As someone who grew up in the Central Valley of CA where the nearest “city” was 2 hours away (instead our “rural” “towns” had 100-200K people, LOL), and then went to school and lived in LA and also worked in the Bay Area, but has since spent a couple decades living in NJ and working/commuting in NYC, I actually find the NJ Turnpike more enjoyable than driving on major CA interstates in the major metros. On average traffic isn’t as bad (except right around the approach to either tunnel or bridge to NYC), all the trucks are required to stay on one of the two parallel highways so you have an option to avoid them, there are more lanes on average, the rest stops are more convenient (in CA there really isn’t a concept of a rest stop with actual things like gas an food – you have to truly leave the freeway and get onto city streets). Fewer entrances/exits also disrupt traffic less. I still spend a lot of time in CA for work and because most of our relatives and longer term friends are there, so I’m still exposed to Bay Area and LA freeways often. I would take the Turnpike over the 405 or 10 in LA or the 101 or 880 in the Bay Area any day.
@AnonMomof2 In addition to the other excellent suggestions from previous posters, your D should also arrange a meeting with her ALEX advisor. I’m not sure if you know that Hamilton students are assigned 3 different advisors. She has an academic advisor, a career advisor, and an ALEX advisor. The ALEX advisor is to help with the nonacademic aspects of college. Their primary purpose is help your D integrate into the college and find activities she enjoys as an outlet. So you may want to check in with her and suggest an appointment with the ALEX advisor for help finding her place and others who share similar interests beyond dance.
I forgot about the ALEX advisor. I will do that. Thanks.
Hi!
Asking your guidance for my freshman daughter in Comp Engineering . She tried to get in to couple of clubs such as App development and start up and she didn’t get in. She told me the interview had went well and one person who got in has similar skills like her . She told they were competitive. She is just feeling a bit down as these were two activities she was really interested.
Any suggestions/Recommendations ? I told her to keep trying and something will work out!
I shared my experience in college and assured her she will find something and eventually it all will work out.
What has worked for you guys and your kids? Just wondering.
There will be other people in her situation. She could look for a club with more open access, or start her own club… that is how many of these clubs get started! My son was lucky to get in to his first choice engineering club, but also had backup ideas of clubs that accept everyone. I hope she isn’t discouraged, the rejection might have nothing to do with her (they might be looking for people with a specific skill set or interest).
Yup who knows! Yes she is feeling a bit dejected.
I hope things get better. Poor kid is been through a lot of our family related stress. I hope she finds her tribe and makes best of these years.
I’m so sorry, rejection is no fun 
There is Atlantic article about this that came out last month- Rejected From an Extracurricular at Yale? Join the Club. - The Atlantic) and YCBK podcast just did an episode about this. Perhaps it helps for her to understand that she’s not the only one going through this!
I will read it and will share. She told me that Facebook was started as MZ was rejected from many clubs! She is pretty resilient. As a fourteen year old she gave a TEDx talk in her school titled
“ Rethinking Failure!” Which was awesome! Maybe time for her to implement her own ideas.
I hate the competitive club scene! The hoops S had to jump through for club admission were ridiculous (personal statement, project, and interview) only to be rejected from most of the clubs to which he applied. I’m sorry to hear your daughter was a casualty of this inane process.
First, I would reassure her: it’s not you, it’s them. The club recruitment system is broken. Second, encourage her to explore clubs that have no application requirements and are open to everyone. She will meet people who share her interests and she may also meet people who can be allies during the next round of club recruitment. Third, prepare for the next round of club recruitment by honing her skills (I know! It’s silly but it’s part of the game). It doesn’t seem fair that kids with experience are often chosen, but that is how it is especially in technical clubs where leadership neither has the time nor inclination to train novices. Lastly, if all else fails or she doesn’t want to go through club recruitment again, start her own club with friends. My D started a club with friends and found it challenging yet rewarding.
Chin up. I know the rejection stings right now but it’s a minor setback, not the end of the world.
Yes absolutely! She has joined activities such as dancing and loves it.
But not just technical clubs even many of the non technical ones seems competitive too. She had her heart set on start up as she has two projects that she wanted to develop, well this is what it is and she has to deal with it just like how she dealt being waitlisted in five top institutions and didn’t get in.
It’s okay just trying to find how everyone deals with such things.
Thanks for your encouragement.
For the board - sorry @mountainsoul but based on your and @swan1 comments and we’ve read similar many times b4 from others.:
I just read all these and I wonder - why is everyone paying $80K+ again (ok, those without need) and tripping over themselves to get into these elite institutions?
The competition to get into these clubs are ridiculous. I don’t understand why it needs to be that way.
My D also experienced her fair share of rejections her freshmen year. She only got into 1 club out of many that she applied. She’s at a large in-state public. But she kept applying and found ways to improve her writing and interview skills. She got into a 2nd club the summer after Freshmen year. She’s a sophomore now and going through the grind again. Not sure if her success rate is any better; however, i think the practice makes the process easier and good preparation for summer internships and job interviews.
Tell her to hang in there and keep applying. I think it does get easier as she gains more experience and become more confident of the interview process.
I am also wondering the same!
Definitely. But as far as I know and per her teacher and mentors, she has great skills in speech and engaging people in conversations.
Well there is always room for improvement. She got 96% in Speech presentation skills in one of those mandatory classes for her live n learn program.
Unfortunately, I feel like these clubs are like college admissions again. There’s no transparency. You have no clue why you were not selected. But I guess that’s like the real world. Potential employers aren’t going to tell you why you weren’t chosen.
As parents, we can only encourage our kids to not give up and keep trying.
Hope your D will find the right club for her.
While I won’t go into the reasons why S chose his college, I am interested to hear from others about club recruitment at their child’s college. I am under the impression that engineering design (e.g. robotics, racing, etc.) and/or select business clubs are hard to get into at most colleges. What is your experience?
It depends on the school! Some schools have open clubs, others have competitive entry. It actually ended up being something on my D’s list after a few visits, especially since some of the most competitive teams had open clubs. Purdue’s engineering teams all seemed open to anyone (Michigan too I believe).
That’s amazing and not at all what I would have guessed. 
My son was in two. As far as I’m aware, it was just a join/sign up.
But I do know he was a bit disappointed in his assignments - that the Juniors and Seniors got the plum gigs.
I get it - it’s like high school sports - for the first time, it’s not a participation trophy. It’s competitive.
But if I’m paying, my kid better have a chance. Or why am I paying??
Truth is though, there are disappointed kids at all schools and all levels of school.
My son is an engineering freshman at a large private that isn’t well-known for its engineering program. There is open admission to any club he wants and he’s already fully participating in the projects. Similarly, the marching band and pep band are open admission. I’m super glad for this for a few reasons. One is that he’s slow to make friends. Another is that he’s introverted and I don’t know that he’d pursue the clubs if there were barriers to admission/participation. I think he has joined 3 or 4 by now? His friends at large publics mostly aren’t having the same experience with clubs, but are still enjoying their schools so far.