Please grade my SAT essay?

<p>Prompt: Many people believe that our government should do more to solve our problems. After all, how can one individual create more jobs or make roads safer or improve the schools or help to provide any of the other benefits that we have come to enjoy? And yet expecting that the government--rather than individuals--should always come up with the solutions to society's ills may have made us less-reliant, undermining our independence and self-sufficiency.</p>

<h2>Should people take more responsibility for solving problems that affect their communities or the nation in general?</h2>

<p>Since the founding of the United States, Americans have debated the merits of small and big government. The former theoretically pushes individuals to thrive independently and work hard. Yet while the latter theoretically undermines self-sufficiency by creating a safety net for civilians, it is preferable because it provides an infrastructure by which individuals can flourish. The government, rather than the people, must take responsibility to facilitate each citizen's contribution to society.</p>

<p>As seen in the Great Depression, federal neglect prevents civilians as a whole from achieving progress. When President Herbert Hoover undertook a laissez-faire attitude toward the economy, a policy that entails little involvement, the entire country experienced a financial catastrophe. Hoover could have safeguarded against the disaster by creating laws to regulate credit and the stock market, but his failure to do so caused a quarter of Americans to lose employment. In this desolate time period, with little money or basic resources, civilians clearly lacked the power to better society. They could only languish in misery until Hoover's successor, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, healed the economy through governmental reforms.</p>

<p>A similar principle applies today in the case of the current recession. Because of the Bush administration's oversight, the housing bubble grew, giving loans to unqualified people who then succumbed to foreclosure when they could not repay their debt. If the government had regulated the banking system more, these problematic loans would never have existed. The recession would thus be forestalled if not completely eliminated. But in reality, federal negligence has blocked room for improvement for thousands of jobless Americans.</p>

<p>Altogether, people cannot independently succeed without the backing of the government. The legal system must meet a high standard of monitoring. Otherwise, citizens will find themselves helpless in the face of national calamity.</p>

<p>You write this essay with a very strong sense of authority that is rare among high schoolers. I would give this essay a 6/6.</p>

<p>One small grammar issue, “… the housing bubble grew, giving loans to unqualified people…”.</p>

<p>Good job.</p>

<p>Very strong essay 6/6</p>

<p>Merits:

  1. Nice use of medium to beginning difficult vocab
  2. Strong examples
  3. Strong analyses of the examples
  4. Great Introduction
  5. Very solid conclusion
  6. Cohesiveness
  7. Strong thesis</p>

<p>Keep up the good work :)</p>

<p>Thank you!</p>