I’m sure many of you see these type of posts a lot but basically just want to know if this is a good personal statement.
Really I’m just concerned it sounds too much like a sob story, all of its true but I don’t want it to be the center of the essay. I know it needs a lot of work but is this at least decent? Thank you in advance for any critique or tips you have to offer it is very much appreciated.
…Essay…
I didn’t grow up in a perfect world nor was I raised in the normal family setting. In the early years of my childhood I lived in a dangerous neighborhood and it wasn’t until my dad was shot and killed –gang related violence was a common thing- did my mother decide to relocate my siblings and I to our grandparents house. Being no more than four years old at the time made the grieving process easier, however in my mom’s case it was a different story. She’d leave my siblings and I in the care of our grandparents for days sometimes weeks on end until eventually she stopped coming back all together. I was told she was in Seattle working, however I learned the truth when I was in the first grade. My mom was not looking for work, I don’t think she ever did, instead she had been arrested for drug possession. Since her incarceration, mom has traveled the most in the family moving from prison to prison all at least an hour drive from home. My grandparents did the best they could raising my siblings and I. One thing we were taught was never to tell anyone about the whereabouts of our mother. It was their way of shielding us from the harsh prejudice that often follows children with incarcerated parents.
I learned this the hard way, in the second grade I was ostracized from the class after a classmate I had confided in about my mom and I had a fallen out and the very next day everyone knew that my “real” mom was a “bad person”. After that I preferred to spend my free time alone reading, playing outside, and mostly watching tv. However cartoons never quite caught my full attention it was the documentaries on Animal Planet that had my eyes glued to the screen. Shows like Meerkat Manor or The Crocodile Hunter were my idea of a Saturday morning well spent. This obsession of mine influenced my imagination, instead of a faraway kingdom my backyard was the Amazon or the island of Komodo and I was a wildlife expert on a journey searching for a rare and elusive creature. Animals have always been fascinating to me and these shows I watched and adventures I made up in my backyard only fed my growing interest. Due to the limited resources of my family it was difficult getting into special programs where I could learn more about animals. So instead I took it upon myself to take care of the family pets (most of which were rescued or I found on the streets); dogs, rabbits, fishes, parakeets, a rather grouchy cockatiel, and a rat.
I spent hours researching the best ways to care for my pets. Which bedding was safe for my rat and rabbits? How many gallons does a goldfish need to live a comfortable and healthy life? How does one avoid being bitten when changing the food and water of an aggressive bird? I notice now how my upbringing though not perfect has influenced the way I am today. I didn’t have many friends growing up but I discovered my love of animals. I didn’t have the privilege of signing up for an expensive summer program but I learned what body language to use when handling my Cockatiel. I grew up in a world that may not have been what others consider “good” for a child, but in it I found my dreams and passions and the determination to pursue them so that I can be happy in the world I strive to live in.
in the meantime, I’d recommend you delete your statement from this post due to plagiarism issues (see sticky topics).