<p>Here's the essay: </p>
<p>In my opinion, it is not best to determine how wise people are by how happy they are. It is possible for someone to be happy, but not wise; for example, consider happy-go-lucky people. Being wise means being able to make decisions beneficial for himself and others; and if someone is happy, there is no implication that the cause of his happiness is because of his decisions. We take a look at three examples; one from my personal experience, one from a well-known fable, and the last from history. </p>
<p>In my school, most of the students could be classified into 3 groups: one containing the people who study hard and put academics before other priorities, one containing the people who slack off at first but end up cramming when they realize their responsibilities (or when they figured out that they procrastinated too much), and the last containing the people who totally ignore their academics. I have the observed that the group that is the happiest is the last group, who totally ignore their academics. As opposed to the other 2 groups who give concern to their studies, the third group just play, chat, or watch TV for all the time they are not in school. Now, would any rational person say that the third group consists of the wisest people? No! They don’t think clearly before they neglect their responsibilities and in the long run, they will end up suffering the consequences, when they would not be able to get into a decent college thus would not get a respectable job. In contrast, the other 2 groups, especially the first group, are not that happy, though contented, with what they are doing; but in the long run, their responsibility with their academics would pay off. </p>
<p>Consider the well-known fable: “The Ant and the Grasshopper”. In this fable, there is an ant, who is hardworking while gathering food during the summer; and a grasshopper, who slacks off all summer and sings and frolics around. The ant does not really enjoy what he is doing but knows that he has to gather food or else he would starve in the winter. On the other hand, the grasshopper enjoys the summer, and ignore all advice from the ant and other insects. When the winter comes, the ant has food, thus is comfortable, while the grasshopper nearly starves to death. During the summer, it is clear that the grasshopper is happier than the ant, but does that mean that the grasshopper is wiser? Again, no! Sometimes happiness results not because of the wisdom, but because of lack of foresight. </p>
<p>Lastly, we consider the people living (or who have lived) in countries with communist governments (like North Koreans). The government fools the citizens into thinking that they have all they need, and the society can’t be better. The deception makes them happy, but can we consider the people wise? Obviously, we cannot consider the people wise because they could have done something to make their lives better, but they do not think of ways to improve their lives. In this case, their happiness / satisfaction results not because of their wisdom, but because of their lack of insightful thinking and desire to improve their lives. </p>
<p>In conclusion, it is really not best to determine how wise people are based on how happy they are. A person can be happy due to other reasons than his wisdom, like their lack of foresight or desire to improve his life. These reasons do not signify or hint that he is wise. </p>
<p>(end of essay)</p>
<p>I've gotten this graded from the one running pwnthesat.com, and this is the notes that I have received:</p>
<p>Score: 10
- Development and support of point of view: 5
- Organization and Focus: 5
- Grammar, Usage, and Mechanics: 5
- Variety of Sentence Structure: 5
- Use of Vocabulary: 5</p>
<p>It’s tough to generalize about North Koreans being fooled into thinking they’re happy. If you saw the news that broke recently about widespread crimes against humanity there, it’s likely many North Korean citizens don’t “improve their lives” out of crippling fear, not foolishness.</p>
<p>You’ve got a pronoun error in your last paragraph, even though you avoid making the same error two other times in that paragraph!</p>
<p>Your essay’s organization was generally quite strong, but the “consider happy-go-lucky people” in your intro is misplaced.</p>