<p>I agree with post #56 this is not at all about cost (since OP can get cheap flight) or time (is the flight that much longer than the 6 hour bus ride my D will have coming home from Pitt for Thanksgiving?) but about feelings and family attachment. I don’t thnk that coming home for Thanksgiving will prevent the OP from becoming fully engaged in college life. Thanksgiving gatherings are about the biggest family tradition we share here in the US. Hoping that OP can work it out with her dad and stepmom.</p>
<p>^Unless I’m mistaken, OP is going home for Thanksgiving. OP simply wants to go home once before then as well.</p>
<p>Its not about cost, but it is also about trust. Dad should have told his DD, you can not come home before Thanksgiving. He didnt, and may have lead daughter on to think because of SMs low cost flight options, she could come home more often.</p>
<p>Some conversations with kids are difficult, but parents have to bite the bullet.</p>
<p>@zchryevns actually if you read through all of it it says that he might not let her come home for T-day. It seems Daddy’s biggest panic is her not getting back to class Monday after because flying stand-by on the Sunday after T-day is a nightmare. Which is why I suggested that she try to go home in Oct INSTEAD of Thanksgiving to calm his nerves. Somebody else suggested paying the $60 to not be stand-by on the trip back to campus. Thanksgiving is still very much up in the air. It isn’t all all surprising that the girl is feeling unloved.</p>
<p>Momfrom KD, agree with you. Too bad Dad isnt here reading. He might be interested to know that whether a man ends up in a nursing home is more correlated with not having a daughter v having a wife. Now part of that may be that first marriages, men are much more likely to predecease wives, so the question doesnt come up.</p>
<p>OP, I think you should go ahead and share some of your feelings with your dad and perhaps also your stepmom. Perhaps your dad (being a guy) doesn’t quite understand that you are homesick, or that you are afraid about never knowing when you’ll be ‘allowed’ to come back home. Just setting up a firm date in the future will help you feel good about the situation. </p>
<p>There may also be issues going on between your dad and your stepmom or between your stepmom and her job, that you are unaware of. Perhaps if you open up a little your dad will too.</p>
<p>
One suggestion on this part: try to wean yourself off Facebook. Or spend a little more time looking at the pages of those who, like you, went away to college.</p>
<p>OP, I’m sorry you are going through this. I know you said you’ve already laid this out fully for your dad and it’s gone nowhere. You indicate he tends to be reserved. Perhaps if you ask your step-mom to join the next call, her participation will faciliate a more productive conversation? If he’s still not forthcoming, it’s okay to tell him directly that this is a time you need for him to lay everything out–his feelings and the practical considerations. You have expressed yourself thoughtfully and maturely here. I know you can handle the conversation equally as well and get to the bottom of the “travel home” issue. Even if what you discover is not news you want to hear, it will enable you to re-set your expectations to a travel schedule they agree to support. You deserve that consideration. </p>
<p>Re: the suggestions to see a counselor, I just wanted to add that you don’t have to be experiencing anything more than homesickness to go in, i.e., don’t think you have to be suffering a particular type of emotional distress to make an appointment or that you are wasting their time or resources–that’s what they are there for! At my freshman’s orientation, they made a big point of inviting kids to come in for a homesick talk and cry session. (I think a cookie bribe might have been offered, too!) But a lot of kids take them up on it–it’s understandable you don’t want to share those feelings with peers, RAs, teachers, etc. The counselors said the feedback has been great–students report it really helps just to have that safe place to go vent, cry and get it all out. I hope you’ll try it!</p>
<p>Maybe, as a gift of some sort, your SM would buy a ticket to fly one of your best friends out to visit you at school. I think that would be a great holiday or birthday present - or can only family fly free?</p>
<p>^^^^what cartera said. good idea!</p>