<p>Well, it really isn't nagging. That's something one's parents/family does :).</p>
<p>Other adults are merely inquiring because they feel an interest or obligation to acknowledge your presence and to attempt to make polite conversation.</p>
<p>"I wish people would leave me alone."</p>
<p>Isn't this the real issue? You've so far declined to offer any suggested queries that you would find acceptable or appropriate. Apparently, no matter what the old people bring up with you, you will find it irksome, if not "nagging".</p>
<p>So, instead of getting irritated, think about civil ways of deflecting, forestalling, or abbreviating conversations.</p>
<p>If you can't deflect questions about your career plans, you won't be able to cope with questions about marriage and children, either. And when you get older, you won't be able to cope with questions about your retirement plans, downsizing, and so forth. People just won't leave you alone. </p>
<p>I personally believe there are three reasons to go to higher education (College):
1) Because parents and peer group demands it.
2) Going to find out by exploring the possibilities offered (killing time inorder to "discover" ones' self.
3) Career. Which is highly unlikely.</p>
<p>We are just trying to confirm which of the three you are thinking about. It feels that you comform to #2, "unihabited island." When you find Waldo, say hi.</p>
<p>"Yeah, but I don't really have any plans and I am graduating soon. LOL."</p>
<p>"The reason it ticks me off is the answer I have is the same every time: I DO NOT KNOW...In other words I don't have nor do I want any plans!! "</p>
<p>That's nothing to laugh about. Your future is staring you in the face and you have no plans. It's your life and you aren't bothering to figure out what to do with it.</p>
<p>The problem isn't that adults are "nagging" you by attempting to talk with you adult to adult since you are, after all, an adult. The problem is that you're not taking responsibility for your own life. There's nothing funny about that.</p>
<p>Seems the problem is that the adults are relating to you as if you're a college student facing graduation soon and you're relating as if you're in Neverland.</p>
<p>blue: what sort of questions do YOU ask people in social settings to "make conversation"? Or are you "the quiet type" or even a bit "anti-social"? ;)</p>
<p>people ask such questions because they assume that during the 4+ years that you have dedicated much time and energy (and $$$) that you came up with a glimmer of an idea of where you are heading.... </p>
<p>BTW: What is your major and why did you CHOOSE it? Assuming that you chose your major because of your interest in it, why are you lacking for at least some direction? (It's not like you are an 18 year old with just a high school diploma.) Also, does you college offer any kind of career counseling or job placement?</p>
<p>And, good heavens, if you dislike questions so much then you are going to hate the job interview process (such as What are some of your strengths/weaknesses?). I think you simply dislike being questioned because you haven't spent much time reflecting on what kind of reasonable answers you could give. And I think you need some practice with social conversation. </p>
<p>I suggest volunteering at a senior center... you'll get tons of practice of making "small talk" and answering questions. Plus, senior citizens are wonderful and they have wonderful stories to tell....... :)</p>
<p>The question about what you plan to do is often just a form of "Nice weather, isn't it?" The questioner doesn't need a dissertation on your goals. "I'm not sure yet. What are all your children up to these days?" will suffice.</p>
<p>Frankly, I think the OP may be a typical example of kids today. Many kids have not been taught how to speak to adults (other than their parents.) Many kids will leave someone's home and will not thank the hosts. Many kids will enter their friends' homes and not acknowledge (say hello) to their friends' parents who reside there. </p>
<p>There was a time when parents made sure that their kids knew how to make polite "hello's", "how do you do's", etc. Many parents have been remiss about teaching their kids common manners, etc. </p>
<p>Moving to the south a few years ago was a real wake up call for me. Here kids are taught to say thank you, how are you, yes ma'am, etc. They will ask how your family is doing, etc. They will look you in the eye when speaking to you and show a genuine interest. When I go "home" to California, I see kids barely acknowledge other adults (that is if I can get them to look up from their gameboys, cell phone text messages, etc.) </p>
<p>I recently had a college freshman niece visit. She walked in my home, turned on her laptop and started surfing myspace. I was shocked that her parents sat by and let her do this in my home. I had to "interupt" HER surfing in order to ask her basic questions. SAD. The only time she got up was to grab a plate of food and return to her computer. (In hindsight, I should have turned off my wireless modem.)</p>
<p>I talk to adults. I know what I want to do long-term, but just not in the next two years. I need time off before going to grad school. I think there are more people like this than you realize. I've only been in my major a year anyway because I switched as a senior, which it appears a lot of people in my current major did as well.</p>
<p>I agree with jlauer95. In the south kids are taught to spend time with adults and are able to converse and feel fairly comfortable. My kids are comfortable talking with other adults at our church and don't mind sitting at a table full of other adults during potlucks or other functions.</p>
<p>Haha. I am in the South. Most the people keep asking me and others repeatedly. Like they ask and then they forget they already asked so they come to us with the same question 2 or 3 weeks after they asked it the first, second, third, etc, etc time. I mean geez, stop trying to make people feel bad. Most of us want to go travel for while!!</p>
<p>jlauer, I don't ask people about the future. It isn't predictable. I ask about past and present things (ie: what did you do then, why, what are you working on now, etc, etc). Bird flu could come to the US and kill all of us soon. The AntiChrist could show up (if you believe in that sort of thing). Someone could be planning your funeral tomorrow, if you really are inclined to plan something.</p>
<p>Anytime someone asks me about future plans (even vacations, what I'm going to write my paper/project/whatever on, etc,etc) it causes me severe anxiety. I rarely plan big events. Besides, I have a plan for post-bac work and research with/for a professor. And why ask the same question again and again within a span of 2, 3, 4 weeks?
To me, the questioning is like....it seems if I (or anyone else that is a studnt) isn't doing what someone else wants them to do, it must not be worth doing.</p>
<p>There is nothing wrong with simply saying, "I'm planning to do some post-bac work and research on XXXXXX with a professor from U of XXXX. " </p>
<p>The fact that you get anxiety is because you are a bit of a cynic and your comfort zone is too small. Take some baby steps towards some planning and social skills (I have a few relatives that are similar to you and they have been able to overcome anxiety by using the baby step method.... ). </p>
<p>Depending on where your comfort zone "stops" do something like the following to expand it (selection depends on where your weaknesses are):
1. Invite a friend or two over to watch a DVD and prepare some food/snacks. (after that success, try preparing a meal or heavy appetizers)
2. Plan a day trip (after that success, plan an overnight trip which requires the need to make a hotel reservation and plans to do some sightseeing.)
3. Have a messy room and too overwelmed to clean it? Clean up the corner of a messy room (after that, move clockwise to another part of the room, etc.)
4. have a messy desk and the job's too overwelming? Pick one messy desk drawer and clean it out (watch a fav show while doing so if you want). </p>
<p>If you just do some 'baby steps" you will expand your comfort zone and overcome some of this anxiety that you feel. The best way to avoid anxiety when facing a big thing is to break it up in small goals/steps and then you'll feel a sense of accomplishment everytime you finish one goal/step. Do NOT focus on the "big picture" (such as having to do a large research project - instead focus on the first step -- such as choosing a thesis). Reward yourself in a small way after completing each step.</p>
<p>Note to Parents: It is YOUR job to gently expand your anxious child's comfort zone if your child is easily intimidated, anxious, scared of various things that shouldn't be so frightening. The key is baby steps -- gently, without telling them what you are doing. Let the comfort zone expand so slowly and quietly that the child doesn't realize what is happening. You will be amazed at the results. Dont' just resign yourself to the fact that your child is too shy, quiet, nervous, etc. This is a big world with a global economy -- help your child become part of it. </p>
<p>I don't know why parents are hesitant to expand their child's comfort zone. If their child was afraid to go to the first day of school, the parents didn't just let the kid stay home. In such a case, parents "gently" force the issue.</p>
<p>And its like if I don't go get some job and work, what I have planned to do isn't good enough or something. I highly doubt that career counselors know what they are talking about either. I'm thinking grad school, and I need to form relationships with professors and do work with them and have them tell me what I need to do to get into grad school--not work! I'll figure out what odd job (babysitting, or whatever) I want on the side to pay for some things while I'm doing what I want to do, and I will figure it out later. Like, at the last minute...</p>
<p>A lot of us older parents (now mid 50-60), who had delayed children, had the future notion of "sex, drugs, and rock'n'roll" besides avoiding the draft and promulgating liberation of all types. Saying something like this will clearly set your stance for the future.</p>