<p>I need to go on a college visit trip to see where I want to apply and go. I've gone to some in my home state and they've been fine. However, I do want to apply to schools out of state. </p>
<p>My dear mother says that if we (me and her) go out of state, that I need to "talk to someone" at a college, meaning someone who works in the admissions office or something. For example, I just went on a trip of William and Mary last week. At the end of the tour she (mother) asked "Do you want to talk to someone?" I said no, and I can because it's my home state. What does she mean? Does she think we can just barge into the admissions office and "Talk to someone"? Keep in mind, this is the woman that thinks that if colleges send me mail it means they're interested in me. </p>
<p>I need to go visit colleges out of state, but my mom is hijacking my ability to. I mean, college interviews are when you get to "talk to someone". We can't just walk into the admissions office and say "hey, i want to talk to someone." about what? I don't really have any questions. It seems rude to me, and pointless. </p>
<p>Can anyone tell me what to say to her so I won't have to "talk to someone"? Something that tells her "That's stupid and will probably hurt my chances at a college", but in a vaguely polite way? Thank you.</p>
<p>I think you misinterpreted what she meant. By talk to someone, it could mean asking questions about financial aid to admissions (I’m assuming your mother doesn’t know where you’d actually go to find out info about probable merit/financial aid), talking to a current student about life in general, etc. When I toured colleges, my mom made me talk to current student that wasn’t a tour guide to see if they too liked the school, and ask if the stereotypes were true, how academics actually were, etc. Considering how much time/money college costs, my mom wanted to make sure I would actually enjoy the school before I deposited. </p>
<p>Also, most tours I went on have special student only info sessions where the prospective students ask questions that they might not feel comfortable asking in front of parents. Maybe your mom wanted you to go to one of those. </p>
<p>Unless you streak naked across the quad during an admissions session, while yelling your name, “talking to someone” will only help your chances at any school where level of interest (see section C7 of the common data set) is at least considered. Btw, college interviews typically involve an alumni from years past talking with applicants. My mom, until a few years ago, interviewed prospective students. Do you honestly believe an alumni from the 1980s could offer a better/ more relevant opinion on current day to day life than a current student?</p>
<p>Whenhen is completely correct also when it comes to going out if state, my parents work full time jobs and are sometimes on call when they have a day off so I am unable to go to MIT with them. I want and need their support but they are too busy so it’s not really a major issue that you need to commemorate as a bad thing. If she seems unreasonable then find some friends and go with them.</p>
<p>If you plan ahead, you can easily ask to set up a one-on-one appointment with someone in the admissions office. Their job is to talk with people. Just send an email, let them know you would like to visit on a certain day, and they will tell you what your options are.</p>
<p>Your mom wants you to do some research about these OOS institutions, and to put some effort into making the arrangements. She doesn’t want you just to visit them without a clear purpose.</p>
<p>When you are making your list of places to visit, run your family financials through the Net Price Calculator at each institution’s website. That might cut your list down for you a bit, and it will certainly give you something to chat with the financial aid officers about.</p>
<p>College158-
Adding a parent’s perspective…
When my husband or I took our now senior on college visits we always had him set up an interview in advance. Many of the schools in which he was interested cared about student interest, and doing an interview demonstrated that interest. More importantly, these trips were a golden opportunity to collect information on the colleges and gauge fit. An interview is pretty much the only time you’re going to have one-on-one time with someone who really knows the school inside and out and who can answer just about any question you throw at them.</p>
<p>So you’re saying that I should set up an appointment or something? I honestly think she just wants to barge in and say “someone talk to us!” I don’t know. It would probably ruin my chances and make me stress out.</p>
<p>Set up an appointment. Talk with your mom in advance about the questions she wants to ask, and the questions you want to ask. Make a checklist so you do ask the questions that are important for both of you. If you are interested in a particular program or department, ask the admissions office to help you set up a tour or visit of that program/department so that you can do that as well.</p>
<p>And, truth be told, lots of admissions offices will let you walk in and ask questions. It is just better form to set things up ahead of time.</p>
<p>Let’s back out of this a little and look at the conflict from a larger perspective. What bothers you about her question?–to me it sounds like she wants to be helpful. Is it that you want to have everything planned before you go, and not do things off the cuff? Is it that you want to be the decision maker during the trip and her stay in the background? Do you discuss colleges before you get there? Does she have a time in this process to give opinions and ask questions? Ask her–what questions does she want to know about colleges, about this process, etc. Figure out a time for you guys to discuss things together–are college visits the only time you “let her in” the space of college decisions?</p>
<p>This whole process is stressful, believe me. Try to figure out what stresses and worries are making you guys react like this and things will go more smoothly.</p>
<p>usernamelm: I have social anxiety and I just want to go on the tour and then leave, without talking to people. My parents are fairly involved in the process.</p>
<p>keepingitlight: Of course we have a guidance office at school. No need to be rude.</p>
<p>If you don’t want to interview, don’t; but accept the fact that if you want to attend a school that recommends interviews (some do), you will be at a disadvantage in admissions if you visit the school and don’t interview. </p>
<p>Sooner or later, you will have to learn how to conduct yourself in an interview. It is a common life task. College interviews are relatively low-stakes way to get used to this unavoidable and frequent scenario. You will need to interview for jobs and graduate school placement when you get out of college. Practice helps.</p>
<p>You are right in that it would not be a smart idea just to walk into an admissions office and expect someone to drop whatever they are doing and talk to you. But your parents have a point in that it may be difficult or even impossible to make return visits to schools that are further away so it would be best to make each visit as productive as possible. Get in touch with each school and see what can be arranged. </p>
<p>Virtually every school offers group information sessions which are given by admissions officers. There is typically some time to ask questions during or right after these sessions. And most smaller schools will be happy to set up interviews while you are on campus.</p>
<p>And to answer your question directly, tell your mom that you will call each out of state school and find out what type of arrangements (individual, group or both) can be made to speak to an admissions person during your visit. Then follow up and make the arrangements. By doing this you can take control of the process and satisfy your mom at the same time.</p>
<p>" I have social anxiety and I just want to go on the tour and then leave, without talking to people. My parents are fairly involved in the process."</p>
<p>Then discuss this aspect of the situation with your parents. Your mom may be asking you to do this so that you practice speaking with people in a controlled situation. Once you are in college, you will have to speak with some people on occasion - often total strangers. If you can work through some of this now, it will be easier in the future.</p>
<p>William and Mary STRONGLY recommends that all in-state applicants interview. I think it even used to be a requirement – my guidance counselor told me last year when I was applying that it was mandatory for in-staters.</p>
<p>But as far as what your mom wants, is there something YOU are interested in? Instead of a formal interview, you could arrange to stop by a department or program office. For instance, at two different schools I went into their Study Abroad office just to pick up some information and each time ended up chatting with a student there for over half an hour. It really gave me a good feel for the program and the friendliness of the students without being awkward trying to ask the right questions of an admissions person, so that could be an option for you.</p>
<p>Really, artemis? Where did you get this information? I just went last week and they said nothing about interviews. Let alone, they only do on-campus interviews. Also, on their website it just says “interviews are not required” and “since interviews are optional and limited, students will not be disadvantaged”. I think you’re wrong.</p>
<p>Really, artemis? Where did you get this information? I just went last week and they said nothing about interviews. Let alone, they only do on-campus interviews. Also, on their website it just says “interviews are not required” and “since interviews are optional and limited, students will not be disadvantaged”. I think you’re wrong.</p>
<p>Also, my brother got in, without an interview!</p>
<p>Umm . . . like I said, I got it from my guidance counselor, and also from the W&M people (the part about “strongly recommends” for instate). I didn’t say it was a current requirement, just that I thought it used to be because that was the information I was given. Congrats to your brother.</p>
<p>I really don’t look at “talking to someone” in Admission as being the same as an interview. We sat down one on one at a small tech school and it was JUST what S needed. It was so much better than a big information session. I had been telling him for months to look up the different degree options such as 4 +2 or 5 + 2 or 5 year B. Arch degree. It was not an interview, he asked some basic questions of S like ACT, extra curricular but nothing else. He went over common app. merit aid and the major curriculum. It was also info I knew but so helpful with S. It also led to other ideas about “what other buildings do you want to see and what prof. could you talk to?” </p>
<p>I think you could just walk in and talk to the information person at the desk if you wanted. THe person may just answer the phones and greet people but if it makes your mom feel better, come up with one basic question or pick up some flyers. At minimum, you can get an idea of how helpful they are. </p>
<p>If you want to go out of state, you should prove to your mom that you can overcome the social anxiety and talk to strangers.</p>