<p>I feel like this is a question for "Ask Amy"! Since my son's senior year in high school, people have asked me rude and nosy questions about his intended field of study. "How can you let him study XXXX? The field is dying. He won't ever get a job." My usual response is to say that the field is not dying, just changing dramatically, and that with his choice of school he's positioned himself to get the best possible, forward-thinking education and make the best possible contacts. But that's never a conversation stopper. They always want to pursue the discussion and make their point, which is like telling me I don't know what I am talking about.</p>
<p>But what I really want to say is: What a rude question! Why do you think that it's okay to have opinions about where other people's kids go to school and what they study? I would never say something like that! And frankly, the employment outlook for college grads in any field right now is pretty grim.</p>
<p>Do other parents get the "what-are-you-thinking?" question? What do you say? Or is this something that happens only in the prestige-happy, know-it-all Northeast? I'm continually amazed, never prepared with a good answer, and really, really sick of it. (I know I should probably shrug and walk away, but I'm a little testy about it today because the most recent question came from someone I otherwise like.)</p>
<p>My DD is an English major and before people can make the rude comment, I usually add in something about her exploring her options and no matter what she does being a good writer ought to come in handy...........isn't a journalist taught to be a good writer, too? Wouldn't a journalist be the same function whether in paper or online or even on TV?</p>
<p>Sheesh, so many people want to feel better about themselves by putting other down!</p>
<p>Maybe you can turn the table and ask them for contacts for him :D</p>
<p>Or is this something that happens only in the prestige-happy, know-it-all Northeast? </p>
<p>I live in OH & I have been asked this question all the time. So I don't think it is because of your location. In fact, I have no idea where you could go not to be asked this question because it seems that everyone I know all over gets the same questions.</p>
<p>Believe me though that I know how you feel. My oldest son is & has been studying art history forever so you can't even believe the questions I get asked. Doesn't he want to go into engineering, blah, blah, blah. I just say that I am happy that my kids are happy & healthy and what more could you ask for:)</p>
<p>"Or is this something that happens only in the prestige-happy, know-it-all Northeast?" </p>
<p>I live in OH & I have been asked this question all the time so I don't think it is because of your location. In fact, I have no idea where you could go not to be asked this question because it seems that everyone I know all over gets the same questions.</p>
<p>Believe me though that I know how you feel. My oldest son is & has been studying art history forever so you can't even believe the questions I get asked. Doesn't he want to go into engineering, blah, blah, blah. How is he going to make any money or get a job. </p>
<p>I just say that I am happy that my kids are happy & healthy and what more could you ask for:)</p>
<p>My DH and I endured those remarks from friends and some family (our parents were very supportive, but others were critical.) We were liberal arts majors in the 80's while our friends were in computers, engineering and business. We went into education w/starting annual salaries of 16k and they started in the high 30's and 40's. We laugh now because we didn't even qualify to be called "yuppies." Today, things are so different. We've weathered two economic downturns (this one being so much worse) without fearing the loss of our jobs. We've moved up the ladder into administrative positions still in keeping with our career and life goals. Some of our friends made a lot of money early on but faced layoffs, change of careers and relocation. Stresses that we didn't experience. We both love our chosen fields and had the money thing influenced us to major in anything else, I know I would've felt unfulfilled. So, when others have an opinion about our son's plan to major in journalism, I remind them that the apple doesn't fall far from this tree...and we're proud of it.</p>
<p>hi geezermom....hope all is well with you and yours.....I have only been asked this by my BIL who is in investment banking...lol.....</p>
<p>Never had others say a word, but that may be because D1 has been involved in communications/jourmalism since middle school....I think it would have been a bigger surprise if she didn't major in it......</p>
<p>also, everyone around here knows that I don't give a rat's you-know-what about what people think.....</p>
<p>Now, if I had a big mouth, I would ask why some of my neighbors think that $45,000/year for UMich or Umiami for $52,000 makes sense....but I'll keep my mouth sealed...with duct tape ......</p>
<p>At the least, I know, unlike law or med, a grad degree will not be a necessity.(but rather an option).....</p>
<p>D will be starting college this fall as an English/Journalism major, but I haven't had any negative comments (yet). Students should major in what interests them and if that is your child's passion then he should go for it. Things will fall into place. My sister got this kind of thing as an Art major, but she now is successfully self-employed in design.</p>
<p>I live in the northeast, not that many have asked me. I don't think I know what my daughter's friends are majoring in either. A few times I've said, "I think she is still finding herself."</p>
<p>Our D is majoring in Classics (and not planning to be an academic). My response to "what is she going to do with that?" is to say, with a smile, "Anything she wants to."</p>
<p>I've certainly heard that down here in the South when my son or I share his interest in majoring in Theater. Now that he adds on that he's also looking at Chemistry, people we've just met all but beg him to major in Chemistry. So I would vote that it's not just a New England thing.</p>
<p>Personally, I think it's rude and not just about college majors. When people share where they are moving to/kids are going to college/going on vacation/etc. I always say something positive. Why rain on the parade? It's not like I have to go with them or support them if it doesn't work out.</p>
<p>It's funny. Whenever I talk to a young person and ask their major, I always find something nice to say about their major, something interesting to ask them, or some words of encouragement. I just don't understand how people can be so unthinking or rude. </p>
<p>What's funny is that I was a psych major back in college and currently work in the field of child development (speech pathology). I took so much ribbing from the engineers, pre-meds, and pre-law students.... until they had kids of their own. Suddenly I was the hottest commodity around!</p>
<p>Booklady hits the nail on the head, I think.</p>
<p>When rude people ask nosey questions, particularly ones that challenge your child's choices, it just makes the situation worse when you engage in long answers or justifications. By arguing your child's case, you're just opening the topic up to further question and analysis by the rude. </p>
<p>Booklady said "My response to "what is she going to do with that?" is to say, with a smile, "Anything she wants to."</p>
<p>Great answer. Here are a couple more some serious, some snarky - but the purpose is to avoid putting your child's choices up for public debate:</p>
<p>Q. Why on earth does she want to study that?
A. No clue. [smile] I guess all the spots for rocket scientist were taken.</p>
<p>Q. She'll never get a job with that major!
A. These days, no major will get you a job anyway!</p>
<p>Q. Why does she want to go into debt just to study [fill in blank]?
A. Maybe if she gets into enough debt, she'll get a government bail out. [followed by dismissive laugh]</p>
<p>Bottom line is, just because someone asks, you don't have to answer.</p>
<p>Thanks so much for this thread. Not only does son have a 'non-marketable' major, no one has ever heard of it. He is enjoying it, working his buns off, and has found his tribe.</p>
<p>My kids are all already done with undergraduate studies, but ages ago when one of them was looking at engineering degree programs my husband and I were becoming quite angst ridden about how much he might miss out on in college if he had no room for electives in the schedule. Discussing the “situation” with mutual friends we all eventually ended up doubled over in laughter as we thought of what this conversation would sound like to the majority of families in our community.</p>
<p>That kid did not turn out to be an engineer and it may at this point be unnecessary to state no one questions my kids’ choice of majors... or at least they don’t question me.</p>
<p>In my own youth I inadvertently insulted a very well-meaning relative who asked what I intended to do with my own seemingly impractical major by thoughtlessly, but very truthfully answering, “be educated.”</p>
<p>Not, however, claiming success in that endeavor.</p>
<p>*Or is this something that happens only in the prestige-happy, know-it-all Northeast? *</p>
<p>Possibly- Ihaven't heard any rude comments from what my kids have been doing- not too many anyway-
While one friend thought it was fabulous that my daughter planned for and arranged a trip to India ( by herself- she will be met once she arrives), another thought it was dumb ( while she lets her still in high school daughter with little experience driving take their car for a trip on a high accident stretch of freeway for the weekend)</p>
<p>I was thinking- depending on your mood, either responding- why they are just attending college to find a mate/get laid, or to keep busy until their trust fund kicks in.</p>
<p>Son was an undergrad music performance major. When people asked him what he was going to do with his degree, his favorite reply was "put it in a nice frame, and hang it on the wall".</p>
<p>I am not sure I understand why you are seriously considering these questions? Overall people really do not care about other's kids carriers. I would assume just that and joke about the question considering it as very irrelevant.</p>
<p>"Now, if I had a big mouth, I would ask why some of my neighbors think that $45,000/year for UMich or Umiami for $52,000 makes sense....but I'll keep my mouth sealed...with duct tape ......"</p>
<p>Because they are tremendous schools that their children are happy with? </p>
<p>Sorry to rant about this here, but I do not understand the obsession with tuition and student debt/loans. You can't put a price on an education, and you ESPECIALLY can't put a price on happiness. If a kid is happy with a school and it's an environment that fosters intellectual/personal growth for him/her, then it is worth whatever amount of money that appears on the bill. Not to mention that student debt isn't bad debt to have; the interest rates for most loans is relatively low (especially with a co-signer), many endeavors will allow for loan deferment, some employers even help pay it off (granted, that might change for the time being), and most graduates qualify for tax brakes/government assistance in regards to their debt. So really, why is student debt so vilified on the CC?</p>