<p>When you were looking at colleges have there been any that your parents have reacted badly to? I mentioned to my mom that I might want to visit Cornell for a campus tour. She was NOT happy to hear it. She was like 'But that school is hard to get into! And far away! And EXPENSIVE!'</p>
<p>I'm a little bit hurt that she doesn't support me as much as I hoped she would. I just mentioned ONE college and she began to discourage me from applying there. I haven't even told my parents that Stanford is going to be my first choice when I apply next year. How am I supposed to tell them without getting a reaction like the one above? Has this happened to anyone else?</p>
<p>I got the worst reaction with colleges which were far away (for my mom, far away entails anything over two hours, so you can imagine her shock when I told her I wanted to go to Pitzer College in Souther California, as we live in Philadelphia).</p>
<p>my parents have actually been pretty supportive. the only negative reaction was to uc berkeley. my dad was like "no you can't go there it's too liberal" but he eventually realized what an excellent school it is and says i should go wherever i want to.</p>
<p>"Yeah, parental support in my case was inversely proportional with the distance from home. I think this is the case in most instances."</p>
<p>somewhat true for me as well!, my parents were thrown off by my desires to atend usc, yale, and harvard; due to their distance from home as well as their cost!</p>
<p>Pretty very supportative across the board, though I think they are happy I am sticking close to home (as opposed to going to CA). </p>
<p>My Dad did put his foot down on the subject of BU. He simply said, " I am not going to pay $50,000 for BU when you can get the same education at UMass."</p>
<p>My dad has reacted pretty well to all of the colleges I've told him I'm applying to. My mom, on the other hand, is quite paranoid. She doesn't want me going anywhere far away. She especially doesn't want me going to Chicago...she thinks I won't be able to survive there.</p>
<p>My dad said the same thing about BU and Rutgers, BalletGirl.</p>
<p>Well, I wanted to apply to Washington & Lee, Gettysburg, and a few others. My dad shut me down. Basically, if he hasn't heard of the school, it's not a good one. Also, distance wise, my mom won't let me go to anywhere more than, 10 hours from home? So for Jersey, no California for me. </p>
<p>However I did manage to sneak George Washington on my list when my dad took it off and he didn't say anything! Yeah!</p>
<p>"vanderbilt? you do know thats in... Tennessee right?"
then I tell my dad theres an outside shot at good FA or Scholarship...
O ya Definitely apply!
same with Notre Dame actually... only... Indiana?</p>
<p>They think I want to stay in my warm Southern California for ever</p>
<p>You might want to have a talk with your parents about finances before you get too far along in the application process. If cost is a big consideration it's good to know that at the outset so you can shape your search.</p>
<p>same problems as the above. if you can actually justify your choices...and I don't just mean "it's a great school"...they should end up giving you some leway. My parents really didn't want me to apply to Cornell b/c it's so far and inconvenient to get to, but they let me apply b/c it's one of the only schools with Industrial Labor Relations</p>
<p>Take your mom's words "And its EXPENSIVE" to heart. Use it as the beginning of a discussion about how much your parents are able/willing to contribute to your education. Will you qualify for financial aid? Are they looking for you to be eligible for merit scholarships (which Cornell doesn't have)? How easy is it to get to/from Cornell - it's relatively isolated? And how much more will that transportation add to the costs?</p>
<p>Remember that most parents don't have a money spigot to turn on when they need more. There's a finite amount of money to go around, and your mother may be discouraging you because the idea of paying $50K per year is scary. (And even if your parents can pay it, that doesn't mean they'll be willing to do so.)</p>
<p>My parents have reacted very badly to York University in Canada, and I know it's just because it's out of the country. They also reacted pretty badly to, surprisingly, Penn State.</p>
<p>I'm trying to keep finances in mind while I'm looking at colleges but I don't want it to be the only factor either. University of Chicago is a pretty expensive school (About the same tuition as Cornell, I think. Might even be more) but my sister went there. My parents said 'Well if we paid for her to go to U of C then we'll find a way to pay whatever the cost is for you.' after I asked them if they'd be mad if I ended up attending a school on the costly side. They made it SEEM like cost wasn't the most important factor to them but could they be changing their minds?</p>
<p>Yep.....and we parents sort of fought it after our D was accepted...but a visit to campus is what sold us....an epiphany.....and now my D is happy and thriving at her school......</p>
<p>on the other hand, we visited other schools and said, "nope...." </p>
<p>What you are looking for is that feeling, "this is ME!" when you visit....academically, socially, and all the other factors that you are searching for. </p>
<p>Tell your folks to KEEP an OPEN MIND. Dont make any decisions until offers come in the door and you VISIT the school and see for yourself. </p>
<p>Being too close to home can be problematic as well. But their feelings are normal. Parents freak out about kids leaving home and knowing they will be eventually replaced as the number one influence in your life....so have some empathy for them. Dont fight about it. Just embrace them and love them and ask them to love you so much that they want what is best for you.</p>
<p>That may be Cornell, it may be Wheaton, or Northwestern or Loyola or UChicago or Illinois or somewhere else.</p>
<p>But visit the top three schools on your list (one reach and two matches) and see for yourself. And remember, keep an arm's length distance emotionally from EVERY school.....because admissions is very quirky and capricious at times and you dont know for sure until you have that acceptance letter in your hand. Highly qualified kids get rejected and deferred all the time. </p>
<p>My mom flipped at the thought of Cornell. Not because it's selective or expensive, which I would have understood, but because her ex-boss went there!</p>
<p>Your sister went to University of Chicago, so transportation costs and other issues (see the "holiday travel horror stories" thread in the Parents Forum) weren't a concern. </p>
<p>Just sit and talk to your parents. Your mom's reaction may have been the "first gut reaction". That might particularly be true if Cornell is very different than other schools you've applied to. (Huge campus, rural, etc.) It may stick. or it may not.</p>
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They think I want to stay in my warm Southern California for ever
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</p>
<p>I can't imagine why.. ;)</p>
<p>Seriously, though. I'm in Philly and like clockwork the California kids start getting depressed and whiny about cold weather and how great it is in California. blah blah I'd love to roundhouse kick them in the head.</p>
<p>I understand your irritation, bagels. You want to say something like "Did you guys look at a map before you applied here? Did you notice that Philadelphia is in the NORTHEast?"</p>
<p>New Englanders at all the Boston-area colleges really get their fill of people from the un-holy alliance of NY/NJ constantly comparing Boston to NYC. I was a local Boston-area guy, and during my years at Boston College, about 10 times per day I wanted to shout, "LOOK, if New York City is so great, why didn't you go to one of the 50 colleges THERE??"</p>