My C19’s experience at Mississippi State is that all engineering clubs, including the design and affinity groups, there are open to everyone. (Leaving aside honor societies like ΤΒΠ, of course.)
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At S23’s school (UCB) some engineering clubs are open to all who are interested, while others (like the two race car teams) have a process where they announce a recruitment project, applicants work on the project and are selected on that basis. Applicants get help on the projects and from what my son said, it sounded like a good learning experience with applicants feeling positive about the process.
The business consulting clubs sound a more competitive in a negative way, though. I was glad that my son wasn’t trying out for those.
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Happy for him!
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Looks like engineering and business clubs are hard to get in. I am glad she joined the dance group and loving it. I have already asked her to help us with our big anniversary dance!
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Because I do not consider the competitive club culture part of what the $85k is for! To me and many others it is for peer fit, smaller highly challenging classes, excellent faculty & advising. The peer fit of intense intellectual curiosity and all the rest commonly leads to at least some competitive club culture. And it exists not just at the super-elite! At least one of our in-state flagship-types is extremely competitive with clubs yet does not have small classes or the right peer fit, nor as many non-competitive clubs or groups open to all.
Is there a better way? Probably! But these are student-run and if one looks at all the options there are plenty of non-application clubs at these super -elite schools that are just as worthwhile. Or start your own. Or dive into research with faculty which is easy at this type of school, even as freshmen. Not always getting to do what you want and sometimes not being picked and /or not being one of the best is important to the emotional growth experience, perhaps especially for those who were used to being excellent at almost everything in HS. Maybe I am biased because I went to one of these and survived and thrived and grew from it.
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My kids’ school has open clubs and workshops, but students have to try out for the competitive teams within those clubs. It seems fair. All can go to the meetings and workshops to learn, but only some compete for the school.
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For arts kids (theater, dance, music) auditioning for places is part of the deal. If you let ego get in the way when you don’t make the cut you’ll never be successful. Apparently business and engineering aren’t used to this and find it distressing? Or their parents do? There are always less competitive options if you don’t get into the more competitive ones or you can try again the next year. Or maybe try something new.
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Yeah, my D19 was theater tech and so she didn’t have to audition for anything but there was still a selection process for getting the plum assignments – and theater, in and of itself, ensures that there will be No Other Life in college 
So she didn’t try to join anything else at WVU and was still flat out every night, six nights a week.
Now S23, at Bama, discovered for the first time that he was not destined to join everything he wanted to, and he has handled it very well. (Probably because of the GF, hahaha.)
He tried out for club volleyball - nope. Student government - nope. Mock trial - nope. But he did get voted in to the Blount council, picked as an ensemble actor in a workshop, and he made undergraduate law review, which he’s thrilled about. (Not sure of the point of an undergrad law review, but very happy for him!)
He’s also volunteering every week to teach Spanish to elementary school kids, which I am thrilled about.
All that, plus 16 credit hours, plus his job, and I have a very very busy and happy kid.
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I guess my D23 is lucky that her interests align with clubs that were not difficult to join at her university. She was able to join all that interested her. She is playing club tennis, and despite being an average player, was one of two freshmen selected (not based on skill obviously 
) to travel to St. Louis this weekend for a match. She also joined the Model UN club and will be attending a conference in November. She is a global studies/IR major and was president of the Model UN at her h.s., so she is happy she can participate in college as well. She is in several other clubs, but not sure what sort of activities there are for the others and how active they are.
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These two quotes summed up a lot of what I’ve been thinking through this conversation. D20, D23 and S24 all did competitive sports and arts programs so have dealt with a fair share of not getting a desired outcome: not making 1st chair, not chosen for elite training group, not getting into desired orchestra, etc.
Disappointing for sure. Sometimes the ‘no’ inspired the child to work harder get better and get the yes at the next attempt, sometimes the ‘no’ made the child reconsider whether they wanted what they had tried to get or not. But important to go through that, and in my opinion the earlier children have that experience the better off they are.
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I am just trying to understand this process just like how I tried to understand the college admission process. You are right it is easier to deal in Art subjects than engineering. I would have expected more definable criteria for their selection, well just like what I learnt about college process that it has a huge element of luck and balancing their institutional needs, may be competitive clubs are also like that. I hope it does not affect her self esteem or curiosity to learn and her future prospects. It’s only freshman year she has plenty of time left.
Thank God my D is not like me! I give up at the earliest failure! I’lose interest if I have to work beyond my natural capacity. May be because I give my best usually and if that’s not good enough I move on!
Just another majority of people on the planet.
I sure hope no one is paying that much because of clubs? They better look into golfing.
Also, from what I read here, limited-size clubs also exist in public universities.
I‘ll have to ask my daughter next time I speak to her; she had been involved in 4 projects/clubs that matched her interests perfectly, dropping one after the first year. I had never inquired (and she never volunteered) if they had been competitive (or if she had tried others without getting in) — but now I‘m curious.
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Well there’s a Dartmouth ED thread right now and I don’t know the parents finances - but they haven’t visited and the appeal of Dartmouth is an extracurricular. So someone may be…
Sorry to hear. Always tough to watch our kids have setbacks, but they learn to be resilient. My son is at a top 20 and was rejected at every turn his freshman year and thought about transferring schools. Luckily he decided to hang in and try again. He is now a senior and has grown so much having to overcome initial rejections. Ended up in a few clubs and professional fraternities taking in leadership and mentoring roles. It sounds a little simple, but I truly believe the key is just to not give up and try again. He learned so much about himself by evaluating everything from his resume to interviewing style. The rejection situation definitely helped strengthen his approach to internship and job interviews.
Good luck in all her future attempts!
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No angst here just offering solutions to OP. I’m a recovering club sports and arts parent so I sympathize. Many tears have been shed in our house over rejections, team/chair placement etc. but resilience is a virtue. The kids learn, adapt, grow—it’s all good.
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Engineering project teams are very difficult to get into at S23’s university (especially as a first year), but there are some open STEM clubs (Maker Club, for example) and lots of research opportunities. If you were offered an interview for a project team there was a technical component where they asked questions to make sure you had a basic foundation for working on the team. For example, electrical and computer engineers needed to talk about their knowledge of circuits, CAD experience, components of a computer, programming languages, etc. It’s quite rigorous and most of the kids selected were part of a high school club that focused on robotics, physics, or programming. Even then, not everyone with experience was selected for a project team.
S23 had experience and could discuss all of the topics I mentioned above, but he applied to two of the most competitive engineering project teams on campus (rocketry and EV) and was rejected. He was disappointed but has already moved on and is looking at some open clubs (both STEM and non-STEM). He also plans to apply again to some teams in the spring or next fall. As @2Devils pointed out, he didn’t pick his university because of the rocketry and EV project teams. Anyone looking at engineering programs knows that many schools have at least racing and EV teams, if not a rocketry team too, so he could have had that at many of the other places he applied. Even with the rejection, he still loves his university. I think his sports background helped him with perspective…
Starting in elementary school, he played sports at not only the town/school level but also club and AAU levels. So, like other posters have mentioned, he is used to the stress of tryouts and the disappointment of rejection. D is a theater kid, so she is also accustomed to multiple rounds of auditions and stiff competition. (And that was just for basic school productions!) She still participates in theater performances at her LAC and still has the stress of auditions. It’s nothing new for her. Last summer she joked that the interview process for her internship at a financial institution was easier than the audition process for the fall play at her college!
I think people advocating for only open clubs in college need to realize that some of these project teams and clubs are capped for a reason. It’s the same with athletic teams, musical groups, and theater productions. Exactly how would 125 students all work on one robot? Would that actually be a rewarding experience for anyone? Maybe or maybe not, but it would depend on the project. I remember S’s robotics team in high school was open to everyone, and the freshmen and sophomores barely got to work on anything. It made sense to have it open because it was high school, but S was frustrated that he didn’t have much to do his first year on the team. D20 is part of an a capella group on her campus, and like all the other a capella groups, they cap the number of students at somewhere between 15-18. Again, sometimes it’s just not practical to take everybody.
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That’s encouraging. Yea for those who can persevere it is a growth opportunity!
Indeed. I guess she was affected because those two were dear to her. Well who says you can not work on your own?
May be it’s better in long run.
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Agree there are advantages and disadvantages in open clubs. All my D and we wanted is transparency. Why she was rejected so that she can work on those if she agreed.
She is a tough one and has already moved on to cleaning a Lake project today and sent me a pic of that lake with beautiful fall colors!
I hope she learned from my narcissistic life stories where I always asserted if someone didn’t want me it’s their loss!
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