotchkiss interview. I have checked some schools’ timetables for traveling around my area. I have requested a pretty big amount of viewbooks. Although my mom picks them up, she just gives them straight to me. I have once given her one but I don’t think she was paying attention =3= @SevenDad Haha! Well, to me, the successful person X is Dan Brown. He graduated from Exeter, no? I told my parents that and they couldn’t care less. They’re not Dan Brown fans like I am. @classicalmama AWH! Hm… Well, could you please tell me what would make you look at those points in a more… uh, MY perspective? In what ways will you be swayed that my points are pretty valid too? @PaperIdeas Yeah, I think they realize that its okay to just apply. But then I think that they also think that it’s too troublesome (it IS, but I think it’s worth it). I think that my parents will get mad at me if I apply and I don’t get in. They’re strict and expectant of me that way, I guess. They would say that I’m stupid for even dreaming… etc. Yeah… On the other hand they would be mad if I applied and got in anyways… Hm, how contradicting. @LeoBro They never pay attention to much that I say though… I give them something and they just put it aside and I have to keep reminding them and they get angry at me for being “pushy”. Sigh…</p>
<p>Thanks for replying, everyone! I have gained some ideas and insight to how parents think. Hehe I’ll keep on trying to convince them… :)</p>
<p>I hope you can try to get into these schools with your parents help. They matter a lot, and if they are against your idea then it won’t really get anywhere.</p>
<p>What I always suggest in this situation is to ask your parents to join CC and post their concerns to the [Prep</a> School Parents](<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/prep-school-parents/][u]Prep”>Prep School Parents - College Confidential Forums) forum. Offer to help them if language is an issue. But if they think “all kids are snobs” or the viewbooks are just slick marketing campaigns, they should ask the parents on this forum what we think. Explain that they can do it completely anonymously - they can even do it without you knowing who they are, if they wish. And we will answer their questions as honestly as we can.</p>
<p>I am kind of in the same situation as clairee and paperideas. Anytime I slightly hint at the idea of boarding school, my mom says something along the lines of “Say what you want, but you know that boarding school is for kids whos parents have alot of money and don’t want to deal with their kids.”. Before she was going on about how boarding school is just for troubled kids. I try to tell her that there is no way that everyone at boarding school (or even the majority at boarding school) are unwanted kids! I was shocked when she told me that she told all my teachers of my crazy idea. She said that they all said the same thing as her. I couldn’t stand the bickering so I just ended it with “Well I know that my teachers have no first-hand experience with boarding school, you don’t have any first-hand experience, neither do I, so it looks like we will never no the truth unless we take a look.” At this point, I just want her to be a bit more open minded about the idea and not come to the conclusion that all other high school options suck.</p>
<p>if somehow you can get your parents or teachers to look into the GLADCHEMMS schools, these schools are basically the ivy league equivalent for high school, they prepare you for leadership and for life, and for finding out what you are good at early on in life which give you an edge. there are many good schools in the US or locally, but top BS (and top day school in NY and Boston) are a very different animal than local school (even the magnet schools). </p>
<p>maybe a way to get your parents to start thinking differently is to get them to consider United World Colleges first - it’s free (everyone is on scholarship, no rich kids there), and its hard academically (so not slacking off), and it’s boarding. as UWC in my opinion is equivalent to GLADCHEMMS type BS, maybe they can start at looking at UWC first, and once they understand the difference of UWC with a local schools, then you can get them to also consider BS as an alternative to UWC<br>
good luck</p>
<p>@clairee; If you don’t mind me asking, what school in China do you go to? I also go to a relatively good school in China right now. I applied for boarding school last year but was wait-listed at every single school except for Andover, who just flat out rejected me. I will be trying again this year, for many different reasons. </p>
<p>My parents are actually the exact opposite of yours though, it seems. They’re very encouraging of me going to boarding school, but for the wrong reasons. My parents are stereotypical Chinese parents who want me to go to boarding school so I will get into an Ivy League university, preferably either Harvard or Yale. My dad basically forbade me from applying to any school that is not ranked within the top ten boarding schools.</p>
<p>What I suggest you do is try to show them that you really are dedicated to going to boarding school and that you will excel there just as much if not more than you do at your current school. You could check out schools like Thacher or Cate which are in California, which will save you about five or six hours on the flight from China to America. Explain to your parents that neither they nor you can judge the people at boarding school because you’ve never been there and tell them that you want to take a chance because you believe this is the right thing to do for YOUR life. </p>
<p>@LeoBro Yeah… I really need them for this. @dodgersmom Sure! I’ll tell them to check it out! I hope the parents there can help her understand boarding school more. @overandover98 Yeah! Sigh… Someone really needs to show them what boarding school is actually like. Even if boarding school has troubled kids, it’s a minority. And every school has its own “troubled kids” anyways. D: @hkdad123 My parents seemed a bit more interested when I said that those boarding schools are the best etc. But the thing is that I am really not the best student, and I just don’t plan to be. (Not in like a slacking off way, but in more of a “I’ll work really hard but not drown myself in studying” kind of way.) I know that I don’t really have a chance there. Sigh… So even if I try to apply for those schools, I’ll probably end up getting rejected or waitlisted. That will only make them angrier and I probably wouldn’t be apply again the next year. @aaralyn I go to SAS. (If you live in the same city, you would know.) Ahh… those type of parents… Is it alright for me to say that I almost feel bad for you? Haha my father’s the same too. When I told him I want to go to a boarding school he said that if it’s not the top 20 then he won’t let me go, because it’s a waste of money. Hehe yeah I’ve been trying to convince them that even though their way of being the best was really quite different (they were born in poor families and worked EXTREMELY hard), MY way of life shouldn’t be affected by what happened to them. Since they didn’t have the resources, I feel that I should take great advantages of the resources I get, no? Thanks. :)</p>
<p>OHMYGOD Puxi or Pudong? Haha it’s alright, I feel bad for myself too. xD I understand though, my parents also had to work incredibly hard just to go to the USA. & No problem.</p>
<p>HAHA yeah I know. I go to Puxi though, not Pudong. And if I’m correct in assuming that you’re applying to be a freshman, I’m in the grade above you. xD</p>
Thanks. :)</p>