<p>Hi, I'm a 16 year old junior in HS right now.</p>
<p>As you can tell by the title, I have issues with my parents. I'm really tired of them always controlling everything. And before anyone says I'm overreacting, think about this: if you disagree with something they say (in my case, I wanted a side-job), and then get assaulted and sent to the hospital. Abuse much? Well I can't do anything, b/c I'm home schooled.
Today when I said I needed to visit colleges before applying to see which ones I liked, they said "you can't go to college next year (summer 2010), because we said you can't."
They are so frustrating! Next summer I will be 18 - they can't exactly stop me.</p>
<p>How do I get them to change their mind? They just won't listen to me, because I'm a kid! And they wouldn't help pay for it anyways, even though we have the money. I'm worried about my future. What do I do??</p>
<ol>
<li>If you're actually being abused, deal with that first. Call CPS, ask a neighbor or a friend to, just do whatever it takes to stop that. From there, things can sort of go two ways:</li>
<li>Leave. If it's bad enough, you may be put into a foster home (my case). From there, moving on to college is simpler. Or...</li>
<li>Ask someone else for help to get into college. Have religious parents? Try a priest/minister/whatever. Close family friend? Get their help convincing them. Depends on what your folks are like. In all honesty, you can't convince them yourself, most likely.</li>
</ol>
<p>It's lucky you're thinking about it this early, so if they won't pay, there's time to apply for scholarships.</p>
<p>Your parents cannot stop from leaving home and going where ever you want to go, including college once you are 18, but they don't have to pay for it and if they refuse to fill out FAFSA or other financial aid forms, you won't get any financial aid.</p>
<p>If there is physical abuse and the student leaves the home because of it, I think there are paths to financial aid even without the parents' information. (This is a question perhaps best asked on the financial aid forum.)</p>
<p>If you were physically abused and ended up in the hospital because of it, you could have told someone there; the hospital has to report it. </p>
<p>You can certainly do something about this; go to a church (doesn't have to be the one your parents belong to, if they do belong to one), your nearest public school, or even better, call Child Protective Services yourself to report the abuse.</p>
<p>So sorry that you have to deal with this stuff. But huge props to you for looking ahead.</p>
<p>First and foremost, be sure that you are safe.</p>
<p>You list Doha as your home. As in Qatar? If so, the folks on this discussion board would probably have little to offer you in terms of legal advice and/or financial aid policy in your country.</p>
<p>That said, you may eventually have to take extreme steps. For example, in the US consideration of foster care and/or declaring yourself emancipated (which includes financial independence) would be in order. These would certainly be scary steps, not to be taken lightly. I hope you have a trusted adult you can talk to about this stuff.</p>
<p>Sounds like AtomicCafe would be a good resource person for you. I see you are new here, with only this one post. You might want to send personal messages (pm) to AC and others for support as you try to figure out what steps to take.</p>
<p>If you are being abused, consider the advice of the other posters. Regarding paying for college, here are some options:</p>
<p>1) Get a full time job, move out of the home, and go part-time.
2) If you are being abused and decide to stick it out: A few months before you turn 18, do what you have to do to become emancipated, foster home, etc. anything that gets you to be "independent" for FAFSA purposes. Then you have a chance at getting need based aid without your parent's help.
3) Join the Military. The Marines have a program where you:</p>
<p>a) Apply for the PLC program (platoon leader's course). Similar to ROTC.
b) Enlist (become a Private) in the reserves;
c) Go to boot camp (92 days);
d) Become eligible for the GI Bill because of the 90 days of active duty during war time (this applies to WI, so check your state);
e) Go to the State School where the GI bill applies (pays for tuition).
f) Ongoing training will give you additional $'s for living expenses.
g) Graduate and go active duty with the Marines as an Officer. I think the commitment is 4 to 6 years.</p>
<p>Before anyone flames about joining the military: At least it is an option. You may not want to, but someone else may find it a reasonable trade off in order to get a college degree.</p>
<p>Do you live in Doha? If so, you need to find someone in your own country who can help you. Regarding abuse in Doha--I can only assume what many of us would call child abuse, your country would call parental authority or family culture/traditions.</p>
<p>If you live in the US, there are agencies that can help you regarding being removed from your abusive situation. If you live in Doha, you need to find someone knowledgeable about the laws over there. </p>
<p>In a way, your parents can stop you from going to college because they can refuse any and all financial support. I'm sorry that you are in this situation. Is there anyone (a friend or a relative) that you can turn to for help?</p>
<p>If you are in the U.S., call this number to get help for the abuse you are suffering: 1-800-4-A-CHILD </p>
<p>In cases of documented abuse, I am sure that U.S. colleges make allowances for U.S. citizens not being able to get financial help from parents. But, first, you need to get that abuse documented.</p>
<p>If you live in another country, you need to say what the country is so that people here may be able to offer to you useful advice.</p>
<p>I focused on your college remarks rather than the abuse which was really not the way I should have reacted. Thankfully, other posters have made the abuse situation a priority as it should be. </p>
<p>Anyone who being physically beaten by someone else, needs to have this addressed. Schools are not the only place that notifies social services. If you and any sibling are being abused, that has to stop. </p>
<p>Once you are 18, you cannot be an emancipated minor as you are no longer a minor. So you will be stuck in the financial aid box where your parents' situations will be what entitles you for financial aid, not your own situation. So if you are sitting there waiting till you turn 18, to leave, it may not be your optimal move. You do need to talk to someone who is knowledgeable about the law and the ramifications of what you can do. They can also address the particulars of your situation as they can get the full story from you. THis just being an internet site is really inadequate for addressing things as serious and personal as abuse. Please get help. My apologies for not addressing your more pressing issues.</p>
<p>To others who have posted, you are all impressive in dealing with this post. Hopefully the OP takes the advice.</p>
<p>The poster's stated location of Doha (which is in Qatar in the Middle East) prevents her from seeking all the U.S. resources. Within her culture, there may be few options without breaking family ties totally, AND having another sponsor nearby. Even if she left, the laws would probably be in favor of her parents' power and control (for passports and international travel.)</p>
<p>Crystal_stormer--try to find a sympathetic relative or teacher to help you determine your legal and cultural options. Our thoughts are with you.</p>
<p>u can consider or at least threaten them with emancipation. there's a chance they might get so scared of losing u, they will give in.
then again, they are abusing u. & if u tell some one about that right away, i doubt they will ever have control over u again.</p>
<p>Are you a USA citizen? If so, if you are able to get to the USA, or a USA consulate or USA Embassy office, you would then have all the rights of a USA Citizen. Otherwise, only someone familiar with your country's laws will be able to advise you.</p>
<p>I'm guessing if you are a USA Citizen, show up at a USA Embassy or Consulate office, and tell them that you are abused, then they should be able to do something to help you. As USA Territory (which all embassy's are, and I think consulate offices too), they should have the right to put you under protective custody pending a resolution of your situation.</p>
<p>yes please find some help for the abuse. You might consider talking to CS about what you need to do to declare emancipation, but if you are going to be 18 and if you move out, and cannot be claimed as someone's dependent, I am not sure, but I would suspect your financial situation would be taken into account. The reality of moving out though is a lot different than the idea of it. If there is some type of counselling your family could go to, maybe that would lead to something helpful for you. Do you have other family members you could turn to for some help (aunt? Uncle? cousin?)
oops just saw maybe you are not in the US? Or not a citizen? I guess I don't know how to advise you. Sorry</p>
<p>OP, if you are a citizen of Qatar, it is hard for me to offer you any advice, but I will say a bit. </p>
<p>In theory, Hukoomi should be able to help you with the abuse, and they are also in Doha. Hukoomi</a> - Qatar Foundation for Child and Women Protection
If this is an "in theory" rather than an "in reality" solution, you may just need to sit tight under your parents roof and try as hard as you can not to upset them until you are 18.</p>
<p>I see your question is about how you can get yourself to college. Once you are 18, you are an adult in the U.S. or in Qatar. It seems like it would be good if you could put together a plan regarding where you can live once you turn 18, and that you could better move forward after you reach that point. I think that this is what fauve was suggesting as well.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, I don't think you can apply for financial aid in your current situation. </p>
<p>Good luck and keep us posted with how things are going with you.</p>
<p>Maybe this is just me, but 1st post, from Doha? What colleges is she trying to visit in Doha? First she was in HS, then home schooled? Assaulted for wanting to get a job? Was it from both parents, Mom and Dad? Hmm...</p>
<p>
[quote]
Maybe this is just me, but 1st post, from Doha? What colleges is she trying to visit in Doha? First she was in HS, then home schooled? Assaulted for wanting to get a job? Was it from both parents, Mom and Dad? Hmm...
[/quote]
</p>
<p>I'm not a parent, and I have no useful info for the OP, but I'd just like to point out that as an international, it's often a lot easier to use terms that are American-specific (in this case "HS") to avoid having to provide extensive amounts of context. I wouldn't be too suspicious - he/she might just be saying that she's currently pursuing a HS-level homeschool curriculum right now, or something else that makes sense in his/her particular context.</p>
<p>And you might be surprised... where I come from, it's highly uncommon for juniors and seniors (using the American terms here, we don't call them that) to take on part-time jobs during the school term. My parents and teachers were not pleased when I did that (to the extent my civics tutor removed all mention of it from my graduation testimonial, she thought it would draw attention to the fact I could have spent more time on school-based ECs), and I can see why some families could turn this into an issue.</p>
<p>She didn't say that she was trying to visit colleges in Doha, just that she wanted to visit colleges.</p>
<p>Also, I believe you misunderstood her high school comment, and that lead you to be suspicious of her post. She didn't mean that she attends a high school and that she's also homeschooled, she meant that she's being homeschooled for high school rather than attending a "regular" high school. Many parents homeschool their high school students.</p>
<p>I just find it odd that her parents would spend the time and effort to home school and yet for no particular reason, they don't want her to go to college. They don't want her to go to college and yet going out to work is frown upon. Phantompong, in your case, your parents were not happy so you would concentrate on your school work to get to good college, right?</p>
<p>My apology to OP if I butt in for no good reasons here.</p>