Everyone:
I am interesting in applying and going to boarding school. I have told my dad and realtivies, and they are supportive. Many times I have cued my mom that I am interested, although in some cases she is rather tense and hostile. We have got the financial support, I just know I need to include my mom in this process. Should I confront her? Send her a letter?
I need advice.
Why do you want to go to boarding school ? Are there any good private or parochial day schools in your area ?
What do you expect boarding school to be like ?
Speak directly with her about it…explain why and explain that it is important to you that she be supportive and part of the process (as is clear by your post). That should help demonstrate to her your maturity and readiness for BS. Don’t expect an immediate yes…it may take time. Good luck!
@ccuser1212. I think I was that mom…of course, DS was 9 at the time, so he had more time to wear me down and show me he was serious about BS and why. If you don’t have that time and you feel the atmosphere is tense enough that a verbal conversation could be unproductive, I definitely would write a letter. Answer the questions @publisher mentions and explain why this is so important to you. Acknowledge her feelings of fear, sadness…because letting go so early is heartbreaking for us moms. And it is scary. You may need to ensure her you will make a concerted effort to stay connected daily. But I think, if you acknowledge her concerns and provide a well-thought out basis for your wanting BS, you will find she’ll not only come around, but be your biggest supporter in the endeavor. I did. And this was the best decision we ever could have made for DS. Good luck!
@ccuser1212 - I am writing this with the intention of helping out (know some will have had other experiences or disagree).
But I will share some info from our RECENT experiences***
Every school my kiddo interviewed with for entering 9th grade to BS was asked questions @ the following:
My kiddo was asked by several AOs something akin to “Are your parents on the same page?”
As a parent of a then 13-14 year old, I was asked why I was considering BS for my kiddo and why I thought my kiddo was desiring to attend…also
The reason I am sharing this with you OP is that given your post (above) it seems that there be some differences between your goals and that of your mom. Please consider the importance of having your goals in mind, and having parents expect this, prior to the interview process next year - or at least be prepared for questions on the topic during the process. This is a wonderful time to have conversations from the heart. I know one kiddo who made a chart of pro’s & con’s for going to BS - and a rationale outline of the benefits on paper.
**You can also read the CC topic thread @ “how to convince your parents to let you go to boarding school” (maybe something similar) to generate ideas for your discussion. :-@
Oh, the power of the search tool.
Regarding your Mom, she might never come around. She might have a number of reasons and that is fine. The decision to attend BS is a family matter and if she doesn’t support it, it might not happen.
I explored the options with my kiddo together collecting data and keeping an open mind. We kept my spouse in the loop on all aspects of the decision. We balanced all of the options and kept refining until we all made a decision. I cannot imagine a family spending 200K+ unless everyone was on board.
@Happytimes2001 Of course. Although, we have worked it out. If I can get some financial aid and get in, everything works out. Thanks for the advice.
Maybe you could write down a list of reasons why you would like to attend BS. One of my friends did that and her father allowed her to apply.
@highschoolgall Good idea. Thanks for the advice!