Please grade the essay I just took.

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>Topic: The harder the battle the greater the glory</p>

<p>Those who have overcome extreme hardships will attain the glory they rightfully deserve. One of the toughest wars in American History, the Civil War, demonstrates this phenomenom. Also, when I like many others have studied for a very hard test and put all my effort into studying and achieved that high grade I needed. </p>

<p>The Civil War, was a very hard war and through the course of it had no clear winner. Many lives were lost but eventually outstood the jubilant Union who surpassed the Confederate. The draft was ensued to attain manpower, the Union gave up a great source of money, slaves, just to win this tough war. But when they won and it was worth it, since slaves were free. THey no longer have to bear the burden of being forced to work and humiliated. Our people now know to themselves they stand up as one of the greatest nations in the world after winning a war as such as this. With their heightened morale they can now show off their strength to the rest of the world and be hailed as one of the greatest nations to this day. </p>

<p>Similarly, the same process goes along with every day tasks; such as studying hard for a difficult test. I like many others in my AP Calculus class were anxious about the test approaching us. A difficult test that would decide the very fate of our passing of the class. I studied hard and strove to pass that test. Day and Night I lingered through my books, memorizing all the key facts, learning the concepts, and learning the step by step processes. On the day of the test, I confidently entered the room to take the test. To my content, my hardwork and perseverence paid off in the end. I was able to achieve the grade and pass the class with an amazing grade. I was full of glee after this, knowing I can do something as amazing this just by hardwork allows me to recognize that I can receive high marks just as others have. </p>

<p>Ultimately, the harder you strive for something, the greater you will feel about yourself. Whether it be a full scale war or just a test for an average person.</p>

2

<p>c'mon.......</p>

3

<p>I'd give this around a 10. I think your first body paragraph was a little shaky, because your statements don't suggest that "the harder the battle the greater the glory." You mostly said that they fought hard and the result was the end of slavery, a great result. But you didn't really mention that battling harder would have lead to more glory?</p>

<p>Your second body paragraph was solid. You could also have talked about "the harder the battle the greater the glory." In other words, if you studied less vigorously, what impact would that have had? You could put in an additional sentence saying that if you hadn't studied as hard, you wouldn't have had as great a grade, and that even if you did very well, the victory would seem "hollow." You worked really hard, and that led to a great sense of self-achievement.</p>

<p>Good.</p>

4

<p>There are quite a few grammatical/stylistic errors, such as using a passive voice instead of active, using improper punctuation, and fragments (there are probably more, but I'm really tired). </p>

<p>You sort of don't directly address the topic at all times, especially the first body paragraph. It seems as though you're performing a memory dump of your knowledge of the Civil War rather than using it effectively to prove the point. </p>

<p>The second body paragraph is good, though, as it is used to prove the point . </p>

<p>I'd give this about an 8.</p>