convincing parents for boarding school HELP!

Prep School Admissions
1

<p>I go to a good private day school right now, but it is smaller and doesn't have as many opportunities and the atmosphere I would prefer. I have been secretly looking at boarding schools online (my cousin went to a HADES) and "doing my homework", which involves extensive research. For the most part, I have found a broad range of schools I am interested in. However, my mother is not completely open to the idea of boarding, simply because she would miss me at home and she feels that she would rarely see me. I do not want something so petty to prevent me from seizing such a great opportunity, I feel like usually its the PARENTS trying to convince the kids to go to BS.</p>

<p>I could and will try to convince her by persuading her that it is worth it and boarding schools are actually great places, contrary to the common myth that parents send off misbehaved and disliked children to them. However, knowing her, this will not be fully sufficient. I need a reason(s) that will fully address the not being at home, lack of contact/connection with parents issue instead of directing it into the direction of great academics or programs. She is worried that I won't stay in touch and that our relationship might falter, and that she would miss me so much and feel disconnected or like an awful mom. My parents work a lot, so they put importance on spending the little free time they have with us (my brother and I). BS PARENTS: words on how u have coped with this? Any methods or systems you have put in to place?</p>

<p>ALSOO (EXTRA ADVICE) I am going into this kind of last minute due to my mom not being very open. I do very well on standardized tests, on ERB and ISEE I placed in the top 5%, will I need to study extensively for the SSAT? Also, should I have the SSAT administered by a consultant prior to the january date in case the January date results would come too late? </p>

<p>P.S. ANY other advice you have on the admissions process (particularily last minute) convincing parents (cost-wise as well, we don't qualify for FA) testing, interviews, visits, and BS life.</p>

2

<p>Once I took my mom to my interview, she loved it. She had previously been the same as your mom. She’s actually encouraging me to try hard to get in now. You’re starting applications VERY late. Just tell your parents that “Why can’t I just try, and if I get accepted, then we can talk about it.” That pretty much worked for me - they don’t think I’ll get accepted to the 3 schools I’m applying to.</p>

3

<p>I would suggest that you approach the process as exploring your options. You do not have to commit to going until the acceptance letter arrives with the financial aid contribution. My son is at Andover and we got into the process relatively late, late November early December. He only applied to 3 schools of varying selectivity. He was accepted at all three. We did not decide whether he was going away until we received the letters on March 10. It is very difficult to allow your child to go away to school because you are giving up the daily contact in person in your home. However, the benefit gained from the “controlled independence” far surpasses the experience of a day student. The preparation for college- academically and socially is superb. Learning to live away from home while there is still a safety net of adults supporting you is the best preparation for the freedom of college. Parents develop a new relationship with their boarding school children which evolves into a much richer and deeper relationship. Most parents experience this when children leave home for college. I will say that boarding school is not for every kid. An ideal candidate needs to be mature, responsible and independent enough to accept the great challenge of the whole boarding school experience. If you can get your parents to visit the schools of your choice, I am sure they will be impressed and their minds will open to the possibility.</p>

4

<p>Speaking as a parent, I am just as close to my kids who did not go to BS as I am to the two who did (one is still at BS). </p>

<p>Yes it is hard on parents. I look at it as something I’m doing for my child, just like many other choices I have made as they’ve grown up, even though this choice has more of a downside (for the parent) compared to other parental choices.</p>

<p>I’m sure you didn’t mean it to come out this way, but don’t talk about your mother’s reservations as “something so petty.” To her it’s a very big deal. Things like whether you are an only child or the last child at home can add to a parent’s apprehension. </p>

<p>I am in the boat of having my last child at BS and having a empty nest at home most of the year. It’s not what I would choose in a perfect world but when I see how my daughter is thriving and how truly happy she is every day, I know we are doing the right thing. Oh did I mention her BS is thousands of miles away and I can’t afford to go there very often?</p>

<p>Some things to sweeten the pot for your mother:
BS breaks are LONG so you have more time for interaction then, or maybe trips.
BS often starts later in the year and ends earlier than many local schools.</p>

<p>As previously mentioned, visiting campuses may have a profound impact on your mother’s outlook. Every visit made me wish I could have gone to school there!</p>

<p>As far as keeping in touch, it is a fact that communication will be more sporadic than it is now. At BS you will be very busy and have limited openings in your schedule to call, text, Skype, etc. My D and I have a standing date for a Google chat and she connects with her dad on a different day. We exchange emails here and there during the week.</p>

<p>If it helps convince your mother at all, the whole BS idea in our family started with my much older son. It was such a pivotal experience for him that he helped convince my D to apply (she’s much more of a homebody and also did not want to leave her two young siblings on her dad’s side). He helped pay for trips to visit and interview and helps with expenses.</p>

<p>Originally I had to encourage my D to apply and at least try it for one year. I said if she didn’t want to go back after one year, that would be fine. She is now in her second year and would never in a million years give it up.</p>

<p>As far as testing, my kids always scored well on standardized tests, took the SAT in 7th grade, etc., and they did well on the SSAT with just minor prep (looking over a book, familiarizing themselves with the format, maybe a little vocab or math review/study). I am not familiar with ERB or ISEE. I think from other posts on cc, the Jan. test date is fine, but you should check with each school you’re applying to, to be sure.</p>

5

<p>You need to make a list of pros and cons (include $, car, etc) of both including of course what they offer and don’t
I would also change your “signature”. It gives me reasons why your Mom is against it</p>

6

<p>Princess’Dad
Sorry about my signature (guessing this means my username) it is a joke with my friend, but it does not symbolize me as a person but I can fully understand how you might see it that way. And actually funny that you mention the list of costs, I have done that already! I basically added up all the costs of living at home to show that the tuition isn’t as expensive as it may seem.</p>

7

<p>alooknac, thanks so much this is very helpful!
I too was considering the set up time to talk and the long vacations. But in reality, is it going to even be possible for me to talk to her at least every other day, or twice a week ( besides weekends I can make time for that) and if so, will I be able to for more than 10-15 minutes? Ideally, I would be able to talk to her on the phone every other day for about ten minutes. I do love my mother (both my parents, but this will be harder for her) and I know that I will miss her but I also know that I am ready for this and that it will be a good experience for me.</p>

8

<p>Tooclassy, the bs kids have super busy schedules but you can usually find some time just to check in with home. I miss my daughter so very, very much, and it drives me crazy to get really short emails and texts from her, but even then, she tries to tell me a bit about what’s keeping her so busy. We text after study hall and lights out, to say goodnight and just check in. We connect for a longer conversation on the weekend. She will often call me at work during a free period or while walking to sports practice. It takes some adjustment (at least it did for me), but seeing her thriving there and the great experiences she’s having, I am absolutely sure that we made the right choice. Still, do not minimize what this would mean for your mom. It is a huge sacrifice for parents to give up the daily togetherness and the goodnight hugs…</p>