Planning for That Long Winter Break

<p>I can’t wait…last 2 winter breaks, my sleeping schedule was going to bed at 3-4am, waking up at 1-2pm. I probably watch a zillion hours of TV and spend a zillion more hours on facebook/the computer. Hey…college life is stressful (and sleepless). I go to school 3000 miles away, and when I am home, I am a couch potato (plus it is typically less than 0 degrees outside…not conducive to an active lifestyle). But then again, this break I have to do the following: </p>

<p>Start applying for 2011 summer internships
Work on Social Science Study over break
Get school books for the following semester
Write Proposal for MC 499H for Professor Goett
Come up with ideas for Science & War honors option paper
Write more writing samples/collect research on:
-Media Suppression in Mexico due to Violence by Drug Cartels, Drug Punishments and Civil Rights, Narco-state in Guinea-Bissau, Terrorist organizations involved in drug trafficking, Terrorist financing/international money laundering, Drug Trafficking impeding (social, economic, political) development of a country</p>

<p>So I guess I’ll have a relatively productive break after all.</p>

<p>Didn’t want to nag so I sent my daughter a list of what I expected her to do this break. We’ll see if it works!</p>

<p>doubt itl work amtc, the last thing I at least would want when i come home is a list of chores to do after weeks of rigorious all nighters and studying, just my two cents</p>

<p>Omigosh! Does the Chicago Trib have a hidden camera installed in my home?</p>

<p>My sons arrived late last night. I woke up this morning to find several pairs of shoes in the hallway and a stack of shirts on my couch. I thought that was’nt too bad until I stepped into the bedroom and could barely open the door. Their bags were blocking the entry. The dresser had every gadget and essential item sitting on it including much to my dismay glasses of water on their very good wood furniture. I knew I should have had glass cut for that dresser top.</p>

<p>Yes, my S is a vampire. It drives me crazy. Fortunately, he’s traveling with his Dad in January.</p>

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<p>Please tell me how you do this! D’s been home two nights and I am completely exhausted! She met a friend in the city yesterday - train, subways, etc. - and I was completely fine about it. But having the car out a night… I’m a wreck (and I trust her)… Help!</p>

<p>(By they way, she is going to be spending some time at her old job - would like to spend more - but that isn’t going to help me at night…)</p>

<p>I learned to sleep during my kids late night wandering a long time ago! I have my cell phone and home phone next to my bed and I figure I’ll get a call if there is a problem (hopefully from the kid and not the police - although that’s happened too!). We also have a security system that logs when they come home (1am curfew) so I can check it in the morning. We’ve been foster parents to many teenagers over the years (with 2 of our own) and if I stayed awake for each one - I would have never gotten any sleep. Now, our youngest is 15 and I sleep like a baby!</p>

<p>Ah, yes- the dishes. H once counted 4 large bowls and spoons on the upstairs computer desk when I made my appeal for any more dirty dishes before running the dishwasher. Son has been known to come down to the laundry room for underwear still in his laundry bag from school days after his return (I no longer do his laundry and have reminded him to do the rest of his laundry so we are not delayed by it the day we plan to take him back). By now he does at least one load soon and the rest at least a day before leaving. Slowly but surely transforming into the adult we expected from our example, teaching and reminders.</p>

<p>megmno: not an unreasonable request as my son did this over the holidays his sophomore year. Freshman year is a bit early to get an internship. More likely to have a fast-food or camp counselor job at that age.</p>

<p>I don’t mind son’s hours when he is home because I have one who never left and who keeps the same hours. I’ve given up on family dinners. We shoot for once a week, maybe twice. Rest of the time he’s often at the movies around dinnertime or out to dinner with friends. My only complaint is getting up in the morning to a messy kitchen. No one ever unloads the dishwasher, everything just piles up in the sink.</p>

<p>I used to worry about them missing meals from sleeping in but I’ve learned to deal with it. Sometimes one of them has breakfast as we’re having lunch. Omelets can be eaten any time of day. And I remind them to eat healthy late night snacks (have you had your milk today??) :)</p>

<p>I have learned to roll over and go back to sleep when the bathroom door creaks at 2 a.m.</p>

<p>I am going to make sure things like resume-revising & prelim job search take place during this “down” time.</p>

<p>Dave it gets really old… I am giving a list of chores for everyday. For some I will give him a chance to earn some $ (about $10 or $20 a day ). It’s a few days before Christmas & I could use the help-- normally I’d make him do it w/out rewarding $ but this way makes it more pleasant and now he has some cash.</p>

<p>Whoever said the D is going to shows-- isn’t that $$$?</p>

<p>I said that NJ. Spiderman was full price and I paid but all the others are student rush which is around $20. It’s her major and we’re okay with it BUT, I have given her a list (via both email and taped to her computer) of things that need to get done this vacation. Yes, I would love it if she had nothing to do but, without some preliminary work over break, she’s not going to be working in her field over the summer! </p>

<p>As hard as it is, I am trying to ignore whatever she does/does not do over break. Should she not do her research etc. for this summer then she’ll work as a clerk or waitress or whatever. Just so she doesn’t stay home doing nothing. She can also go to Great Britain (London, Scotland, etc.) for Shakespeare training but needs to get that together in the next few weeks as well.</p>

<p>This is her dream, not ours, she’s chosen a very difficult field, either she’s up to the challenge or she’s not. I’m trying really hard to take this hard line. Bets on how long I stay tough?</p>

<p>I have the other side of the fence…this could be our last long holiday break as my kids have gotten older. My D is in graduate school in London, hoping to work in NYC next year. My S has been working a co-op (wonderful!) for engineering but that meant he was either at work or school since freshman year. I was so excited for him to get the co-op but sad for me- I figured I still had years of telling him not to sleep all day, pick up your clothes, don’t you need to look for a job and suddenly that was gone! Instead, he’s the responsible kid who worked almost through winter break last year. He came home for two weekends this summer. So instead of dreading this time, I’m relishing it. I’m trying not to be upset with glasses and food all over. With pjs all day. With the teasing of the younger siblings as the time together for this extended time is short. And you can only know that from this side of the fence.</p>

<p>Do you all have a ‘curfew’ for your college children when they come home from break? My D thinks going out everynight and coming home at 1-2-3-4 am is ok. I have a very hard time having my daughter out at all hours of the night even if she tells me where she is. It might be because her and her friends drink too much for my taste, but how do you all handle this? Do you have any rules? I have no problem with the mess because there isn’t any, she’s very neat, only with her going out day after day, coming home at all hours and drinking (not everyday). I work all day and sometimes I come home and don’t see her at all because she goes out before I get home.</p>

<p>123mom --My S is continuing with the same pattern of his senior year in HS now that he is home for his first college break: his group of guy friends congregate at the homes of a few of them whose parents are nice enough and have the space to accommodate six or seven of them. The guys stay put once they arrive around 9 or so and they all stay over, so I don’t worry about drinking and driving. When S sees a girl at night instead of hanging with the guys, I worry more because it means he’s driving around on back roads, but he’s usually home around 1. A curfew hasn’t been necessary, but if he weren’t staying at his friends homes, I’d probably want him home by 1:30.</p>

<p>123mom - talk to your daughter. Tell her you would like to see her a bit more and that you’re concerned about her drinking and driving. This behavior will probably lessen as her vacation wears on but she’s an adult now and try telling her your thoughts. I don’t think a hard and fast curfew would be advisable but through conversation she might come around to your way of thinking.</p>

<p>Of course, you don’t say what her behavior or your relationship was like before she left for school but hopefully a conversation will work. Good luck!</p>

<p>We have many conversations about respect. While we have set a 1am curfew for our kids (or any kids staying with us), we recognize that sometimes they will be late. Maybe they are watching a movie at a friends house, or they are at a concert that ends late. In that case, we expect a call or text. Sometimes, they will decide to spend the night wherever they are (especially if they have been drinking). Again, we expect a call before 1am. Our kids know that if they are ever caught drinking and driving, they will lose all car priveleges. Also, if they fail to call and miss curfew, they lose car priveleges. And we have followed through in the past! We have a 25 yr old who occasionally comes home and he still follows our rules - just out of respect for us.</p>

<p>No curfew for my D who is freshman on break from NYU. What we started when she was 17 is that she has no curfew, but has to text me every time she changes location…when she leaves one place and when she gets to the next place. I always know where she is and have that comfort level. I trust her . She is not a drinker but knows that if she did she could call me and I would come get her no questions asked. If she decides to stay over at a friend’s she does text me to let me know that. Some nights I don’t get much sleep with this system, but it works for us. I started this so she could get used to making her own decisions. Even now while at college she sometimes lets me know when she is in for the night!</p>

<p>We don’t have a curfew but ask for updates if they’re driving somewhere late. When the weather is bad, we ask them not to use the car. We do monitor drinking and driving and would have no problem picking someone up or going to get the car the next morning. Except for the immense amounts of ice cream and cookies they’re consuming, it’s a pleasure to have them back in the house.</p>