please grade my essay from the range 0-6

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>while some people promote competition as the only way to achieve success,others emphasize the power of cooperation.Intensive rivalry at work or play or engaging in competition involving ideas or skills may indeed drive people either to avoid failure or to chieve important vicyories.In a complex world,however cooperation is much more likely to produce significant,lasting accomplishments.</p>

<p>Assign: Do ppl achieve more success by cooperation than by competition?plan and write an essay in which you develp your point of view on this issue.support your position with reasoning and examples taken from reading;studies;observations.</p>

<p>Rhonda Byrne,the famous author of ''The Secret'' says if one's attitude is of competing then he/she attracts more situations and people against which he/she will have to compete and ultimately he/she will lose.
Byrne's staement can be proved by the people from history:Napolean and Hitler.Both these historical figures had an attitude of fighting fircely against everyone to aggrandize the area under them and showcase their superiority.They both competed:competed against countries by warfare and ultimately they lost:their pride;respect from their countrymen;their countries and their lives.Therefore competition probably earned them short-time wins but in the long run they lost.
Unlike competition,cooperation ensures lasting accomplishments.For example Akbar,the most benevolent Mughal ruler in India,mostly acquired land by matrimonial alliances which were ensued by his utmost cooperation with other kings.He hardly fought wars.He cooperated with both hindus and muslims in his kingdom,ensuring welfare to both religious groups.All this enabled him to earn more land under his kingdom and respect from the people of his kingdom.He is still fondly remembered as one of the best rulers pre-colonial India had seen.
Therefore I'd like to conclude cooperation is the key to lasting success and happiness as can be understood from the ways of Akbar.Cooperation helps you to check your ego and makes you and others around you happy.</p>

2

<p>is it that bad??</p>

3

<p>2-4 Avoid First person develop ideas further</p>

4

<p>I give 3 points.</p>

5

<ol>
<li>Make it longer, you should try to practice writing 5 paragraphs in under 20 minutes or so (the shorter time, the better).</li>
<li>Spelling</li>
<li>What dudeofswim said</li>
</ol>

<p>Overall: 2-3; SAT scoring: 5-6/12.</p>

6

<p>There’s a bit to work on in terms of writing style and content, so I’d suggest finding a guide or tutor. In my view your idea presents an adequate degree of critical thinking, but is lacking in analysis and grammar use. (Use some variety in your sentence composition.) By the essay rubric, your idea should score between 3 and 4. However, this is a holistically displeasing piece. Hence, I’d expect essay graders to be slightly harsher on you and score a 5/12.</p>

<p>Some tips for presentation:</p>

<ol>
<li>Leave a space between paragraphs, it’s eye pleasing for the marker and avoids any possible confusion.</li>
<li>Leave a space after a comma, as exemplified in this sentence. (Same goes for period, colon, etc)</li>
<li>A book is underlined and not quoted.</li>
<li>Don’t use a slash except when indicating a line-break in poetry. (“He/she” should read “one”)</li>
<li>Avoid using colons and semicolons, it’s a bad look if they’re used incorrectly.</li>
<li>Races and religions are capitalised. (Hindu, Muslim.)</li>
</ol>

7

<p>3 one grader
5 two graders</p>

8

<p>I mean 3 from 6 , or 6 from 12.
Thanks.</p>

9

<p>My suggestions:

  1. Increase volume 2 times that it is now.
    2)More examples from history
    3)Points direct to the topic.</p>