Please grade my essay? Thanks!! (Will grade back with link provided)

<p>Prompt: Do people have to be highly competitve in order to succeed?</p>

<pre><code> Success can be measured in many different ways, but most would agree that one feels successful when he or she has reached his or fullest potential in something that he or she cares a bout. While some may discourage competition as each person shines in different ways, it's still important if one wants to unerstand what needs to be improved. It is only through competition when one is humbled and able to identify areas in which he or she can improve and work towards his or her fullest potential.
I've always loved writing and believed myself to be an apt writer, but it was only through the many competitions I've been in that I've been able to mature and grow in my writing ability. My very first writing competition was in elementary school, when I won first palce among my fifth grade class mates, for an assignment about a childhood memory. Because I had won this competition, I then advanced to a district-wide writing copmetition, in which I ended up losing. The assignment was to write about our opinions on Global Warming, and I had failed to finish my essay in the time given because I didn't understand the concept of global warming . It is from this experience, however, that I learned that although I was good at my use of sentementalism i nwriting, I needed to pay more attention to current events to be a more informed writer.
Some may avoid being competitive with the fear of losing friends, but one must rememebr that competition benefits both parties, and this aspect of copmetition can be seen in the Olympic Events. Fpr years, Michael Phelps and Ryan Lochte have been best friends through their training for swim events in the Olympics. Because the ywere similar in skill level and swimming style, they found it easy to relate to one another. However, when the Olympic Games came around, they were more competitors than friends. Constantly finishing their events at time sclose by the second, they both tried their best to beat each other by greater times. Sometimes, Lochte would win first, and other times, Phelps would beat him to the championship. But the fact that the athletes never win events consecutively is a sign that this competition has a positive impact towards their improvement as athletes.
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<p>I ran out of time so i didn't have a conclusion.</p>

<p>The time pressure comes through in your writing. It will limit your score to 8 most likely.</p>

<p>Your care in being precise, as when you write “one feels successful when he or she”, comes across as awkward rather than precise. Personalize your examples so that pronouns such as “one”, “he or she”, or “some” are unnecessary.</p>