Please grade my essay on 12....

PROMPT:-
Why do we not value the creative arts more than we do? Why are subjects like music, drama, photography, and creative writing always the first to be cut from school budgets during hard times? Many would answer that, unlike math, science, history, and other subjects taught in school, the arts are unnecessary. But this is so untrue. The arts are as necessary as these other subject areas—possibly even more necessary.

Assignment: Is it absolutely necessary for people to study the creative arts? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.

MY ESSAY:-
Today, we are in a society which put art forms like music, drama, photography, etc. in the ‘Entertainment’ section in the newspaper. But the concept of creative arts is something really serious. Although people do not regard academics and arts the same, it is really necessary for people to understand the vitality of arts. Recent studies show that young people who participate regularly in the arts are about four times more likely to be recognized for academic achievement than children who do not participate since artistic people use their ears and eyes, as well as large and small muscles more efficiently.
Young people must be encouraged to practice creative arts if they want even if people around them do not accept their decisions. Art enhances one’s individuality and independence while strengthening the understanding difficult abstractions. Schools ought to initiate ways of encouraging creative art forms for the development of children.

For example, Dr. Karl Paulnack, the pianist and director of the music division at the Boston Conservatory, is a typical person who emphasized the importance of arts. Paulnack was exceptionally good in math and science and also had good scores in schools. His parents wished that he would become an engineer, a doctor or a chemist. When he announced his decision to become a musician, his parents doubted whether he would be valued as a musician in the society. Yet he went for it and today he has high regards by the Boston Globe. He had said that he had taken music as his career as he regarded music, or any art in general, helped in figuring out who he really is.

The life of W.S. Gilbert also describes the how much he regarded arts. He had joined the Civil Service and regretted it. To supplement his income, Gilbert wrote a variety of stories and developed a profound interest in drama. From then on his interest in drama increased and he wrote and directed many plays. Though he received much resent from the public he never rested and continued to create masterpieces.

People like Dr. Karl Paulnack and W.S. Gilbert have mastered profound skills of art as they have seen the importance of it. The arts are definitely as necessary as the other subject areas.

There is a separate forum for testing questions. This is for college essays not SAT prep.