Please Grade my DBQ

I just did the 2010 AP World History DBQ. The link is <a href=“http://apcentral.collegeboard.com/apc/public/repository/ap11_frq_world_history.pdf”>http://apcentral.collegeboard.com/apc/public/repository/ap11_frq_world_history.pdf</a>.
Please tell me what I did wrong and what can be improved. I think my wording and grammer may be very awkward. Also I feel like my thesis is too detailed. What can be done to shorten it? Also, I was rushed in the last paragraph because of time. Thanks!</p>

<pre><code> From the 1880s to the 1930s both Japan and India have had a rapid mechanization of the cotton industry. However, each country uses different genders to work in the factories, but both use people of the farming, rural population. In addition, conditions are very harsh and the gap between the rich and the poor increases.
While young women and girls were the prime choice of workers by the Japanese, males worked much more in the cotton factories in India. This is shown from document 7 which says only about 20% of cotton textile workers in India were women from 1909-1934, but there was a much higher percentage of cotton textile workers who were women in Japan. Document 8 shows that many women worked in Japanese cotton factories while document 10 shows men working in Indian factories. The reason more men worked in Indian factories is probably because of the Hindu religion which suppressed women from working in jobs.
There has been a rapid mechanization of cotton in both India and Japan which led to the much greater production of cotton yarn and cloth. Documents 1 and 2 both show the immense increase in the amount of cotton produced in both India and Japan from 1884 to 194. This mechanization is largely due to foreign influences. Britian colonized India and set up cotton mills and introduced the industrial revolution. In Japan, pressures from the U.S led to rapid wsternization and economic modernization which allowed the Japanese to hold off American forces. While the Japanese held off the U.S India fell to Britian Colonization, but both led to the mechanization of the cotton Industry.
Documents 3, 4, and 5 show varying opinions of the conditions of workers and their families in the cotton industry in Japan. Document 3 gives a first hand experience of Japanese women’s poor conditions and low pay. Document 4 contradicts document 3 saying the girl’s families may be poor, but the girls in the cotton industry were paid well. Document 5 contradicts document 4, but gives an explanation for the poor pay mentioned in document 3. Doc. 5 says the farmers, family of the working girls, were paid extremely well and that helps them support their entire family while the cotton industry girls only need to support themselves, so that is why thy are paid less. Shunsuke, a japanese industrialist, is supporting the industrialization and does not care about the poor pay of the girls and only wants the country to become industrialized. This is why he is trying to explain away the poor pay of the girls with lies. Document 3 gives a vivid 1st person experience of working in a Japanese cotton factory, but there is no similare document for people working in an Indian factory. It would be nice to have the document to better analyze the factor conditions of the 2 nations.
Document 1 and 6 contradict each other in that doc. 1 shows data that says the production of hand woven cloth increase from 1884-1914 and actually exceeds the machine made cloth. On the contrary, document 6 says the hand woven cloth industry has declined greatly. Document 6, from MukerJee, is probably just trying to draw support for the local textile industry, and he emphasizes the native people who contributed to this. Document 9 talks about the poor pay for Indians.
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