Peer Review my College Essay?

<p>Looking for people who would be willing to read over my college app. essay. It 900 words, and I need to cut it down to 500. Any advice would be great; pointing out irrelevant sentences, straying from the theme, etc. Thanks so much!</p>

<p>I’ve never been sure about my career pathway; I’ve always had such a diverse range of interests, unable to single one out. Over the years I’ve watched family and friends find that one thing that they are passionate about, claiming to have had an “epiphany”, a sudden realization that this is what they want to work toward for the rest of their lives. I could never understand how to achieve this, how to focus my energy on one thing without straying off in a different direction. For a long time this bothered me, I was floundering in my own inability to make that ultimate decision, waiting for my moment of clarity. Here was a decision that would affect the rest of my life; not only how I would spend my 8-hour days, 50 weeks a year, but possibly where I lived, my community and friends, who I would marry, and how much money I would make. I was afraid; afraid to make a decision that would open one door but probably close countless others. </p>

<p>After graduating from high school and community college, most of my peers immediately went on to four-year universities, ready to earn degrees and pursue their careers as successful engineers, teachers and doctors. The pressures of society weighed heavily on me, telling me to follow my peers before I became part of that terrifying and ever-growing mass of the unemployed. I knew that I had to escape the pressure; I needed a change, time to think, a fresh perspective. I scored the internet, looking at “gap year” programs abroad with obscene application fees; advertising trips like elephant rides in Thailand, safari excursions in Africa, hiking in Costa Rica and swimming with dolphins in (?). While these programs were certainly exciting, they were not what I was looking for. Yes, I wanted to live abroad, but I wanted a job, I wanted to be part of a community, not just a tourist surrounded by other Americans. One day I stumbled upon a program in the former-Soviet country the Republic of Georgia. The program, Teach and Learn with Georgia, was looking for English-speakers with little to no teaching experience to come teach English in public schools all across Georgia whilst living with a local family. I was skeptical at first; I had never even heard of the program, let alone the country of Georgia! After extensive research on the program I decided to take a “leaf of faith” and go for it. </p>

<p>So after six months living in Georgia, here I am, eating lobiani (bean bread) and khinkali (meat dumplings) with my wonderful Georgian host mother. We discuss the education system in Georgia; me speaking in broken Georgian, and her in equally broken English. I’ve just walked home from Public School Number 166, where I teach English to my delightful second and third graders. I look forward to every morning when I am greeted by countless “Hello’s”, hugs and cheek-kisses. My students are eager and motivated to learn. Our classroom is small, with one blackboard and a few pieces of chalk, but the walls are covered with colorful pictures and English projects that the children and I have made this semester. Most of my students come from impoverished or underprivileged families, and whose parents know that the English language will give them more career options and the opportunity to have a better life. I feel an enormous sense of accomplishment as I think of some of my students; 7-year old Nini, who didn’t know the English alphabet five months ago, but can now read and understand (little kids book), and Baku, a bright-eyed third grader who wants to travel to America and become a diplomat.</p>

<p>On weekends I take a marshrutka (mini bus) to the many beautiful and diverse regions of Georgia; from the majestic Caucasus mountains to the sparkling beaches of the Black Sea. Georgians are very hospitable, especially towards foreign English teachers, and while traveling I am invited to multiple supras (feasts) where I am served an array of delicious and unique Georgian dishes. A supra is not complete without at least on heated debate, usually a political one, in which the men yell and pound their fists, all the while drinking alarming amounts of Georgian wine. When the debate comes to a close, or the dinner guests are too drunk to continue, they hug, kiss and go their separate ways. I am now accustomed to these supras, and it is only one of the many cultural differences that I have had to overcome. Dealing with the initial culture shock of being in a completely different environment and getting to my current level of comfortableness and acceptance has not been easy. Living in Georgia has required me to be very open-minded in order to adapt to many different situations. I’ve met many different types of people, both Georgians and American volunteers like myself. I’ve learned a great deal from this experience, it’s been an incredible and eye-opening adventure. These past six months have given me my “sense of clarity” and fresh perspective, though not in the sense of a career pathway. I no longer feel the societal pressure to rush through life and attend college just to “get it over with”. I have a reason to go to school; I’m passionate about learning and experiencing new things. I am ready to move forward confidently and with purpose; knowing that all I need to do so is an open mind and a willingness to learn.</p>