Personal Tragedy

Applying to College
1

<p>Hello everybody, thanks for visiting my thread. What I'm about to say is very personal, but I would like to know if I can salvage my college goals.</p>

<p>I had a buddy that I knew since my childhood. When I first moved to the U.S. in the 5th grade of elementary school, he was my first friend. We became very close and ever since then; we were the best of friends. We planned to go into the business field during college and work together throughout our lives. </p>

<p>But on a January morning, he took his own life (He was a great student, 4.14 GPA, great character). I don't know why he did it. Ever since that day, I've struggled in every waking moment of school. My grades plunged, and I feel very fatigued and discouraged upon arriving home from school. The constant stream of work from school and other activities I participate in have made it hard to me to rally myself, and it is now likely that I will finish the semester with: C C C C C B B (I maintained a 4.2 weighted GPA first semester, with A A A A A A B B)</p>

<p>I've never had a brother or sister, but he was the closest person to a sibling that I have ever known.</p>

<p>I am very discouraged right now, and I am left with no choice but to seek the opinion of others.</p>

<p>I am currently a Junior, and my record consists of:</p>

<p>3.78 GPA Unweighted
ACT Score: 30
40 Hrs Community Service
~1600 Hours Work Experience (In chronological order)
- General Purpose Office Assistant
- Intern in Global Trade Department (Unpaid)
- Marketing Department Assistant
- Market Researcher/Analyst
CSLC Attendee (National Security)
CSLC (International Relations)
CSLC (International Business)
YCS - One of only 275 Students in all of Southern California to be admitted to a week-long leadership summit (Every school in SoCal selects 4 outstanding students, and those students apply directly to YCS)</p>

<ul>
<li>Co-Founder, President of Future Business Leaders of America @ my school</li>
<li>Co-President of American Cancer Society @ my school</li>
<li>Honorable Mention (Top 30) in a national-scale essay contest</li>
<li>Cross-Country Team (Varsity as a Freshman)</li>
</ul>

<p>I am in a tough predicament. I want to go to New York University and attend the Stern School of Business. I believe that my leadership abilities are superior, but I am failing as a student right now.</p>

<p>Will these stats provide me with a foundation which, with a good app. essay, will earn me a slot into NYU?</p>

<p>Thank you for taking the time to address my question. God Bless.</p>

2

<p>First of all, let me offer my condolonces for the death of your friend. It is an extremely difficult thing to deal with and I am not at all surprised that you have had difficulty coping. </p>

<p>Second, rather than worrying too much about school right now, you need to take time to take care of YOURSELF. If individual counseling is available to you, please take advantage of it. Your physician can probably recommend a good therapist and it may be covered under your medical insurance if you have it. If individual therapy is not an option, look for support from the group Survivors of Suicide. These folks have been in your position and can help you deal with your anger and sense of loss. </p>

<p>Third, when college application time rolls around, have your school counselor write a letter to each of the schools to which you are applying to explain your circumstances. College admission committees are not heartless. If they understand the circumstances, they will at least consider them. </p>

<p>Lastly, realize that there are other excellent schools besides NYU that will likely be delighted to have a great student like yourself, in spite of one poor semester. Look at other schools that will help you meet your ultimate goal. Remember, college is really just a means to an end and lots of schools can provide you with the skills you need to reach that end. </p>

<p>Again, take time for yourself and don’t be so hard on yourself either. Hang in there!</p>

3

<p>

</p>

<p>Seconding everything Shennie said, particularly this. Adding the idea that sometimes the first therapist you encounter might not be the one you click with best… Talk with a couple and see who you feel most comfortable with.</p>

<p>Counselors have tools and methods to help you deal with this.</p>

<p>Best of luck to you… colleges will understand. Just get yourself help (one of the hardest things to do is to admit you can’t deal with a problem on your own, but also one of the bravest things you can do), and be kind to yourself.</p>

4

<p>You have my condolences. It is so hard losing a friend through death even when the person is older and the death is expected due to an illness. It is even more devastating when the person is young and takes their own life.</p>

<p>Please follow the advice of people who suggested that you see a counselor or therapist. You are grieving, and counseling can help with that.</p>

<p>In addition, there are Internet resources for people like you (who are called “survivors of suicide”) who have lost friends and relatives because of suicide.</p>

<p>Here’s one such site: [American</a> Association of Suicidology - Dedicated to the Understanding and Prevention of Suicide](<a href=“http://www.suicidology.org/displaycommon.cfm?an=6]American”>http://www.suicidology.org/displaycommon.cfm?an=6)</p>

<p>It includes, a link to a pdf of The SOS Handbook, which " is designed to be a pocket-sized, quick-reference booklet for suicide survivors. Written by fellow survivor Jeffrey Jackson, it is brief, clear, and packed with essential information covering nearly every aspect of the survivor ordeal – from the emotional roller-coaster, to the elusive quest for “Why?”, to how to find support groups in your area."</p>

<p>Also college admissions officers will take into account your grade drop due to the kind of grief you’ve been experiencing. You can have your counselor include an explanation with the counseling report.</p>

<p>However, right now, the most important thing is that you get the emotional support that you need, so please look at the resources that I suggested, and also see about getting counseling. Your GC may be able to help, too.</p>

5

<p>You have my condolences as well. As others said, don’t worry about colleges too much right now - don’t be too hard on yourself. When application time rolls around, have your admissions counselor write a letter to each of the schools you will apply to, outlining your circumstances. Get him/her to follow up with phone calls to the admissions officers/readers who will read your file. As others have said, the AOs and committees are not heartless.</p>

<p>Stay strong and good luck!</p>

6

<p>like they said, school should be the last thing on your mind right now. Focus on getting better emotionally. Maybe let go of a few ECs that are too time consuming as you can’t really focus emotionally anyway ?? </p>

<p>i’m sorry for your loss. all the best.</p>

7

<p>I’m very sorry about your loss, and I know that nothing anyone tells you will help in the least bit</p>

<p>I had the same problem, last november my mother passed away and I felt so alone. Like you my grades went down and I didn’t have any desire to do anything. </p>

<p>You have to understand that righ tnow you’re in mourning, and will be for a few months. Tell an advisor about your situation and they will actually write a letter stating a pardon for your poor grades.
Everyone is human, we have emotions and they effect our performance.</p>

<p>The only thing I can think of to help you is to tell you just to cry, even if it’s hard to. Lock yourself in a room and cry it out, get all of your frustration out, scream, sob, do whatever you have to to release yourself.</p>

<p>Then go to sleep, you’ll feel much better the next day and will be able to focus on work for at least one class</p>

8

<p>I’m really sorry to hear that. I hope you feel ok!</p>

<p>Thank you guys so much for everything. This really means a lot to me. I will definitely take a look at the weblinks and organizations listed here, and I will have another talk with my counselor. </p>

<p>Thanks again everybody</p>