Parents...

<p>Parents (not that any of you are old), but why do old people nag the heck out of college students by repeatedly asking them what they are going to do after they graduate? The answer will probably be the same everytime. God it is so annoying!!</p>

<p>Because they can't think of anything else to say.</p>

<p>I agree it's very annoying. Believe it or not, friends and acquaintances ask us (parents) what our kids plan to do after college, too. It's just a topic that interests adults - I don't think they mean to pry.<br>
Sometimes adults assume that this is an opening to begin a conversation that might interest a young person. Adults who ask my daughter this question get a smile and a dissertation. The same people who ask my son get a " Not sure." and a change of the subject.
Try to humor the adults. Throw them a bone, and realize they're just trying to get a conversation started.</p>

<p>Because finding about career interests is a good way to learn about a person so as to find commonalities and get into an interesting conversation. Maybe, for instance, the college student is considering a career the adult has worked in or that their own kid is considering.</p>

<p>This is similar to adults asking other adults about their occupations.</p>

<p>When it comes to adults and college/high school/middle school students talking, it can be hard to know what to talk about. After all, the adults aren't likely to talk with younger folks about partying, CDs, television shows, dating, parents' being irritating, etc. Young people also aren't likely to want to talk about adults' job problems, financial problems, concerns about children, health concerns, caring for infirm parents, etc.</p>

<p>Sure, I have other things that I can talk about than the things that I listed, but I'm not likely to talk about my acting class, spiritual interests, book club, etc. unless I find out that I'm talking to a person whom I'm not going to bore with that info.</p>

<p>I think we should ask them when they are going to settle down ;)</p>

<p>All good points, but let's consider an alternate approach. Instead of asking what a student is going to do after they graduate, would it be less annoying to you, bluealien01, if an adult asked what the student was studying at college, or what courses they were excited about? While I don't think I've ever asked a student what they would be doing after graduation, I <em>have</em> asked them about things they're interested in and studying now. As Northstarmom and others noted, it helps find a conversational ground on which to start chatting. Is that annoying, too?</p>

<p>Yes, I would be very interested in hearing from students about what they would like adults to say to them to get a conversation going. </p>

<p>Also, what do students themselves contribute or ask in order to converse with adults?</p>

<p>Well, we could ask you about the group sex....</p>

<p>Seriously (the other remark was serious too), the only reason it gets a rise out of you is because internally you are not clear, and there is a little voice in you that is nagging. Otherwise, you could simply say, "Oh, it's interesting that you ask. When you were my age, what were you thinking about? How was it for you? Can you give me some tips? What finally influenced you in your decision-making. Are you happy the way things turned out?"</p>

<p>The reason it ticks me off is the answer I have is the same every time: I DO NOT KNOW...In other words I don't have nor do I want any plans!! So, why do like 80 people ask that one after the other??</p>

<p>The reason it ticks you off is BECAUSE you do not know, and that makes you uncomfortable. Otherwise, it could be a very interesting conversation starter for both of you.</p>

<p>is de riguer questioning
first is "what are you going to do when you graduate"?
Then it is " when are you going to settle down"?
Then " Children"?
"how about a sister for your son"?
"Aren't you going to get a nicer house with a guest room?"
' Where are you buying your summer home"? ( So I can come and visit)
"Grandchildren?"
I agree with mini
what annoys us, says as much ( or more) about ourselves, than it does the other person</p>

<p>bluealien01, several posters here have asked what you would suggest as alternate conversation starters or interest indicators. Are you considering offering any alternatives? Rather than just complaining, it's often helpful to think of positive ways to improve the situation, and you've got an audience of adults here who'd like to have conversations with students without ticking them off or starting out with something that annoys them. Take advantage of that opportunity! :)</p>

<p>emerald,...who is de riguer? huh?</p>

<p>moot,</p>

<p>I don't know about alternatives, other than telling the nagger to go away. LOL. I highly doubt that most people know what they want to do anyway, other than take a really long vacation.</p>

<p>Moot,</p>

<p>Just thought of something. I have thought of asking people if they have a plan for when the world begins to end or the AntiChrist comes. LOL. Why plan for the future?</p>

<p>Okay mootmom- I've been there with people. I've had people asked me what my major is. I say with a huge smile, "HIstory!" And there's a silence.</p>

<p>Now, that's not always a great conversation starters for those who weren't quite looking to discuss history.... :)</p>

<p>On the other hand, my new answer for bluealien's question or summer plans does prompt a major conversation- to work at the US Holocaust Museum. Just hearding "DC" + "Museum" gets people VERY excited!!!</p>

<p>Ek, I love it. I heard most of those. Here is other ones that I will hear in 5 years-So, what will you do with yourself now the kids are out of the house?
Are you going to move into something smaller (my house is small BTW)?
So what are you doing with the extra time you have now?</p>

<p>My mother heard and still hears, So what are your kids doing? She always took this to mean, "Are they financially successful and stable?" She has a S that took some time until he found his way, and she always felt that she had to "cover" for him. People still ask and she feels that they are waiting to hear about his struggles. Actually he is doing quite alright now.</p>

<p>Bluealien:</p>

<p>Wait until people ask you: How come you are xx years old and not yet married? When will you (finally) have children?</p>

<p>bluealien: possible reply:</p>

<p>"I don't know but I am really enjoying my ____________ class right now. We are studying ___________."</p>

<p>I really enjoy listening to my son (and his friends, on the very rare occasion that I am permitted to see them :)), talk about what they are doing right now.</p>

<p>Oh Ok, marite. I don't want children. I like other people's children. Not sure if I want to bother with a husband either. Sleeping around a bit might be fun though, but not so fun to explain!
So, why do they bother college seniors with this stuff? I wish people would leave me alone. UGH</p>