<p>Hey guys, I’m applying for college soon, and i’ve been working on my personal statements. Here is my statement for the 2nd prompt, and I was wondering if you guys could go over it and review it. Thanks!</p>
<p>Prompt:
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?</p>
<p>Essay:
The American Dream and Capitalism prevails over the city of San Ramon. Success leads to wealth, and wealth means respect. Greed is praised, and materialism is worshiped by the residents of San Ramon. San Ramon has once been listed as the wealthiest city in the United States, and even now, it ranks among the top wealthiest cities. It is thus natural that a common dream for the students of this city is to succeed in life, acquire wealth, and obtain new comforts.
Im a 1st generation American Born Chinese. My parents were immigrants from a different world, foreign to me and my peers. We did not understand the hardships they went through, the poverty they suffered through. They worked hard to reach the United States, and climb up the social ladder to be able to obtain wealth, and financial security. They fully believe in the American Dream, for it guided them to a better place, and as a result they press the American Dream onto us. This combination of a normal community outlook and parental expectation creates a potent argument for one to be the most successful. The goal to become wealthy through ones own sweat is a noble vision held by many here.
Therefore, I naturally hated this dream. The sermons on rejecting worldly goods at Church gave me an excuse to not try my best. Ironically, religion also provided the chance to change my perspective. During the summer of 2012, I went on a short-term mission trip with my Church to an Apache Native American Reservation in Arizona. I did not particularly get along with the native teens, but instead, I found myself attracted to the local daycare instead. At the daycare, I tutored and played with the children there. One girl was particularly attached to me. The six year old girl would ask me for homework help, follow me to the playground, and even made me read a book to her before nap time. The next day, the girl didnt show up at the daycare. I questioned the employees about the situation, and I discovered that her parents were alcoholics and sent her irregularly to the daycare. In this shattered community, alcohol and drug abuse was seen as normal when compared to the regular cases of suicide and murder. Despair travels down the generations from parents to children in a vicious cycle. Entire generations were dashed into the ground by the extreme poverty found in this place.
I dont need a huge house, or the newest car, but that shouldnt stop me from trying my hardest, If not for me, than for those communities, families, and people who I care about. I had wrongly assumed that a stable family required emotional stability only. My parents who experienced severe poverty had wrongly assumed that stability came with physical wealth. After seeing the pain others felt due to lack of physical wealth, and my own experiences of being emotionally deprived, I want to be able to provide those I care for with both. I dont want to just reach new heights of success to care for those immediately around me, but also those in need such as the little girl I met on the mission trip. I want to be able to help others.</p>