planning in early years

Parents Forum
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<p>Dear Parents,</p>

<p>My son is rather young (5th grade), but I am already thinking about the application process--largely because I went to collage at another country, and am not familiar with the U.S. college application process. From what I understand, the essays are extremely important both in demonstrating the unique individuality/interests/passions/leadership etc. as well as quality of writing. </p>

<p>My questions are:</p>

<p>1) What kind of help I can give my son to improve his writing and communication skills in general? For example, are there any online courses? How can I find resources locally? At this age of google, I am almost embarrassed to ask this, but I could not come up with much useful info.</p>

<p>2) Looking ahead, I realize that one has to be a bit strategic in terms of planning activities. For example, continuity seems to be important. Other than that, is there anything I should know? In particular, are there things that you feel glad that you have done starting with middle school or regret that you have not thought about at the time?</p>

<p>Thanks so much.</p>

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<p>At this point I think the best thing you can do is let your kid be a kid with a couple of caveats. In many schools systems tracking kids begins in middle school - make sure that your kid is taking courses that are commensurate with his ability. If your child is on the edge between say starting algebra earlier or later, opt for earlier, because it is always easier to backtrack if the level is wrong than to make up what you have missed.</p>

<p>I think the most important thing is to let your children find and develop their interests. It could be anything from music, to computer programming, to reading all the Star Wars novels to making and selling origami jewelry. (All activities from our household.) </p>

<p>There are online writing courses, the only one I've heard feedback about (the parents were happy) are the ones offered by [url=<a href="http://cty.jhu.edu/ctyonline/index.html%5DCTYOnline%5B/url"&gt;http://cty.jhu.edu/ctyonline/index.html]CTYOnline[/url&lt;/a&gt;]. Your child has to be qualified (by standardized test score results) to take their courses.</p>

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<p>Encourage your son to read, read, read.</p>

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<p>And to learn his multiplication tables cold.</p>

5

<p>sherpa, is right of course. Reading is incredibly important. I don't know if you can make a kid like to read, but anything you can do to encourage reading should be done. That means getting subscriptions to magazines he might like (we get Air and Space and Scientific American, but another household might get Sports Illustrated, or news or fashion.) It doesn't matter as long as reading is getting done. Sci fi, fantasy, romance novels - they are all good. They'll read plenty of more high quality literature in school.</p>

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<p>Make sure the kid is being challenged in math. This is when the kid can get double and tripple accelerated (two or three years ahead of class).</p>

7

<p>One thing that I've noticed, at least in our school district, is that the tracking that was done in elementary school largely carried over to the middle school, and the tracking in middle school carried over to high school. So the kids who were placed into Advanced Math in 3rd grade were put into the honors track in middle school and then again in high school, whereas the child who was borderline to go into advanced in third grade but went into the standard class is likely going to end up in a lower track in high school. Had I known then what I know now, I might have been like some of the other parents who fought to get their borderline children into the advanced track, because that is where the best teachers were and once you fall behind, you're behind for the duration in most cases. I didn't think it mattered at the time so I didn't make a stink about it, even when I saw kids with lower test scores and performance than mine going into the advanced class. So assume that things like that matter and advocate for your child when appropriate.</p>

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<p>I will also say reading is probably one of the most important thing your son can do.</p>

9

<p>Wow, excellent suggestions. Thanks so much. </p>

<p>A bit more background: My son is taking CTY math courses. I am not good with pushing the teachers. In fact, the only time I talk to them is when there is a meeting scheduled, and I only listen. I can tell that (at least in his old school) this prevented him getting into advanced classes because there were more pushy parents. That's when I thought I should take matters to my own hand and came across with CTY. Anyhow, he is doing well in math, and his new teachers take notice. </p>

<p>My concern is more on his verbal/writing/vocabulary skills (his verbal score is borderline below required by CTY to take their courses) and also whether I am doing the right things in terms of pursuing "right" activities.</p>

<p>Also, related to pushing the teachers in getting into advanced courses: I don't even check my son's homeworks, he is very disciplined on his own. I know however, one of our friends whose son goes to the same school as mine, practically do their kid's homework, and they out right say this in casual conversation. Their kid is in honor's math class. For the long run I know I am doing the right thing, but I cannot keep wonder how much teachers notice this and take into account who gets into advanced classes.</p>

<p>Sorry to digress, in my mind they are all related (and about whether I am doing the right things for my son as far as his education his concerned).</p>

<p>Again, your suggestions are all very helpful, thanks so much.</p>

10

<p>It's great that your son has the self-discipline to handle his homework on his own. Many fifth graders are not that mature.</p>

<p>Be aware, though, that there will occasionally be projects that he can't handle by himself; the teachers expect parents to help in such cases, even if the help is only in planning a schedule for a long-term project and buying supplies.</p>

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<p>I don't even help my kids with homework once they pass 2nd grade. However, if they have any questions regarding anything they may ask. I think I leave it up to them to do the right things and learn on their own.</p>

12

<p>
[quote]
I don't even check my son's homeworks,

[/quote]
</p>

<p>I don't either. I bug the kid to make sure it is done. Kids are doing well, so there is no need to do any more than that.</p>

<p>If the kid was getting bad grades, then I would make the effort to read over the homework and to discuss (tutor) areas that are weak.</p>

<p>Sorry, I don't have suggestions on helping a child to learn how to write better. I think getting kids to read a lot of good books will help.</p>

13

<p>Reading is how a child develops his ear for language, which in turn makes him a better natural writer. But what can a parent do to interest a 5th grade boy in books when there are so many distractions?<br>
Some ideas:
Frequent your local library with your son. Ask the librarian for a list of the best fiction books for your child's grade level, and start there. Our library has a list already made up and available for each grade level with enough books to keep a child reading for a year.</p>

<p>Read aloud at night with your child before bed. Listening to the language aloud is as effective as reading themselves for developing language skills. Reading with mom or dad also creates positive associations with reading and will stimulate interest.</p>

<p>Fill your home with books. Limit computer and television time in the home- not just the time your child is allowed to access the electronic media, but the rest of the family as well. If you are online or watching the news when you come home every evening, your son will not associate reading with something important.</p>

<p>Talk about what you're reading at the dinner table and in the car. Join a book group ( parents, I mean). Let your son see that reading is fun for you. </p>

<p>While a lot of boys enjoy magazines and non-fiction, be sure that he is also reading plenty of fiction, as the writing in children's fiction must be excellent for the book to be recognized and worth publishing. While non-fiction can be well-written, it often is not, and the content, or the message, can take precedence over the quality of the writing. Most biographies written for kids fall into this category.</p>

<p>Make sure your son has a generous amount of free time during his day to dream, to read, and to play. Kids that are programmed and scheduled with activities every afternoon will never feel that they have the "time" to read for pleasure. A child needs unstructured time to develop his imagination, which leads to creative and expressive writing.</p>

<p>One is never too young to develop a love of reading. Good writing will follow.</p>

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<p>1 Love of reading
2 Passion for learning (i.e. curiousity, willingness to try new things and make mistakes etc)
3 Know your school system (i.e. at our school, you have to take science during the summer before 9th grade in order to get on the accelerated science track)
4 As a parent, reflect on what makes your child unique/special....encourage your child to be self-reflective in casual discussions.</p>

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<p>Reading: If English is your second language, encourage your child's fluency in your first language by reading to him in that language and speaking it with him at home and within your language community. If there is a local language school that he can attend (my area has Saturday schools for native and near-native speakers of Chinese, Korean, Russian, Spanish, Farsi, German, etc.), sign him up so he can develop literacy skills in your first language. Happykid is bilingual in English and Spanish and attended Saturday school from grades 3 through 10 and I read all of the Harry Potter books to her in both languages up through volume 5. She read vols. 6 and 7 to herself in English.</p>

<p>Writing: My mother always kept a journal, and happykid started to keep one on her own in about 5th grade. I have no idea what she writes in it, but she writes every night. I'm convinced that this has increased her comfort with writing in general, which has resulted in improved writing for school. I have nothing good to say about the write-to-the-five-paragraph formula forced on her by her 9th grade English teacher. Your kid will learn a lot more about writing from reading, reading, reading whatever he can get his hands on than he will in most English classes.</p>

<p>Let your kid be a kid: Your job is to help your kid become his own best self. There are something like 3000 colleges and universities in the USA, and graduates of each and every one of them have gone on to lead successful productive lives. Do not let yourself become sucked into a pursuit of a high prestige education for its own sake, and remember that many careers do not require a college degree at all. In happykid's case, her chosen profession is one that most often is entered through a union apprenticeship, rather than through a college degree program. If she's still convinced this is what she wants to do when she's 18, I will personally drive her down to the local union hall and watch her sign up.</p>

<p>Listen to the teachers: If you kid has good teachers, they are noticing what he is doing, what his personality is like, and what his interests are. As he progresses in school, they will have ideas for him and for you about possible directions that his studies can take, and activities that he might like to pursue.</p>

<p>Listen to your kid: He will have his own ideas about what he wants to learn, and in HS he will probably have a much greater variety of classes to choose from than you had at that age. Happykid chose to take Forensic Science because of the teacher, and Computer Programming because of the teacher, and Yoga because a friend would be in that class. She chose Honors English because the reading list looked more interesting, and Studio Art rather than Intro. to Art because the work would be more interesting. She took the Theater Tech Internship so that she could get a head start of the stage lighting she was doing for the fall play. And, she got drafted for the TV Studio group that does the school morning announcements because everyone else on the stage crew was in TV Studio. Happydad (who grew up in Latin America) looks at her class schedule and just can't understand it. Where is the heavy science? Where is the advanced math? To him it looks like so much basket-weaving. She is learning a lot. She is learning real science in Forensics, and real electrical skills in the Internship, and real people management skills in TV Studio. She will graduate with only two AP classes (both in Studio Art), and truly, she couldn't be happier or better prepared for her career goals in stage lighting.</p>

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<p>This is a little off topic but now is an excellent time to start learning the ins-and-outs of financial aid and how best to set up planned finances to optimize your chances of getting aid. I'm no expert but did figure out that junior year of high school is too late to start!</p>

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<p>These are great posts with lots of good advice. One thing I would add is to remind your child to get to know his guidance counselor and teachers in high school. They are the ones who will be writing the recommendations for colleges and scholarships so your child needs to make sure they know him.
Also ( I got this from a friend who is a guidance counselor), as your child starts high school, keep a list of all of his activities/sports/service projects/honors/awards, etc ( both in and outside of school). We did this and it was very useful for applications.
You are very wise to start planning now. Good luck!</p>

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<p>Thanks so much for all the great advice including the things that I haven't even thought of yet. Extremely useful. Thanks again.</p>

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<p>My H is also an immigrant, but with excellent English skills. Math is not multiplication tables- my gifted son the math major didn't take to that as easily as one would think (just read a book by a college math professor that confirms the difference between arithmetic and math skills).</p>

<p>In your situation it sounds like assertiveness and language skills are the ones to focus on. </p>

<p>Find out what the middle school (6th-8th grades) is like. Push to get your son placed at as high a level as he can most benefit from. For math see what you can do to get him into the best class as it seems he does exceptionally well in it. For language arts try to get him with the best teacher. This means meeting with his guidance counselor for next year this spring, before they finalize their classes. It is true that "the squeaky wheel gets the grease"- in other words you have to find out what the options are, discuss them with the school and make your child known to them as an individual. When they are randomly assigning hundreds of kids to various teachers they can make the effort with a few for whom certain teachers will make a difference. Treat the school teachers, counselors, principals, etc as your partners in educating your child. As a parent you should expect to feel like their equals in raising your child. You also should discuss your son's abilities- strengths and weaknesses- with his current teacher so you know what to aim for. You can question without arguing if you disagree with placements.</p>

<p>Your job as a parent is to know as much as you can about your school system as it applys to your child. Ask questions when you can't figure out something. At this age parents do a lot without the child being involved or even knowing what is being done. Question any study halls - many schools presume all students need them, yours may or may not.</p>

<p>I know too many parents who let the system flow without finding out how to maximize their child's experience. That only gets your child an adequate, not a best, education.</p>

<p>Many other good parental suggestions here. Especially about READING. Go to your public libarary with your child weekly, check out many books and have him spend time reading. You can ask his teacher for book lists and other suggestions. The more he reads the more he learns the vocabulary, grammmar, etc of our language.</p>

<p>I could go on forever. The other important thing that has been mentioned is always remember the child first. Let him have a good childhood. Exposure to other local kids will also teach him things about American culture you can't. It is more important for his future that he gets the firm foundation age appropriate activities provide than too much only in academics. Above the average time and effort in academics is not too much, only academics without fun is.</p>

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<p>If you can be involved at your child's school as a parent volunteer, that will go a long way towards supporting your son's experience there without being too "helicopterish". There are many ways to contribute, whether it's a public or private school, and in addition, it will increase your own comfort level with the staff and faculty there. (and theirs with you.) Your son will benefit too, knowing that you believe in his school and are doing your part.</p>

<p>My other suggestion is to continue reading to your son. I did this with my daughter well into middle school, particularly books that were just beyond her reading level. We both really enjoyed it. I know my D looks back on it fondly to this day. (and so do I)</p>