Score my AP World History DBQ?

Hey there! I’m a sophomore taking AP World History, and today in class as exam preparation we did a practice DBQ. The only thing is our teacher isn’t going to grade it, so I was wondering if anyone would be willing to read it and give it a score from 1 to 9 and provide some suggestions for improvement. This was written in 40 minutes with a 10 minute reading period.</p>

Prompt: Compare the attitudes of Western European countries and the U.S. toward imperialism with the response of indigenous people to imperialism. What types of additional documentation would be useful to determine the attitudes toward Imperialism in the late 19th and early 20th centuries?</p>

The historian Niall Ferguson has written that, for better or for worse, humankind would be completely different were it not for European imperialism in the 18th, 19th, and 20th centuries. Especially in the 19th century, the European scramble for colonies increased in scale and pace. So widespread were the colonies of Great Britian, for example, thta it was said the sun never set on the British Empire. European justificiations for Imperialism, however, were often fully rejected by native populations.</p>

European colonizers were indisputably greedy, and this contributed to the resentment many natives felt towards them. Document 1, a speech by Kaiser Wilhelm II of Germany (a country which was, incidentally, late to the colonizing process) illustrates the fact that Europeans viewed themselves as entitled to colonial possessions, which were to remain their “indisputed possessions” at any cost necessary. Document 6 shows ho completely Europe’s and the U.S.'s domination of the world was: vast percentages of Asia, Africa, Polynesia, and the entirely of Australia were held by Europeans. Document 10, a political cartoon, shows graphically that Europeans were bent on securing as many possessions as possible, even if it meant “Painting South Africa with blood.” The attitude of the U.S. was slightly different. In Document 4, Teddy Roosevelt claims the U.S. felt no land hunger, but he leaves open the possibility of American intervention in “chronic wrongdoing” countries. This arrogant attitude was rejected by the colonized. In Document 8, Gandhi writes that, despite centuries of subjugation, native Indians believe that they alone are the true leaders of India.</p>

Economic concerns were a chief motivation in European colonization, and native populations were extremely angry at what they viewed as the exploitation of their resources. Documents 1 and 3, from the German and French leaders respectively, show that both countries viewed colonial possessions as essential for a healthy economy, especially because they provided outlets for exports and safe harbors and ports for European Navies. As Kaiser Wilhelm II put it, “OUr future lies upon the water.” In Document 2, an English economist states explicitly that it was demand for foreign markets that was responsible for the adoption of imperialism as a political policy in Great Britain. Although Europeans viwed themselves as entitled to economic benefit from their holdings, the colonized resented the exploitation of their resources. In Documents 7 and 8, people living under the thumb of the British beseech the British government to consider not just profit, but human concerns. As Document 7 shows, Britain profited handsomely from unequal trade with China for 200 years, and eventually the Chinese grew angry, specifically at British opium smuggling. Gandhi, in Document 8, wrties more forcefully than Lin Zexu in Document 7 (Lin wrote several decades before Gandhi when the European empires were more powerful), telling Britain it “must abandon the idea of deriving any commercial benefit from us.” all the documents provided in this vein are from the points-of-view of Native peoples critical of economic exploitation; a more complete picture would be provided if documents from colonized people who benefited from trade with Europe were also included, because such people were instrumental in keeping the European Imperial system in place. </p>

The European drive for colonies wasn’t just economically motivated, it was also rooted in Europeans’ belief that through colonization they could actually benefit native peoples. This sentiment was particularly resented by colnized people who suffered at the hands of Europeans. In Documents 4 and 5, Westerners write on the importance of American and Great Britain to improving other nations. Roosevelt takes a condescending attitude that indicates clearly he believes American to be superior to the less-developed countries of the Western hemisphere, while Josiah Strong states bluntly that colonization is necessary for the spiritual salvation of non-Anglo-Saxon peoples. But the reality of colonization was, from the perspective of the colonized, filled with terrible human rights abuses. Documents 8 and 9 show that, for all the Western talk of brining uncivilized peoples to the light of Christianity, many Westerners behaved barbarically during the process of colonization. These documents both deal specifically with the treatment of Indians in Great Britian. In Document 8, Gandhi writes that Indians, as Hindus and Muslims, have no interest in being Christianized. In Document 9, Sarojini Naidu, a female Indian nationalist, writes that “imperial treasures” of honor and female chasitty didn’t prevent British soldiers from stripping women naked and floggin gthem. There was a disconnect between European declarations of the benefits conferred on colonized people and the reality of how the Europeans handled their colonies. Of course, such abuses were not entirely hidden from the view of the European public. The inclusion of documents from Europeans critical of abusive policies would a llow a more nuanced picture of the European attitude toward Imperialism.</p>

Ultimately, Europeans were unable to sustain their colonial holdings. Their justifications for Imperialism were fully rejected by Native populations, who resented European greed, desire for economic expansion, and proselytizing. As Mao Zedong, a post-Imperial leader controversial in his own light wrote, “Imperialism is a paper tiger.”</p>

THANKS A MILLION.</p>

bump…
please? I’ll be your frieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeend!</p>

Don’t say “In document 1.” Say, “In Theodore Roosevelt’s speech he said, ‘Walk softly, but carry a big stick’” (Doc 1).</p>

And what is your thesis statement?</p>

I haven’t read the whole thing, but your intro is not good enough. Frankly, I see no thesis statement, which is the fundamental answer to the question. All I see is you stating that mankind would be different now if Europe hadn’t been imperialistic and that the Natives disagreed with the greatness of European imperialism. That is not a thesis, and considering that your whole essay is answered based upon your thesis, I can imagine that this DBQ would not get a very good grade.</p>

You should have grouped your documents in a logical way that could help you answer the questions. This should be seen in your thesis, once you formulate one. Since I don’t know your documents, I can’t specifically help you out. However, your thesis should clearly state the Western European attitudes toward imperialism, the United States attitudes towards imperialism, and the indigenous attitudes towards imperialism. Thus, your thesis should read something like:</p>

“Between the late 19th and early 20th centuries, the attitude of Western Europe and the United States towards imperialism was similar in that they both sought more territory and viewed it as being vital to the success of their respective nations, as seen in (write one specific example given to you from one of the documents for both Western Europe and for the United States). This, however, is opposed to the indigenous attitude toward imperialism, despising this policy for decimating populations and whatnot, as seen in (wirte one specific example from the documents).”</p>

^ that’s more of intro (and a very rough one at that), but for World your thesis statement can be your intro. I would also add in a concluding and clincher sentence that would bring the two sentences together.</p>

My thesis statement was, “European justifications of Imperialism were often fully rejected by Native populations.” Each body paragraph was intended to show a European justification and how it was rejected by the colonized. I can definitely see how this seems weak/doesn’t fully address the prompt, which asks about “attitudes,” but based on the documents they gave us it seemed like we should focus on the justifications. </p>

Is it okay if the thesis is more than one sentence?</p>

Also is it better to have 2 body paragraphs or 3?</p>

Thanks for your help!</p>

Anybody else? Clearly it has a few problems…</p>

Well, I received a 5 on this exam last year and I think you did a good job. I don’t see any problem with saying “Document 1 shows that…” That’s how I was taught to cite sources and I was taught this in two different schools with extremely high pass rates. I do agree that your thesis needs work. I personally think an introduction really isn’t necessary and all you need is a very strong thesis before you delve into your body paragraphs. I think you need to be more specific in how the natives reacted…it’s hard for me to say how to improve without the actual documents. </p>

But you wrote a strong DBQ so don’t stress too much! Good luck on your AP exams!</p>

Ok, thanks! I’ll definitely keep that in mind.</p>

Does anyone have any advice about the number of paragraphs? Is it better to have 2 or 3 OR EVEN 4 body paragraphs?</p>

And is it okay for the thesis to be a couple of sentence?</p>

body paragraphs should be based on document groupings. Thesis should not be long. Don’t be afraid to make your essay mechanical and straightforward in history. This sounds more like an pseudo-existentialist (not really) english paper.</p>

^It depends on the question, though I don’t think you’ll have enough time to write 4 body paragraphs. What I do is split the docs into groups and write a body paragraph for each group.</p>

So for this one it might have been more logical to group them in two ways, European attitudes and Native attitudes, and just have two body paragraphs? Would that be too simplistic?</p>