<p>Has anyone had this situation: Your D or S does not get into his/her 1st choice school, so he/she plans to enroll in the 2nd choice school and transfer. If so, did that transfer ever happen, or did they learn to love the 2nd choice school? </p>
<p>Is this something a parent should be encouraging about, in a "keep the dream alive" way (ie, "Don't worry, work hard, get good grades and you can try again with the 1st choice school"), or do you think it benefits the child to have the parent take a more pessimistic viewpoint about transferring (ie, "That's no way start your freshman year. Try to love the school that accepted you.")</p>
<p>The 1st choice school is unique, by the way. I'm not talking about the difference between 2 similar LACs, for example. And the first choice school is a stretch, but not ridiculously out of reach. Thanks.</p>
<p>I know a young lady who didn’t get into her first choice school Early Decision. She was rejected again Regular Decision. She went to the school she liked best of the places she was accepted (I’m pretty sure it wasn’t even her second or third choice in the original list). She planned from the beginning to attempt to transfer to her first choice school, and she spent her freshman year in college working on the transfer paperwork. By the time spring rolled around, she was reasonably happy where she was, and she knew that it would work if she weren’t accepted as a transfer. In the end, she was accepted, and headed off to her “dream” school for her sophomore year. She has been very happy there.</p>
<p>I can’t speak directly to her parents’ attitude about the whole process, but my impression was that they kept pretty neutral and left the decisionmaking process up to her.</p>
<p>I think as a parent I would not push it one way or the other. If it is important enough to the kid, he would do what’s necessary to make it happen. If parents leans too much toward transferring, then the kid may perceive the parents are not happy or proud with the 2nd choice school. I would encourage the kid to like the 2nd choice school and say, “If you don’t find it to be the right school, you would have our support to transfer, but it’ll be up to you to do the work to make it happen.”</p>
<p>Many years ago I decided to do exactly that. I started working on my transfer application before the first week of classes was over. Some 20 years later, I can honestly say it was one of the best decisions I ever made.</p>
<p>Bad, bad idea. This is a really effective way to be miserable at the first school. I would encourage my child to give her whole heart to the school she’s attending for at LEAST one semester/quarter without any transfer plans. There’s time for that down the road, after grades come out. In the meantime, she should be investing in friendships and responsibilities at her own school.</p>
<p>This goes double if the school is really her #2 choice, and not her failsafe #10 choice.</p>
<p>And this is coming from someone who did decide to try to transfer on her third night at her first school. If the school is her #2 choice, it should not be a terrible mismatch like my first school was for me.</p>