Parents or smart adolescents of CC.. I need your help..my Mom is being difficult

<p>As a parent, at all schools, not just OOS, I had my son inquire IN ADVANCE to set up:</p>

<p>tour - including dorm
Meet and speak one on one with an AdRep
sit in on a class
meet with either a prof or student in the majors he was interested in
eat in the cafeteria</p>

<p>Not all schools could provide everything. Some we had to visit in the summer.<br>
If I am taking off work and if I am expected to fork over thousands for college, darn it, I wanted him to investigate the schools in depth. Your parent may feel the same as I did.</p>

<p>College is a business. Responding to potential customers IS part of the school’s marketing. Barging into the Admin Office is not recommended, but every school we visited could handle responding to questions without a previous appointment. You may be speaking to a student volunteer instead of your regional rep, but, believe me, most will be willing to answer questions. DO NOT FEEL that you are hurting your chances by asking questions. Do give the courtesy to set up as much in advance as possible.</p>

<p>Even if you haven’t any questions, just honestly tell them that you want to hear what they have to say and you have no specific questions at this point.</p>

<p>

I feel for your mom. She realizes that just walking around, looking at the pretty buildings and listening to the tour guide spiel, is seldom enough to make a good decision about whether a college is a good fit. Many people have specific questions regarding their major, the living arrangements, career possibilities, you name it. And being physically at the college where admissions people routinely handle those questions, stopping and and speaking with someone is a much easier way to get answers than trying to get them by phone or email. Plus person-to-person you get the benefit of their experience; having spoken with thousands of students they can often anticipate questions or provide you with answers to related questions that might not have occured to you.</p>

<p>But if your ideal visit is walking on the tour and leaving, this is at complete odds with what your mom suggests. Actually I just have a bad feeling of how college overall is going to go for you. Sure, one could simply spend 4 years sitting anonymously in class, take the tests, and seldom talk to a soul. But college is more than just the classes, or it could be replaced by a package of DVD’s marked “History Major” or whatever. Its about building new friendships, exploring new ideas, getting advice and counsel from profs and other those in other services on campus, in general preparing to enter the adult world. This is more than simply showing up for 4 years of classes.</p>

<p>Anyway, best of luck to you in your college search and the future.</p>

<p>If all you want to do is tour the campus and leave, you’d be better off saving your time and money and just looking at pictures of the campus or watching a video of a campus tour on YouTube. You need to get away from the tour, look at the parts of campus the admissions office might not want you to see, and talk to some current students to get the full picture of what life at that college is like. </p>

<p>If you have social anxiety, I feel for you. I had the same thing for most of my life and only started to come out of my shell in the past few years. But you really need to start getting over that NOW, or you will never get through college - trust me. How do you expect to make new friends, connect with your classmates, participate in campus activities, or get a job if you can’t talk to people? If you force yourself to get through an interview, or at least an informal chat with someone in the admissions office (believe me, it is NOT that difficult to get an admissions officer to tell you about the school), you will be more comfortable talking to strangers in the future.</p>

<p>Thanks everyone. mmmgirl and 29happymom you were very helpful. I guess I’ll see what I can do. I’m just not very witty during conversation, and I don’t really have questions because I find out everything on their website. Anyway, it’s worth it.</p>

<p>College158-
I advised my kids to have a couple of pre-planned questions that could be asked at any school. That way if they blanked out in the middle of an interview or the conversation stalled they could ask one of their questions. An example might be, “What do you think are X school’s strongest departments?” or “What do you think sets school X apart?”</p>

<p>Actually, keepingitlight: What is a college guidance counselor? We have normal guidance counselors who do schedules and stuff, and I suppose I could talk to them about college. I feel like you mean something different, though.</p>

<p>In many schools, college158, guidance counselors who help students with the process of choosing and getting into college. They often give evening lectures to students and parents about financial aid, etc. I’d imagine in schools with fewer students going to college they counselors concern themselves less with college. If your school doesn’t provide this, I hope you are supplementing yourself by getting good information elsewhere.</p>

<p>I agree that talking to someone in admissions is not the same as interview. It really helps to connect with the colleges ad com for your area and to talk about any questions you have. My D sat down for a few minutes with an admissions guy at one school she looked at and it was great. He answered questions and found out her overall grades and stats and was able to point out potential scholarships. He also talked about what they look for in essay and, based on discussion of Ds interest, noted one thing she said as being a good essay topic. She used it for that school and many others and got several notes about how good it was. It’s definitely a win win for you, especially for out of state visits where you might not go back until accepted. And it’s actually good practice if you have anxiety and have never been in this situation before since you may have to do an interview at some point.</p>

<p>Do you have any sources of good information, redpoint? Any links? My guidance counselors do do stuff about college, and I could probably ask them if I had any questions.</p>

<p>My favorite book is The College Solution by Lynn O’Shaunessy. Sign up for her Facebook page The College Solution or see her blog. </p>

<p>It sounds like the big issue, though, is getting through your social anxiety. I can relate to that! and so can my kids. As far as interviews, it might be work finding someone to have some mock interviews with you. That’s easier said than done, I know. Do start to speak with your guidance counselor on Monday. Maybe they can pass you on to someone who can help you. I would be firm with them, don’t equivocate, tell them you have a problem with social anxiety, don’t just say “well, I’m kind of shy.” But maybe you are also shy with the guidance counselor?</p>