please critque this very rough draft, tear it apart if you want!!!

<p>I am in the beginning stages of writing my college essay. I just wrote this in about an hour. Its just a start. Please give me comments on how I can improve it or if you think the topic is bad all together. I can PM it to you upon request.</p>

<p>Thanks in advance i really appreciate it!!</p>

<p>Eric</p>

<p>anyone????? please</p>

<p>If you want some feedback, just drop me a pm.</p>

<p>send it over.</p>

<p>I'll try my best, send it in.</p>

<p>yeah, i'll take a look</p>

<p>Sure, I'll critique it. PM me.</p>

<p>i actually started a totally new top late last night so ill send you that one which i think is better</p>

<p>I'll take a look if you want~</p>

<p>I'll take a look.</p>